Shadowrun 2070 : Food Fight
The classic intro Shadowrun module.
GM: Seattle. 2070. The Night is Cold. The Rain is wet. And you are HUNGRY.
Ryleigh: I'd be surprised if rain wasn't wet.
Dr. Rubicante: Back in my day, the rain was wetter.
Backup GM: In the manasphere it has been documented to rain fish.
GM: It's the Great Equaliser. It'll stop a troll the size of a car just as easily as the smallest dwarf or thinnest elf. It ain't a weapon, spell, or even a dragon. It's Hunger. When it's time to eat, you just gotta get the stuffers in your stomach before you go berserk. What are stuffers? they used to be called Junk Food or Munchies. They're probably about as good for you as nutrisoy and krill-filler, regardless of the ads from the UCAS nutrition council.
Ripper K: I'm hungry. Wanna go get some protein bars?
GM: When the Pangs hit, there's only one place to go (especially when the sun rises in about an hour) to find that kind of chow. It's the place everyone loves to hate: Stuffer Shack.
Ryleigh: Let's raid the shack.
Dr. Rubicante: Back in my day, 'Stuffer Shack' was the title of porn. It was one of those cross-genre horror/smut pieces.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Still is Grandad, get with the times
Dr. Rubicante: I got with the times once. It was awful.
Ryleigh: They'd done porn in a Stuffer Shack
Ripper K: *looks smug* I know
Ripper K heads straight to the energy bars - 150% protein with added caffeine and red food food colouring.
Ripper K: Anybody want some Soya-Bulk? It's on special. Hey, banana flavour!
An elf-woman and her kid come in, a car explodes in the car park, the cashier gets knocked out, and four gangers come in and order everybody onto the floor.
Dr. Rubicante: You spilled my soykaf. Prepare to die, obviously.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: You should all back the fuck off right now, you're not getting between me and my pie!
Ripper K points at the largest of the raiders
Ripper K: Hey! Hey, you! You allergic to nuts?
Ganger: Yes, what's it to you, blubberhead?
Ripper K: Hope you've got your Epipen. *kicks the ganger's nuts into his throat*
The GM (and temp GM while the GM had a guy thrown at his car at Subway) are still learning how to use roll20 for Shadowrun.
Ripper K's player: It's a learning experience for all of us. Especially for the ganger, who has just learned 'Wear a cup'
Another ganger screams, and unloads his shotgun at Ripper.
Ganger 2: What the fuck ARE you?! DIE!
Ripper K: What am I? Pissed off, chummer. Or should that be 'Chum'? *showing all those pointy pointy orca teeth*
Ganger 2: *starts backing off* Holy shit! I signed up to knock over a stuffer shack, not fight monsters! Frag this!
GM: He fuckin' Books it. There's a little something called Professional Rating. It's the WHAT THE FUCK EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG RUN AWAAAAY Stat.
We interrogate the remaining gangers. They claim they were paid to intimidate the elf. Blowing up her car was the chosen method.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Ngong Kau, idiot. Explosives on this kind of run? More likely to blow your idiot asses up.
Dr. Rubicante sighs softly, producing a scalpel from his medkit.
Dr. Rubicante: Do you know how much a Mortimer of London Berwick Suit costs? Soykaf stains are so hard to get off... I may need to sell some organs to help pay for it. Unless of course... you have some information interesting enough to keep me from cutting off that pretty little tongue?
But they really don't have much more to share. They don't know who or why they were hired. The elf doesn't want to explain either, at least while her kid is within earshot. Ripper volunteers to keep him distracted.
GM: The kid jumps up on you and gives you a hug, going wooow at your big muscles ans the fact that you look like big willy from the movies
Dr. Rubicante: Free Willy 7
Backup GM : big willy, hurr hurr
GM: (The KIDS MOVIE, not the Porno!)
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Free Willy 11" more like it....
GM: Anyway - who's going with the mom?
Ripper K: LOL. wow, the accidental innuendo is strong today
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Cute kid. So whats the situation here? You on the run, abusive husband, dealt with a dragon?
Apparently the kid's dad is an exec at one of the AA corps, and she was being paid a small remittance to never bother him again. She has no idea why the money has been replaced with explosives.
Ripper K is giving the kid piggyback rides around the store.
GM: Before you can plow deeper into this dilemma, however, You hear sirens in the distance. Knight Errant patrol this area, and they're on their way. Unless you want to have a nice chat with a nice officer who wants to know your SIN, I suggest you hightail it out of there, chummers.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Look, lady, do you and the kids want a lift home or something? I don't know what else we can do, I'll talk to the others...But uh, for obvious reasons we needs to make like a tree and fuck off
Dr. Rubicante OoC: I still don't know how to cast magic. XD Can I have some practice casts? Like, OOC targetting dummies. XD
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Just use the ganger Ripper stuffed in the fridge.
Dr. Rubicante: Let's take the gangers with us! 8D Make them dump all their equipment in your trunk first. If they really just want to scare the lady, they've done their job and they're gonna get paid- but if they were paid to kill a woman and her child, well, sympathy is a privilege they do not have.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Fair enough, besides, they owe you for that free medical treatment
Dr. Rubicante: These medkits don't refill themselves, after all!
GM: Seattle. 2070. The Night is Cold. The Rain is wet. And you are HUNGRY.
Ryleigh: I'd be surprised if rain wasn't wet.
Dr. Rubicante: Back in my day, the rain was wetter.
Backup GM: In the manasphere it has been documented to rain fish.
GM: It's the Great Equaliser. It'll stop a troll the size of a car just as easily as the smallest dwarf or thinnest elf. It ain't a weapon, spell, or even a dragon. It's Hunger. When it's time to eat, you just gotta get the stuffers in your stomach before you go berserk. What are stuffers? they used to be called Junk Food or Munchies. They're probably about as good for you as nutrisoy and krill-filler, regardless of the ads from the UCAS nutrition council.
Ripper K: I'm hungry. Wanna go get some protein bars?
GM: When the Pangs hit, there's only one place to go (especially when the sun rises in about an hour) to find that kind of chow. It's the place everyone loves to hate: Stuffer Shack.
Ryleigh: Let's raid the shack.
Dr. Rubicante: Back in my day, 'Stuffer Shack' was the title of porn. It was one of those cross-genre horror/smut pieces.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Still is Grandad, get with the times
Dr. Rubicante: I got with the times once. It was awful.
Ryleigh: They'd done porn in a Stuffer Shack
Ripper K: *looks smug* I know
Ripper K heads straight to the energy bars - 150% protein with added caffeine and red food food colouring.
Ripper K: Anybody want some Soya-Bulk? It's on special. Hey, banana flavour!
An elf-woman and her kid come in, a car explodes in the car park, the cashier gets knocked out, and four gangers come in and order everybody onto the floor.
Dr. Rubicante: You spilled my soykaf. Prepare to die, obviously.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: You should all back the fuck off right now, you're not getting between me and my pie!
Ripper K points at the largest of the raiders
Ripper K: Hey! Hey, you! You allergic to nuts?
Ganger: Yes, what's it to you, blubberhead?
Ripper K: Hope you've got your Epipen. *kicks the ganger's nuts into his throat*
The GM (and temp GM while the GM had a guy thrown at his car at Subway) are still learning how to use roll20 for Shadowrun.
Ripper K's player: It's a learning experience for all of us. Especially for the ganger, who has just learned 'Wear a cup'
Another ganger screams, and unloads his shotgun at Ripper.
Ganger 2: What the fuck ARE you?! DIE!
Ripper K: What am I? Pissed off, chummer. Or should that be 'Chum'? *showing all those pointy pointy orca teeth*
Ganger 2: *starts backing off* Holy shit! I signed up to knock over a stuffer shack, not fight monsters! Frag this!
GM: He fuckin' Books it. There's a little something called Professional Rating. It's the WHAT THE FUCK EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG RUN AWAAAAY Stat.
We interrogate the remaining gangers. They claim they were paid to intimidate the elf. Blowing up her car was the chosen method.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Ngong Kau, idiot. Explosives on this kind of run? More likely to blow your idiot asses up.
Dr. Rubicante sighs softly, producing a scalpel from his medkit.
Dr. Rubicante: Do you know how much a Mortimer of London Berwick Suit costs? Soykaf stains are so hard to get off... I may need to sell some organs to help pay for it. Unless of course... you have some information interesting enough to keep me from cutting off that pretty little tongue?
But they really don't have much more to share. They don't know who or why they were hired. The elf doesn't want to explain either, at least while her kid is within earshot. Ripper volunteers to keep him distracted.
GM: The kid jumps up on you and gives you a hug, going wooow at your big muscles ans the fact that you look like big willy from the movies
Dr. Rubicante: Free Willy 7
Backup GM : big willy, hurr hurr
GM: (The KIDS MOVIE, not the Porno!)
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Free Willy 11" more like it....
GM: Anyway - who's going with the mom?
Ripper K: LOL. wow, the accidental innuendo is strong today
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Cute kid. So whats the situation here? You on the run, abusive husband, dealt with a dragon?
Apparently the kid's dad is an exec at one of the AA corps, and she was being paid a small remittance to never bother him again. She has no idea why the money has been replaced with explosives.
Ripper K is giving the kid piggyback rides around the store.
GM: Before you can plow deeper into this dilemma, however, You hear sirens in the distance. Knight Errant patrol this area, and they're on their way. Unless you want to have a nice chat with a nice officer who wants to know your SIN, I suggest you hightail it out of there, chummers.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Look, lady, do you and the kids want a lift home or something? I don't know what else we can do, I'll talk to the others...But uh, for obvious reasons we needs to make like a tree and fuck off
Dr. Rubicante OoC: I still don't know how to cast magic. XD Can I have some practice casts? Like, OOC targetting dummies. XD
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Just use the ganger Ripper stuffed in the fridge.
Dr. Rubicante: Let's take the gangers with us! 8D Make them dump all their equipment in your trunk first. If they really just want to scare the lady, they've done their job and they're gonna get paid- but if they were paid to kill a woman and her child, well, sympathy is a privilege they do not have.
Anders "Hogfather" Lee: Fair enough, besides, they owe you for that free medical treatment
Dr. Rubicante: These medkits don't refill themselves, after all!