Pissed Off
Am I crazy?
Has the paradigm shifted and normal morning behavior changed?
Because UGA has the most fucked up dorm bathroom maintenance that I have EVER seen.
Every day I wake up at 8:30. I lay in bed for a maximum of five minutes to collect my thoughts and figure out what I need to do to get ready for classes so that I can make them on time. I am a simple man with simple wishes.
The first thing I notice when I wake up is that my head feels like it has been soaking all night in a vat of cooking oil. Because my hair feels greasy I realize I should take a shower to remedy the situation. At least once a week I walk the five steps from my room to take a shower only to find that the cleaning crew has closed the bathrooms... for cleaning... at 8:45AM... when normal people NEED showers to get ready for the fucking day.
Look Cleaning People, I don't want to wake up at 8:30 every day, in fact I hate doing so, but for the love of Humanity stop making my hellacious mornings even shittier. My message to whomever is in charge of scheduling the bathroom cleanup is simple.
IF YOU DO NOT STOP SCHEDULING THE BATHROOMS TO BE CLEANED IN THE FUCKING MORNING WHEN PEOPLE FUCKING NEED TO FUCKING CLEANSE THEIR FILTHY FUCKING BODIES, I WILL EVISCERATE YOU.
Today something happened that enraged me further.
I read a notice last night when I entered the dorms that said something to the effect of: DEAR RESIDENTS, THE HILL COMMUNITY WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF 9/12 AT 10AM TO TEST WATER PRESSURE.
Now let me explain even further why this water pressure test is needed in the first place.
On the days that I am actually allowed to shower, the pressure of water fluctuates every 5 seconds for no apparent reason. Sometimes the pressure drops when someone flushes a toliet, sometimes it drops when someone turns on another shower, sometimes it drops for, well, no fucking reason. Sometimes not so much.
So after reading this flyer I thought, "Yay, something will be done about the shower pressure and it won't even affect me because I have an early class tomorrow. However, that surely sucks for those who have class at 10:10 because they might be without showers. I wonder why UGA would schedule a water pressure test at that time?"
This morning my routine was normal. I woke up, got out of bed, made my way to the showers. I went to the first shower and turned the hot water... nothing. "Oh shit," I thought, "this shower is broken." Such was my naivete`, unable as I was to accept that UGA had once again dicked me right the fuck over. So I went to the next shower and tried to turn it on because I was just not ready to believe that the FUCKING SIGN THEY HAD FUCKING POSTED TO FUCKING INFORM ME OF WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO FUCKING DO was a goddamn dirty lie and that they had turned the water off no later than 8:25. YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LIARS!
Unfortunately it doesn't end there. Just because I was told that the water was off doesn't mean that my body would accomodate; so naturally I had to tinkle.
I walked over to the toliets and what I saw horrified me.
The first toliet was half full of piss, a mixture of piss, as several men unable to curb the tinkle were forced to pee one after the other without flushing and creating an odour so fowl it brought tears to my eyes.
The second toliet was a more malodorous version of toliet numero uno, as was toliet 3.
The last two toliets however, had shit in them.
WHY WHY WHY-WHY-WHY was I forced to wallow in shit at 8:45 in the goddamn morning UGA!? Why did you lie to me under the guise of an informative and helpful flyer?! Why is the water still off after two hours?! I'm still greasy!
And that is why I hate Mondays.
Has the paradigm shifted and normal morning behavior changed?
Because UGA has the most fucked up dorm bathroom maintenance that I have EVER seen.
Every day I wake up at 8:30. I lay in bed for a maximum of five minutes to collect my thoughts and figure out what I need to do to get ready for classes so that I can make them on time. I am a simple man with simple wishes.
The first thing I notice when I wake up is that my head feels like it has been soaking all night in a vat of cooking oil. Because my hair feels greasy I realize I should take a shower to remedy the situation. At least once a week I walk the five steps from my room to take a shower only to find that the cleaning crew has closed the bathrooms... for cleaning... at 8:45AM... when normal people NEED showers to get ready for the fucking day.
Look Cleaning People, I don't want to wake up at 8:30 every day, in fact I hate doing so, but for the love of Humanity stop making my hellacious mornings even shittier. My message to whomever is in charge of scheduling the bathroom cleanup is simple.
IF YOU DO NOT STOP SCHEDULING THE BATHROOMS TO BE CLEANED IN THE FUCKING MORNING WHEN PEOPLE FUCKING NEED TO FUCKING CLEANSE THEIR FILTHY FUCKING BODIES, I WILL EVISCERATE YOU.
Today something happened that enraged me further.
I read a notice last night when I entered the dorms that said something to the effect of: DEAR RESIDENTS, THE HILL COMMUNITY WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF 9/12 AT 10AM TO TEST WATER PRESSURE.
Now let me explain even further why this water pressure test is needed in the first place.
On the days that I am actually allowed to shower, the pressure of water fluctuates every 5 seconds for no apparent reason. Sometimes the pressure drops when someone flushes a toliet, sometimes it drops when someone turns on another shower, sometimes it drops for, well, no fucking reason. Sometimes not so much.
So after reading this flyer I thought, "Yay, something will be done about the shower pressure and it won't even affect me because I have an early class tomorrow. However, that surely sucks for those who have class at 10:10 because they might be without showers. I wonder why UGA would schedule a water pressure test at that time?"
This morning my routine was normal. I woke up, got out of bed, made my way to the showers. I went to the first shower and turned the hot water... nothing. "Oh shit," I thought, "this shower is broken." Such was my naivete`, unable as I was to accept that UGA had once again dicked me right the fuck over. So I went to the next shower and tried to turn it on because I was just not ready to believe that the FUCKING SIGN THEY HAD FUCKING POSTED TO FUCKING INFORM ME OF WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO FUCKING DO was a goddamn dirty lie and that they had turned the water off no later than 8:25. YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LIARS!
Unfortunately it doesn't end there. Just because I was told that the water was off doesn't mean that my body would accomodate; so naturally I had to tinkle.
I walked over to the toliets and what I saw horrified me.
The first toliet was half full of piss, a mixture of piss, as several men unable to curb the tinkle were forced to pee one after the other without flushing and creating an odour so fowl it brought tears to my eyes.
The second toliet was a more malodorous version of toliet numero uno, as was toliet 3.
The last two toliets however, had shit in them.
WHY WHY WHY-WHY-WHY was I forced to wallow in shit at 8:45 in the goddamn morning UGA!? Why did you lie to me under the guise of an informative and helpful flyer?! Why is the water still off after two hours?! I'm still greasy!
And that is why I hate Mondays.