What is my X Factor?
So I watched the first part of the X Factor tonight/last night. Out of curiosity, I told myself. I haven't watched any of it for years, but I wanted to see the kind of people that come up in the initial auditions. I thought back to my Pop Idol audition (oh yeah, I did a Pop Idol audition) and I wondered if I'd try again now. My problem back then was I was trying to fit in when I should have been trying to stand out. Not a problem I have now.
I'm blogging this now because I've been lying awake for the last two hours thinking. Wondering what I'd sing, what I'd wear, what I'd say when they ask me "what my dream is." And I wish I had a dream right now. All I know for certain is I want more than being an engineer. Being an engineer does not excite me all that much. Truth be told, I've kind of lost my mojo about this getting a job thing - I don't feel qualified to do anything, least of all engineering.
I love singing. I was playing Rock Band 2 at number 29 on Friday, and a guy told me that "I had talent," as if I'd never sung before and he'd suddenly stumbled upon the fact that I'm good at it. Dave said when I mentioned it "we all know you can sing, I guess it would come as a surprise because he's never heard you before." Singing makes me feel actually, properly alive. I love it so much. But because I'm only "good at it" I feel that it's unlikely I'm going to make a career out of it. That makes me sad.
What am I good at though? I've got a degree in engineering, but that doesn't make me good at it. I've written most of a novel, but that doesn't make me good at it. I might get better if I did more of either of these things, but sitting on my arse at 5am wondering why I'm not any better isn't exactly the most positive step in this direction.
In case you were wondering, I think I'd sing something by Katy Perry or Gwen Stefani. Because both of them are really unique artists and they sing pretty challenging songs within my range that I'd be able to show off with.
I'm blogging this now because I've been lying awake for the last two hours thinking. Wondering what I'd sing, what I'd wear, what I'd say when they ask me "what my dream is." And I wish I had a dream right now. All I know for certain is I want more than being an engineer. Being an engineer does not excite me all that much. Truth be told, I've kind of lost my mojo about this getting a job thing - I don't feel qualified to do anything, least of all engineering.
I love singing. I was playing Rock Band 2 at number 29 on Friday, and a guy told me that "I had talent," as if I'd never sung before and he'd suddenly stumbled upon the fact that I'm good at it. Dave said when I mentioned it "we all know you can sing, I guess it would come as a surprise because he's never heard you before." Singing makes me feel actually, properly alive. I love it so much. But because I'm only "good at it" I feel that it's unlikely I'm going to make a career out of it. That makes me sad.
What am I good at though? I've got a degree in engineering, but that doesn't make me good at it. I've written most of a novel, but that doesn't make me good at it. I might get better if I did more of either of these things, but sitting on my arse at 5am wondering why I'm not any better isn't exactly the most positive step in this direction.
In case you were wondering, I think I'd sing something by Katy Perry or Gwen Stefani. Because both of them are really unique artists and they sing pretty challenging songs within my range that I'd be able to show off with.