The Ascension of Pigman
The Day Z server that Ian was terrorising as the Pigman got shut down (Gee, I wonder why) but that has stopped his campaign of terror elsewhere. Plus he achieved apotheosis there by expanding his Sauron's tower into a one topped by wings built from thousands of oil barrels, and when somebody complained about the night, announced "Hold on, I'll fix it." and ignited the barrels.
True, the resulting firebird illuminated the entire map. It also crashed the server. The aggrieved admins did ask him why he did it, and he told them he wanted to be a sun god.
But that hasn't stopped him setting up shop on another server. There, one of the admins built an impregnable tower and got boastful, offering a case of gold to anybody that could kill him. Ian took that bet. As his chopper came over the hill, no doubt to the tune of 'Ride of the Valkyries', the admin started to wonder what he had hanging from a cable underneath. What he had was a tank, which Ian's friend was sitting in the turret of. After Ian flew round and round the admin's tower, tank blazing away, the admin tried to welch on the bet - after all, Ian had help. Ian accepted this, and came back with a boat on the towline. The resulting explosion when he dropped the boat on the tower wiped it off the map.
Ian then patiently explained that exploding boats made the biggest bangs in the game. Which further explained the boats people had been finding parked immovably across the doors of their bases. Ian had noted that such locked vehicles migrate slightly with each server reset, and sooner or later would intersect the base's walls. Whereupon he could unlock the boat, back off, and blow the entire building to kingdom come with one bullet. One of the other players didn't believe him. Ian demonstrated. Using that player's base. While he was trapped inside it by the boat parked across and into the door.
He's also abused in-game physics by blasting big craters at the bottom of enemy base's walls. The walls stay up, but now they're standing high enough above the new ground level that Ian can roll in underneath and go berserk. Or just fill the building with satchel charges and wait for the other team to come back.
One such group of victims: Oh no. I think I left the safe open.
Ian: Oh reeeeeaaaaly.
Ian then went back to the resulting crater, discovered that the safe was indeed open, tipped out all the contents, and to add insult to injury, ran off with the safe.
A combo of tanks and locked vehicles proved lucrative elsewhere too. One player wanted to know why Ian was singing 'Baby Got Back' and found him towing a line of cars behind a Russian T-1 tank. Which he proceeded to park and lock along a road at the bottom of a hill near his own base. This, Ian explained, was to force other vehicles to detour across the soft ground to either side of the traffic jam, or even better, get out of their own vehicles to try and steal the tank. While Ian was waiting up on the hill with a sniper rifle.
And he's found another game to brand with his own flavour of creative evil, too. It's a sandbox game called Space Engineers, where the players get to build with relatively near future technology. This has not stopped Ian taking the innocuous tech provided, and inventing a freaking railgun. A fleet of four other players that were innocently flying past had no idea what they were facing, even as it was turning to aim at them, since it didn't have an engine signature, or more importantly, a muzzle flash. They found out a fraction of a second later, when the projectile took out all four ships - plowing right through two and taking out the rest of the fleet with shrapnel.
He's also invented as Orky a ship as could be hoped for. He's given it gigantic metal jaws, gatling guns for eyes, a giant chainsaw for one arm, and a rocket flail for another. The chains of the latter spin around until they wrap around another ship, then the rockets on the end spiral in and blow the enemy ship in half. One of the other players wanted to know how he comes up with these ideas, given he's only been playing it a week. I put it down to evil genius myself.
One such example of genius was the mining claw, comprised mostly of ore processing devices. It takes most players days to break down asteroids into ore. This damn thing reduced an entire asteroid to rubble in under 30 seconds. He's going to add it to his ship - and use it on other ships. Quote the other player: "THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED"
Another player irritated him with repeated raids. Ian sent drones after him to locate his asteroid base, and when he came back from another raid found Ian's ship there cutting his asteroid in half with the chainsaw.
True, the resulting firebird illuminated the entire map. It also crashed the server. The aggrieved admins did ask him why he did it, and he told them he wanted to be a sun god.
But that hasn't stopped him setting up shop on another server. There, one of the admins built an impregnable tower and got boastful, offering a case of gold to anybody that could kill him. Ian took that bet. As his chopper came over the hill, no doubt to the tune of 'Ride of the Valkyries', the admin started to wonder what he had hanging from a cable underneath. What he had was a tank, which Ian's friend was sitting in the turret of. After Ian flew round and round the admin's tower, tank blazing away, the admin tried to welch on the bet - after all, Ian had help. Ian accepted this, and came back with a boat on the towline. The resulting explosion when he dropped the boat on the tower wiped it off the map.
Ian then patiently explained that exploding boats made the biggest bangs in the game. Which further explained the boats people had been finding parked immovably across the doors of their bases. Ian had noted that such locked vehicles migrate slightly with each server reset, and sooner or later would intersect the base's walls. Whereupon he could unlock the boat, back off, and blow the entire building to kingdom come with one bullet. One of the other players didn't believe him. Ian demonstrated. Using that player's base. While he was trapped inside it by the boat parked across and into the door.
He's also abused in-game physics by blasting big craters at the bottom of enemy base's walls. The walls stay up, but now they're standing high enough above the new ground level that Ian can roll in underneath and go berserk. Or just fill the building with satchel charges and wait for the other team to come back.
One such group of victims: Oh no. I think I left the safe open.
Ian: Oh reeeeeaaaaly.
Ian then went back to the resulting crater, discovered that the safe was indeed open, tipped out all the contents, and to add insult to injury, ran off with the safe.
A combo of tanks and locked vehicles proved lucrative elsewhere too. One player wanted to know why Ian was singing 'Baby Got Back' and found him towing a line of cars behind a Russian T-1 tank. Which he proceeded to park and lock along a road at the bottom of a hill near his own base. This, Ian explained, was to force other vehicles to detour across the soft ground to either side of the traffic jam, or even better, get out of their own vehicles to try and steal the tank. While Ian was waiting up on the hill with a sniper rifle.
And he's found another game to brand with his own flavour of creative evil, too. It's a sandbox game called Space Engineers, where the players get to build with relatively near future technology. This has not stopped Ian taking the innocuous tech provided, and inventing a freaking railgun. A fleet of four other players that were innocently flying past had no idea what they were facing, even as it was turning to aim at them, since it didn't have an engine signature, or more importantly, a muzzle flash. They found out a fraction of a second later, when the projectile took out all four ships - plowing right through two and taking out the rest of the fleet with shrapnel.
He's also invented as Orky a ship as could be hoped for. He's given it gigantic metal jaws, gatling guns for eyes, a giant chainsaw for one arm, and a rocket flail for another. The chains of the latter spin around until they wrap around another ship, then the rockets on the end spiral in and blow the enemy ship in half. One of the other players wanted to know how he comes up with these ideas, given he's only been playing it a week. I put it down to evil genius myself.
One such example of genius was the mining claw, comprised mostly of ore processing devices. It takes most players days to break down asteroids into ore. This damn thing reduced an entire asteroid to rubble in under 30 seconds. He's going to add it to his ship - and use it on other ships. Quote the other player: "THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED"
Another player irritated him with repeated raids. Ian sent drones after him to locate his asteroid base, and when he came back from another raid found Ian's ship there cutting his asteroid in half with the chainsaw.