The space between...
tayles - If I thought you could wait till Christmas to get this I'd buy it for you, as it is...
In other news -
This morning I was walking down to the station, as normal, using my umbrella to hide from the utterly miserable morning that it was, all rain and grey and dullness, when 'The Space Between Us' came on my mp3 player and wham! It was like being hit by a bus or something. Suddenly there was this image in my head and it felt like my imagination had gone into overdrive because... well it had. I can't describe it very well, but it felt like everything had been thrown into such clear focus. It was one of those weird moments where you don't know whether to laugh or cry, when the character's emotions are yours and they're right there and it's sudden and incredible and exasperating because you want it on the page right there and then, you want it out of your head and in front of you rather than inside you, you want everyone to see and feel what you can because it's such an overwhelming feeling that you just have to share it and it's horrible because you can't share it, because you're walking down a rain soaked British street in some suburb of just another city and the pictures are painted across your mind not a cinema screen or a piece of paper and it's terrifying because you know there is no way you'll ever get it right, not that good and perfect and flawed and broken and yet you really, really want to.
*takes a deep breath* That's what hit me this morning, suddenly 'The War of Tremanthia' made sense in a way it's never done before. The characters have been popping into my head a bit over the last few weeks but it's like suddenly now I really know them, which is utterly daft because I've been writing and thinking about them since that night I can still remember when I was seventeen and I was lying in bed trying not to think about coursework and the Countess and le Tolrothy threw themselves at me for the first time.
And now I'm feeling kind of cold and lost and desperate to write about them but I can't because... because 'Tremanthia' is three books long, it's a quarter of a million words and if I started re-drafting/re-writing that... it'd be a safe bet that you'd all be waiting a very, very long time for the next instalment of 'Nile Blue' ><; It took me a year to write the first draft and while that's including a couple of months at the beginning of university when nothing got done, I was a lazy first year student then, I could spend all day doing nothing but writing if I wanted to but I don't have that luxury anymore. I'm probably never going to be able to beat my personal record - 20,000 words in one weekend when I was supposed to be revising for my final A Level exams and instead soared through the beginning of the second book. And as much as I love Tuti, Saito, Nagayan, *pnish* and the rest of them... they just don't give me this, this whatever it is that makes me want to scream because no one knows what I'm talking about or even particular cares (don't start, Squirtle, you're an exception ^_~) and makes me want to write and write until, as improbable as it sometimes seems, I do get it right and I feel like I've done them justice.
But writing fanfiction gives me the immediate satisfaction of seeing people appreciating it and that's kind of important too... because writing without feedback, without any kind of contact with anyone else... it sucks, quite frankly!
And ever since then I've been feeling restless and incapable of concentrating on anything.
But news of boy pron helps so *shrugs*
In other news -
This morning I was walking down to the station, as normal, using my umbrella to hide from the utterly miserable morning that it was, all rain and grey and dullness, when 'The Space Between Us' came on my mp3 player and wham! It was like being hit by a bus or something. Suddenly there was this image in my head and it felt like my imagination had gone into overdrive because... well it had. I can't describe it very well, but it felt like everything had been thrown into such clear focus. It was one of those weird moments where you don't know whether to laugh or cry, when the character's emotions are yours and they're right there and it's sudden and incredible and exasperating because you want it on the page right there and then, you want it out of your head and in front of you rather than inside you, you want everyone to see and feel what you can because it's such an overwhelming feeling that you just have to share it and it's horrible because you can't share it, because you're walking down a rain soaked British street in some suburb of just another city and the pictures are painted across your mind not a cinema screen or a piece of paper and it's terrifying because you know there is no way you'll ever get it right, not that good and perfect and flawed and broken and yet you really, really want to.
*takes a deep breath* That's what hit me this morning, suddenly 'The War of Tremanthia' made sense in a way it's never done before. The characters have been popping into my head a bit over the last few weeks but it's like suddenly now I really know them, which is utterly daft because I've been writing and thinking about them since that night I can still remember when I was seventeen and I was lying in bed trying not to think about coursework and the Countess and le Tolrothy threw themselves at me for the first time.
And now I'm feeling kind of cold and lost and desperate to write about them but I can't because... because 'Tremanthia' is three books long, it's a quarter of a million words and if I started re-drafting/re-writing that... it'd be a safe bet that you'd all be waiting a very, very long time for the next instalment of 'Nile Blue' ><; It took me a year to write the first draft and while that's including a couple of months at the beginning of university when nothing got done, I was a lazy first year student then, I could spend all day doing nothing but writing if I wanted to but I don't have that luxury anymore. I'm probably never going to be able to beat my personal record - 20,000 words in one weekend when I was supposed to be revising for my final A Level exams and instead soared through the beginning of the second book. And as much as I love Tuti, Saito, Nagayan, *pnish* and the rest of them... they just don't give me this, this whatever it is that makes me want to scream because no one knows what I'm talking about or even particular cares (don't start, Squirtle, you're an exception ^_~) and makes me want to write and write until, as improbable as it sometimes seems, I do get it right and I feel like I've done them justice.
But writing fanfiction gives me the immediate satisfaction of seeing people appreciating it and that's kind of important too... because writing without feedback, without any kind of contact with anyone else... it sucks, quite frankly!
And ever since then I've been feeling restless and incapable of concentrating on anything.
But news of boy pron helps so *shrugs*