Enlightenment III
Okay, so for those who are not aware (which I think makes up the bulk of whoever might be reading), my womb-emancipation day is arriving. And again for those who don't know, that will give me exactly 16 revolutions of the Earth around the Sun to bear on my shoulders.
That makes me very sad.
The thing is: I either want to live as a young, care-free person who can do what ever the hell she wanted or to not exist at all. The latter one is out of the questions because apparently I have obligations. Weird.
My point is that I am getting old.
I can practically hear someone scream, "Old? Eighty is old! Sixteen, you're at the pinnacle of your youth!"
And that's just it. Pinnacle. Which means that after it's over, it's all downhill. Before I know it, I'll be twenty going to college. All my hair will go grey from the stress and I'll be spending my Saturdays mugging for exams. Know what'll happen then?
I'll grow older. Then I'll be thirty and BAM! I have seven-year olds running around. WTF?
At this point, I feel as if I will never get a break. I will grow old with my partner (whoever he may be) and my children will grow as well (will they feel the same way I feel now about growing up?) and have their own kids.
BAMAGAIN! I'm a grandma. Fan-friggin'-tastic. I don't even know how to knit. MY GRANDCHILDREN ARE GOING TO FREEZE IN THE WINTER BECAUSE I WASN'T ABLE TO KNIT THEM A SWEATER!
I later retire in [insert exotic paradise here]. One would think, "Yes, this is where I get my break. All my hard work has paid off and I now have this *points to [insert exotic monument here]*"
But no. I honestly can say that I really don't think I'd be satisfied with the end result of the work I do all my life. Which means there's not really a point in me growing up. And I don't want to.
I don't want to turn sixteen, seventeen or even eighteen (*gasp* not even eighteen? NO NOT EVEN EIGHTEEN). Because that will go on (as per the laws of physics) and I will become wrinkly, flabby and ...old.
I think what I really want is for a pause where I don't have to be worried about anything, anxious about anything, stressed about anything. Perhaps I'd want something like my bed in a meadow of the greenest grass, the sky being a mostly cloudy with the sun hiding, showing no promise of sunshine (which is something I like); and I'd like all my music to be played in high quality in surround sound so I don't have to use my hurtful earphones. There would be a large library right underneath my bed for my convenience, the collection including the finest of literature like Spanking Shakespeare or The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Of course there would be fandom of the slash kind (and maybe others as well if I'm feeling merciful). There would also be a television screen right above my bed so that I wouldn't have to crane my head. And I would have none of the "Idiot Box;" the screen would only be showing movies like Amreeka or C.R.A.Z.Y. (and Bollywood is a must).
I think that is what I would like best - what I want the most.
Not to grow up.
WHERE ARE YOU PETERPAN? SCREW WENDY AND TAKE ME TO NEVERLAND!.
.
.
On a completely different note, let's welcome the mark of a new revolution for the Earth around the Sun. It's a very exciting time for her (Earth) so wish her luck and hope she doesn't screw up.
~P
That makes me very sad.
The thing is: I either want to live as a young, care-free person who can do what ever the hell she wanted or to not exist at all. The latter one is out of the questions because apparently I have obligations. Weird.
My point is that I am getting old.
I can practically hear someone scream, "Old? Eighty is old! Sixteen, you're at the pinnacle of your youth!"
And that's just it. Pinnacle. Which means that after it's over, it's all downhill. Before I know it, I'll be twenty going to college. All my hair will go grey from the stress and I'll be spending my Saturdays mugging for exams. Know what'll happen then?
I'll grow older. Then I'll be thirty and BAM! I have seven-year olds running around. WTF?
At this point, I feel as if I will never get a break. I will grow old with my partner (whoever he may be) and my children will grow as well (will they feel the same way I feel now about growing up?) and have their own kids.
BAMAGAIN! I'm a grandma. Fan-friggin'-tastic. I don't even know how to knit. MY GRANDCHILDREN ARE GOING TO FREEZE IN THE WINTER BECAUSE I WASN'T ABLE TO KNIT THEM A SWEATER!
I later retire in [insert exotic paradise here]. One would think, "Yes, this is where I get my break. All my hard work has paid off and I now have this *points to [insert exotic monument here]*"
But no. I honestly can say that I really don't think I'd be satisfied with the end result of the work I do all my life. Which means there's not really a point in me growing up. And I don't want to.
I don't want to turn sixteen, seventeen or even eighteen (*gasp* not even eighteen? NO NOT EVEN EIGHTEEN). Because that will go on (as per the laws of physics) and I will become wrinkly, flabby and ...old.
I think what I really want is for a pause where I don't have to be worried about anything, anxious about anything, stressed about anything. Perhaps I'd want something like my bed in a meadow of the greenest grass, the sky being a mostly cloudy with the sun hiding, showing no promise of sunshine (which is something I like); and I'd like all my music to be played in high quality in surround sound so I don't have to use my hurtful earphones. There would be a large library right underneath my bed for my convenience, the collection including the finest of literature like Spanking Shakespeare or The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Of course there would be fandom of the slash kind (and maybe others as well if I'm feeling merciful). There would also be a television screen right above my bed so that I wouldn't have to crane my head. And I would have none of the "Idiot Box;" the screen would only be showing movies like Amreeka or C.R.A.Z.Y. (and Bollywood is a must).
I think that is what I would like best - what I want the most.
Not to grow up.
WHERE ARE YOU PETERPAN? SCREW WENDY AND TAKE ME TO NEVERLAND!.
.
.
On a completely different note, let's welcome the mark of a new revolution for the Earth around the Sun. It's a very exciting time for her (Earth) so wish her luck and hope she doesn't screw up.
~P