Falling into Place
Everything's starting to fall in place for me. I guess staying at my tita's home, being able to look at a wonderful view of the hills of antipolo helped try to work out the workings of my mind. My seatmate in school texted me the other day wondering why I haven't been attending my classes. Its really touching, because no one has expressed concern to me like that before. Most of my classmates in school don't like him because he's mayabang daw, but I'm starting to see a side of him that people seem to misunderstand. I told him my story, though making the characters anonymous out of respect to those people, then he told me that I really should learn how compartmentalize my life. Especially doing all the stuff I had to do: Medschool, management, Scope articles, GCF Worship team, Trying stupidly to learn how to play the harmonica, all the books i want to read, Surgical Society Med Missions, helping my sister sell those overpriced hand sanitizers and taking care of my grandparents - i cannot afford breaking down as a whole when one part of my life isn't going so well. I know it may not be a Christian advice, I realized that its a very practical one.
I have been eating a LOT. I bought new pants during the summer, they won't fit anymore ._. I feel so sad. I have to save up for clothes again. I need to stop eating a lot, especially that I also need to save up money. Christmas is coming soon and I want to give something to people out of my own pocket rather than asking for my parents for money. I wonder how this Christmas would be. Last year I had a wonderful time, with the visits to Saki's house (i think it was a whole day thing ending with hanging out at Jon's and me sleeping over i think), being able to spend time with my family, also ending with Najee's FriBS B-day celebration on January 2. Fun Fun. Gosh, i wonder how this Christmas will go. I guess maybe that's the beauty of Christmas sometimes, every year it offers something different. Something I noticed though about Christmas is that as you get older, it actually gets shorter. I remember before, November palang there's decorations na, now its December already and there are not Christmas lights outside the house. Or probably its because the electricity bill keeps on rising, I'm not sure.
I know I haven't been going to GCF for the past few weeks. I'm still afraid of how I would feel when I see a particular person. But I'm feeling a lot better don't worry. And I still do love that person and I'm sure that person loves me the way Christ taught us how to love. Everything is starting to fall in place for me. I know everything will be okay at some point, I just don't know when =) Don't worry I don't think I'm backsliding. I just needed some time to really refocus my life and have that relationship with God outside of being in church. Its still a work in progress, but hey aren't we all? I might start attending FriBS (might be changed to monday after talking with Sean), Dawn Prayers, and Youth Services again soon. I'm also contemplating whether or not i want to join missions (because it might be great for me because it is somewhat related to the stuff i learn in school). Because of my ever growing belly (i'm not pregnant don't worry), i might ask P.Api if ever i could play in the college basketball ministry too.
I have been eating a LOT. I bought new pants during the summer, they won't fit anymore ._. I feel so sad. I have to save up for clothes again. I need to stop eating a lot, especially that I also need to save up money. Christmas is coming soon and I want to give something to people out of my own pocket rather than asking for my parents for money. I wonder how this Christmas would be. Last year I had a wonderful time, with the visits to Saki's house (i think it was a whole day thing ending with hanging out at Jon's and me sleeping over i think), being able to spend time with my family, also ending with Najee's FriBS B-day celebration on January 2. Fun Fun. Gosh, i wonder how this Christmas will go. I guess maybe that's the beauty of Christmas sometimes, every year it offers something different. Something I noticed though about Christmas is that as you get older, it actually gets shorter. I remember before, November palang there's decorations na, now its December already and there are not Christmas lights outside the house. Or probably its because the electricity bill keeps on rising, I'm not sure.
I know I haven't been going to GCF for the past few weeks. I'm still afraid of how I would feel when I see a particular person. But I'm feeling a lot better don't worry. And I still do love that person and I'm sure that person loves me the way Christ taught us how to love. Everything is starting to fall in place for me. I know everything will be okay at some point, I just don't know when =) Don't worry I don't think I'm backsliding. I just needed some time to really refocus my life and have that relationship with God outside of being in church. Its still a work in progress, but hey aren't we all? I might start attending FriBS (might be changed to monday after talking with Sean), Dawn Prayers, and Youth Services again soon. I'm also contemplating whether or not i want to join missions (because it might be great for me because it is somewhat related to the stuff i learn in school). Because of my ever growing belly (i'm not pregnant don't worry), i might ask P.Api if ever i could play in the college basketball ministry too.