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I decided that work drains my soul. I would reather live embarrasingly off of unemployment benefits than work here in this bullshit of a workplace, slaving away my energy and creativity. It's damn near depressing, seeing these people around me working; mid-life and sad looking, their only excitement coming from free pizza or popcorn during the workday. This is why I am working on getting myself fired, or "let go"... the endeavor officially started last week Thursday when I called myself into work so I could go to the doctor. I took the whole day, and it was bliss.
Again this Thursday I'm taking off at least half a day so I can see my therapist and have a talk, and then otherwise bum around. Maybe ride my bike over to Bayview and hit Luv Unlimited. It's strange how my fervent desire to be employed here has been replaced by a complete disregard for my position. It's definitely something new, TRYING to get fired... it's freeing. ha.
Evan and I had a talk yesterday about saving for a car. While it may be a nice idea, I don't know exactly how practical it is. I mean, we can barely take care of/feed the dog let alone fund any sort of major repairs on a car should it be needed. I mean, c'mon. How much would a car even be initially ? Total maybe... four grand? Yeah, OK Evan. Hey- maybe we can spot a Kia or something. $99 down, $99/mo. Ha.
Also, my initial reaction was kind of a silence when he stated the idea- in one moment it was all, "Aww, you love me so much, you want to do this pretty big investment with me." And then it turned to "Wait, what if we break up? What would happen to the car? and then it was "Is he just using me for financial backing? UGH. whatever. A) Being a couple sucks. B) Thinking too much.
I have this cough that pretty much sounds like death. It's the Whoop! Plauge!! Unclean!
I saw Johnson the other day. He's pretty much the cutest thing ever, as usual. It was nice and made me think back to a couple summers ago when it was just friends, sitting on the lawn of the 2122, having rummage sales, drinkin and the like. Tamara and McGillicuddy's, Johnson in high heels and a coon-skin cap, Spike's morgue stories, Tom and his rat who's name I fail to remember, Jason puking by the side of the house, Nicole as "Deck", the lake visit. Aww, sad.
In a lapse of my better judement, I went to see Slither while Evan was working all day Saturday. Some points:
-Complete waste of $7.50
-Really, really disturbing/fucked up in points, which no one wants to see. (No, really-- really fucked up.)
-Not funny, altough I think it was trying to acheive the "campy" factor. Still, no excuse.
-Every other word was a swear word. Now, I'm can appreciate the well-placed "Fuck", I do, but when it's incorporated into some cheaply composed dialouge between two expendable characters, it's deplorable.
-Atrocious storyline. Come now: Alien drone slugs that, when inhabiting your brain via burrowing through your mouth, turn you into acid-spitting zombies??
Which reminds me. Something people might not know-- I have a weakness for campy zombie flicks. (See: Not Slither. Note: 28 Days later, Shawn of the Dead.) I get so into them, and giggle too much.
Dog Update: Tilly, I think, has finally gotten over whaterver illness she had had. It was pretty aggravating, getting up in the morning and having to cleaning up dog diarreha. (I know it's misspelled.) Gross. She was losing weight and smelling bad which, by my standards, is never good- but she's filled out again and acheived her previous doggie skin rolls. And she's back to nipping me (but not Evan)... which is... her. I want to convince Evan to get another dog. I think it's sad that she's by herself alot, and she loveslovesloves playing with the other dogs in the park. Tilly needs a friend.
These are some questions off of Neil Gaiman's website (Favorite author. Dork Factor: 20 pts.) that he had answered for The Guardian Q&A. I thought I'd delete his answers from some selected ones and answer them myself since some of them were intriguing.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Gliding over a smooth patch of road on a bicycle in the summertime.
3. Which living person do you most admire and why?
English teacher I had, Dylan Dryer, because I was facinated by the way he thought. He'd ask questions in such a way that made your brain get bigger.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Insecurity.
5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Self-induced ingnorance, i.e. close-minded-ness.
8. What is your greatest extravagance?
A black beaded dress that I bought, that at the time, cost as much as my rent.
9. What is your most treasured possession?
A copy of Anansi Boys signed by Neil Gaiman or my new bike.
11. What makes you depressed?
Failure, and/or Losing.
12. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Weight, just like the rest of the US
13. Who would play you in a movie of your life?
Easy. Natalie Portman.
15. What is your favourite smell?
The Autumn Smell
16. What is your favourite word? (THIS ISN'T MY RESPONSE, BUT I LOVED NEIL'S-- SO HIS GOES HERE)
"Claptrap" -- ever since I discovered that it didn't just mean Nonsense, but the things that politicians and others say that mean little or nothing but get automatic, unthinking applause.
20. Cat or dog?
Dogs by default. I'm allergic to cats.
22. What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Paper toilet seat covers, and dessert.
27. Have you ever said "I love you" without meaning it?
I'm sure I have, in my "younger" days.
29. What has been your biggest disappointment?
Dropping school.
31. When and where were you happiest?
The aforementioned summer.
32. When did you last cry, and why?
Maybe a couple weeks ago? Last month? Stress.
33. How do you relax?
By moving: walking the dog, getting out.
36. What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
More financial stability, but at the same time it gives my life more immediate signifigance, and appreciation.
37. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My current relationship, dealing with Anxiety is pretty big.
38. What keeps you awake at night?
Worry, sometimes.
41. What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That relationships between individuals are difficult but imperitive to maintain.
Ok. So ends the Longest Post Ever.
Again this Thursday I'm taking off at least half a day so I can see my therapist and have a talk, and then otherwise bum around. Maybe ride my bike over to Bayview and hit Luv Unlimited. It's strange how my fervent desire to be employed here has been replaced by a complete disregard for my position. It's definitely something new, TRYING to get fired... it's freeing. ha.
Evan and I had a talk yesterday about saving for a car. While it may be a nice idea, I don't know exactly how practical it is. I mean, we can barely take care of/feed the dog let alone fund any sort of major repairs on a car should it be needed. I mean, c'mon. How much would a car even be initially ? Total maybe... four grand? Yeah, OK Evan. Hey- maybe we can spot a Kia or something. $99 down, $99/mo. Ha.
Also, my initial reaction was kind of a silence when he stated the idea- in one moment it was all, "Aww, you love me so much, you want to do this pretty big investment with me." And then it turned to "Wait, what if we break up? What would happen to the car? and then it was "Is he just using me for financial backing? UGH. whatever. A) Being a couple sucks. B) Thinking too much.
I have this cough that pretty much sounds like death. It's the Whoop! Plauge!! Unclean!
I saw Johnson the other day. He's pretty much the cutest thing ever, as usual. It was nice and made me think back to a couple summers ago when it was just friends, sitting on the lawn of the 2122, having rummage sales, drinkin and the like. Tamara and McGillicuddy's, Johnson in high heels and a coon-skin cap, Spike's morgue stories, Tom and his rat who's name I fail to remember, Jason puking by the side of the house, Nicole as "Deck", the lake visit. Aww, sad.
In a lapse of my better judement, I went to see Slither while Evan was working all day Saturday. Some points:
-Complete waste of $7.50
-Really, really disturbing/fucked up in points, which no one wants to see. (No, really-- really fucked up.)
-Not funny, altough I think it was trying to acheive the "campy" factor. Still, no excuse.
-Every other word was a swear word. Now, I'm can appreciate the well-placed "Fuck", I do, but when it's incorporated into some cheaply composed dialouge between two expendable characters, it's deplorable.
-Atrocious storyline. Come now: Alien drone slugs that, when inhabiting your brain via burrowing through your mouth, turn you into acid-spitting zombies??
Which reminds me. Something people might not know-- I have a weakness for campy zombie flicks. (See: Not Slither. Note: 28 Days later, Shawn of the Dead.) I get so into them, and giggle too much.
Dog Update: Tilly, I think, has finally gotten over whaterver illness she had had. It was pretty aggravating, getting up in the morning and having to cleaning up dog diarreha. (I know it's misspelled.) Gross. She was losing weight and smelling bad which, by my standards, is never good- but she's filled out again and acheived her previous doggie skin rolls. And she's back to nipping me (but not Evan)... which is... her. I want to convince Evan to get another dog. I think it's sad that she's by herself alot, and she loveslovesloves playing with the other dogs in the park. Tilly needs a friend.
These are some questions off of Neil Gaiman's website (Favorite author. Dork Factor: 20 pts.) that he had answered for The Guardian Q&A. I thought I'd delete his answers from some selected ones and answer them myself since some of them were intriguing.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Gliding over a smooth patch of road on a bicycle in the summertime.
3. Which living person do you most admire and why?
English teacher I had, Dylan Dryer, because I was facinated by the way he thought. He'd ask questions in such a way that made your brain get bigger.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Insecurity.
5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Self-induced ingnorance, i.e. close-minded-ness.
8. What is your greatest extravagance?
A black beaded dress that I bought, that at the time, cost as much as my rent.
9. What is your most treasured possession?
A copy of Anansi Boys signed by Neil Gaiman or my new bike.
11. What makes you depressed?
Failure, and/or Losing.
12. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Weight, just like the rest of the US
13. Who would play you in a movie of your life?
Easy. Natalie Portman.
15. What is your favourite smell?
The Autumn Smell
16. What is your favourite word? (THIS ISN'T MY RESPONSE, BUT I LOVED NEIL'S-- SO HIS GOES HERE)
"Claptrap" -- ever since I discovered that it didn't just mean Nonsense, but the things that politicians and others say that mean little or nothing but get automatic, unthinking applause.
20. Cat or dog?
Dogs by default. I'm allergic to cats.
22. What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Paper toilet seat covers, and dessert.
27. Have you ever said "I love you" without meaning it?
I'm sure I have, in my "younger" days.
29. What has been your biggest disappointment?
Dropping school.
31. When and where were you happiest?
The aforementioned summer.
32. When did you last cry, and why?
Maybe a couple weeks ago? Last month? Stress.
33. How do you relax?
By moving: walking the dog, getting out.
36. What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
More financial stability, but at the same time it gives my life more immediate signifigance, and appreciation.
37. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My current relationship, dealing with Anxiety is pretty big.
38. What keeps you awake at night?
Worry, sometimes.
41. What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That relationships between individuals are difficult but imperitive to maintain.
Ok. So ends the Longest Post Ever.