the end is only the beginning
Hooray. I just finished my last final exam for the semester. Yay. So I am off to go home and do something productive er something.. I will be coming back yet another semester, the fall, to KVCC. A fourth year at community college. Yippee. I really don't mind though I mean I know everything is working out the way it is supposed to and I know that it'll give me plenty of time to get prepared to go on to CMU. Plus I like my job, well most of the time, and I like staying here close to my friends and family. So either way, until I can work enough to make enough money to fix mine or buy a new computer, I still can't use mine at home.
I guess while I'm still at school I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell everyone that you probably won't be hearing much from me on here. But this is gonna be the summer of fun!!! I'll be "21 and invincible", hah. So I look forward to hearing from all of you so we can truly enjoy this summer.
In other things I am working on letting go of the past and things I can't control. I took meditation class this semester at school and it really taught me how to really have some perspective on things in my life and I just feel overall alot better. I don't feel so discouraged but then again there are times when I can't help but feel that way. When the people I really just want around and whom I keep bending over backwards for just don't care about me and my feelings unless they're getting something out of it, it breaks my heart. I mean I am just trying to do the right thing and it doesn't matter because I still can't convince them that they need me in their lives because they seem to be living theirs perfectly well without noticing I'm not around. I understand that this is how life is, people come and go and you can't make people do things they don't want to do and you shouldn't have to. I just wish that some acknowledgment or a nice genuine "hey how have you been, i miss talking to you" would be really nice to hear sometimes.
Yes, we all need to let go of the past and move on and create new memories and all that but it's still wrong to just pretend that someone that was a part of your life isn't anymore. I've never been one to just let go of people and probably never will but they never seem to have a problem letting go of me. A viscious circle I always repeat. Regardless of all this, I hope to quit trying and I want to just drop the burden of caring about people who don't care about me as sad as it is. I think it's what is best for me and the best choice for me is to do what makes me truly happy.
Oh and just some parting lyrics that seem to fit this:
-from Best Deceptions by Dashboard Confessional
"I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you
I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I’ll be all right when my hands get warm.ignoring the phone,
I’d rather say nothing. I’d rather you’d never heard my voice.
Too late to be graciousand you do not warrant long good-byes.
You’re calling too late"
I guess while I'm still at school I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell everyone that you probably won't be hearing much from me on here. But this is gonna be the summer of fun!!! I'll be "21 and invincible", hah. So I look forward to hearing from all of you so we can truly enjoy this summer.
In other things I am working on letting go of the past and things I can't control. I took meditation class this semester at school and it really taught me how to really have some perspective on things in my life and I just feel overall alot better. I don't feel so discouraged but then again there are times when I can't help but feel that way. When the people I really just want around and whom I keep bending over backwards for just don't care about me and my feelings unless they're getting something out of it, it breaks my heart. I mean I am just trying to do the right thing and it doesn't matter because I still can't convince them that they need me in their lives because they seem to be living theirs perfectly well without noticing I'm not around. I understand that this is how life is, people come and go and you can't make people do things they don't want to do and you shouldn't have to. I just wish that some acknowledgment or a nice genuine "hey how have you been, i miss talking to you" would be really nice to hear sometimes.
Yes, we all need to let go of the past and move on and create new memories and all that but it's still wrong to just pretend that someone that was a part of your life isn't anymore. I've never been one to just let go of people and probably never will but they never seem to have a problem letting go of me. A viscious circle I always repeat. Regardless of all this, I hope to quit trying and I want to just drop the burden of caring about people who don't care about me as sad as it is. I think it's what is best for me and the best choice for me is to do what makes me truly happy.
Oh and just some parting lyrics that seem to fit this:
-from Best Deceptions by Dashboard Confessional
"I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you
I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I’ll be all right when my hands get warm.ignoring the phone,
I’d rather say nothing. I’d rather you’d never heard my voice.
Too late to be graciousand you do not warrant long good-byes.
You’re calling too late"