You said you would never leave me, I believe You- I believe
Originally published at Ramblings. Please leave any comments there.
Okay…well…it’s official…I’m in the group for Mexico now.
I know…how many ‘officials’ can you have, right?
I started really doubting my place in the group a few weeks ago, but after countless…and I do mean COUNTLESS hours with God, going through everything I really feel good about it. I know that God puts people in positions that that person wouldn’t generally yell “I want to be there!” sometimes, and I feel as though, if I get there, and it’s not how I’m hoping it will be, then that’s how it will end up you know?
Like- I feel confident that after we get there, things will be awesome, but I also know that if they aren’t- then maybe He’s trying to teach me something else…something I wouldn’t expect to learn under those circumstances.
I’ve never felt SO close to God…I’m definitely not letting this go just because I’ve reached a good point in my decision. Like…wow…it’s nothing short of amazing. God totally blesses you for it to. Like- the other night, I had a ’session’ that last like…5 hours or so…keeping me up until like 7am in the end, and I still woke up at noon, feeling completely rested.
Again today- basically the same thing happened last night, went to bed around 2ish though…I woke up and looked at my clock and thought it said 1:00…I was kinda irked with myself…yea- I get up and go in the living room and realize it’s only 11:00…I just couldn’t see right I guess…so it’s absolutely awesome!
It’s just awesome…like- these past three days, I’ve given everything to God…I’ve been on the internet a bit, but honestly, the rest of the time has been with Him, and blah! Like there are no words…at all. You would think I would get burnt out on this, but I simply can’t!
I’ve finally realized how much time I waste online just going to the same sites over and over out of boredom, to fill up the time…but now- the second I get bored, I get off. That’s how I should have been all along. I spend 10 minutes online if I’m not on AIM…and even my AIM time has been shortened, which absolutely rocks. Don’t get me wrong- if I’m in a conversation- then I adore it…like a REAL conversation…but if things are being kept weird and surfacey, I don’t enjoy it all that much.
Anyways- wrapping it up- God totally blesses you for the time you give Him…what I have gained from these past few days…it’s just unexplainable, and it’s definitely NOT ending here. In fact, I do believe that’s what I’m about to go do! Life is so…SO SO good!
“…The real thing that made me sad that day was that God, who I think is quite good, was being misrepresented to terribly in the media. I realize it isn’t popular to say such things, that as a Christian writer I should keep my mouth shut and kiss everybody’s butt, but it is difficult to do so when there are so many media-savvy idiots pretending to represent Jesus. Just this morning I watched a fellow on his Christian show talk about what we should be doing in Iraq,… He’s a preacher for crying out loud. Why doesn’t he just tell people about Jesus?
If I weren’t a Christian, and I kept seeing Christian leaders on television more concerned with money, fame and power than with grace, love, and social justice, I wouldn’t want to believe in God at all. I really wouldn’t. The whole thing would make me want to walk away from religion altogether because, like I was saying about Santa Clause, their god must be an idiot to see the world in such a one-sided way. The god who cares so much about getting rich must not have treasure stored up in heaven, and the god so concerned about getting even must not have very much patience, and the god who cares so much about the West must really hate the rest of the world, and that doesn’t sound like a very good god to me. The televanelist can have him for all I care.
You know, the real problem with God-impostors is that they worship a very small god, a god who exists simply to validate their identities. This god falls apart as soon as you touch him, as soon as you start asking very basic questions about the sanctity of all human life, the failure of combat mentality, and the lustful love of power” - taken from Donald Miller’s “Searching For God Knows What”
And for this reason, Donald Miller amazes me. Apparently the man doesn’t do many speaking gigs, yet somehow I saw that he spoke in the Indianapolis area SIX times last year…yes- I’m definitely keeping my eyes peeled for him coming back around here…
There’s a part in this book where he talks about wondering whether we were created in Gods image, or if we created Him in ours. It was more of a “to make you think” question, but he’s got an amazing point. I know in the past I’ve used God as something to support my ideas on something when looking back- I was SO so wrong. Am I not just as guilty as the people who yack away on TV? My audience might not be as large, but they’re just as important. I say audience in a very…not literal way lol, sounded really bad- I know, that’s not how I meant it. I’m just saying- not as many people hear what I say, see what I do- but it’s just as important as if I was on TV and millions saw me every day.
I would love to just sit and talk with that guy, I respect him like crazy. He’s got some great opinions, I love how he sees things. He seems to be very…anti-conservative (politically), and while I am okay with Bush outside of the war, it doesn’t matter. I see what he’s saying- he backs his opinions up, and while I don’t agree with him 100% on everything, I love that he explains his reasoning.
So yes- everyone officially needs to go out and get “Searching For God Knows What” along with “Blue Like Jazz”