New Cleaning Philosophy
A while back I was over at a friends house for a party. I needed to go to the bathroom and the one designated for public use was occupied. I was informed of another in a different part of the house. Passing through the closed door it was obvious that the inhabitants had not prepared this part of the house to be viewed by the public (much like my own room is usually left a mess during frenzied pre-party cleaning). I found the bathroom and was immediately uncomfortable. It was quite messy. I told myself that none of the mess was anything that would affect me in anyway yet, when I heard a flush from upstairs, I decided to simply leave and use the other one.
Sometime after this, I walked into my own bathroom and realized that it was no cleaner than the one I had refused to use. This made me take a long, hard look around my house. If it wasn't MY house, would I be comfortable hanging out here?
Andrew and I have always loved being the social center of the group. So now, when I think in terms of cleaning, that is what I keep in mind. I'm not cleaning for myself, because there are always things I would prioritize more (like a nap). And I'm not cleaning for Andrew, because his standard of how clean a place should be is so subjective (when we first moved in together he complained I was keeping things too clean). The new standard is, if I were a stranger and I walked in here, would it gross me out to stay? As a new mom whose sanity and social contact is ENTIRELY dependent on people being willing to come to me (I have no car), this is a concern I can prioritize.
It's also an approach that gives a clear starting point. Instead of walking into the kitchen and noticing how everything is dirty, and it all needs to be cleaned, but does it need to be cleaned more than the living room - not to mention the stuff that's accumulated in the hallway carpet (etc, etc) ... Instead of that, I can imagine myself walking into the house and asking my question "As a stranger, do I feel uncomfortable here?" If the answer is yes, then the next question is "What is the first thing I notice that grosses me out?" Then I clean that. And possibly just that. Sometimes, with the baby, I might not be able to do more that sweep the 6 square feet from the front door to the hall. However, if that was, in that moment, the grossest part of my house, then that 6 feet IS an accomplishment and was worth doing even if its all I get done.
I've only been taking this approach for a week or so now, but so far it seems to be working better than anything else I've tried. A weekly chore chart just won't work with Aiden as I may or may not be able to dedicate a large chunk of time to a chore. Neither will counting on Andrew to be home at a certain time to take over while I try that 20 mins a day cleaning plan. If something breaks with the servers at seven, he's not gonna make it home by nine. Even if he does, then he's going to be home and working, which doesn't really help. But my new approach lets me prioritize cleaning tasks as I have time, and lets them be small enough to be manageable. I hope it works long term - and then I get more visitors as a result.
Sometime after this, I walked into my own bathroom and realized that it was no cleaner than the one I had refused to use. This made me take a long, hard look around my house. If it wasn't MY house, would I be comfortable hanging out here?
Andrew and I have always loved being the social center of the group. So now, when I think in terms of cleaning, that is what I keep in mind. I'm not cleaning for myself, because there are always things I would prioritize more (like a nap). And I'm not cleaning for Andrew, because his standard of how clean a place should be is so subjective (when we first moved in together he complained I was keeping things too clean). The new standard is, if I were a stranger and I walked in here, would it gross me out to stay? As a new mom whose sanity and social contact is ENTIRELY dependent on people being willing to come to me (I have no car), this is a concern I can prioritize.
It's also an approach that gives a clear starting point. Instead of walking into the kitchen and noticing how everything is dirty, and it all needs to be cleaned, but does it need to be cleaned more than the living room - not to mention the stuff that's accumulated in the hallway carpet (etc, etc) ... Instead of that, I can imagine myself walking into the house and asking my question "As a stranger, do I feel uncomfortable here?" If the answer is yes, then the next question is "What is the first thing I notice that grosses me out?" Then I clean that. And possibly just that. Sometimes, with the baby, I might not be able to do more that sweep the 6 square feet from the front door to the hall. However, if that was, in that moment, the grossest part of my house, then that 6 feet IS an accomplishment and was worth doing even if its all I get done.
I've only been taking this approach for a week or so now, but so far it seems to be working better than anything else I've tried. A weekly chore chart just won't work with Aiden as I may or may not be able to dedicate a large chunk of time to a chore. Neither will counting on Andrew to be home at a certain time to take over while I try that 20 mins a day cleaning plan. If something breaks with the servers at seven, he's not gonna make it home by nine. Even if he does, then he's going to be home and working, which doesn't really help. But my new approach lets me prioritize cleaning tasks as I have time, and lets them be small enough to be manageable. I hope it works long term - and then I get more visitors as a result.