Captain's Log: Star Date ...um.... 10.
Wow, I'm not even going to look at the last time I posted here. I'm sure it was years and years ago. If you follow alswaiter, you may have seen bits and pieces of my life. I'll try to fill you in a bit more.
In October of 2008, Ruggy was experiencing a high level of stress at work. The environment was very toxic - emotionally, not literally. Backstabbing, ladder-climbing and bad-mouthing were at an all-time high, morale and morality at all-time lows. He was moody, withdrawn and tired all the time - so not the man I married. He started seriously looking for a new job. Seeing one in the same field, with better chances for advancement, he fixed up his resume and applied, fully expecting them to call him up shortly, as he met all their criteria, and then some. Nothing. Not a single word. His brother (who had also applied, but with fewer criteria met) got a job offer, and Ruggy was puzzled, but resigned. God didn't want him to go.
It was two years ago, today, that Beanie took the first seizure we witnessed (although I have good reason to believe it was, at least, her second). That was one of the scariest moments of my life. I knew what was happening, and what to do in the moment, but couldn't help her. To this day, I thank God we had a good friend visiting. As a St. John's First Aid Responder, her first reaction is to call 9-1-1; mine is not. Thanks to her quick thinking, she was speaking with the dispatcher while Beanie was still seizing and the ambulance arrived within 5 minutes.
Why is it, whenever something truly serious occurs, Ruggy's at work? True, he should have been home within 30 minutes, but still. He missed it. Again. ...He's kind of like the Polkaroo, in that sense. Anyways, I called him at work, got the switchboard, was told he wasn't near a phone, and could they get a message to him? Yes, please. The message, word for word was, "The ambulance is on its way. We're taking Beanie to the hospital." After a beat of silence, the voice on the other end said, "I'll track him down for you." Thank you.
Anyhoo, he came on the line, I gave him details, and he promised to get home as soon as possible. I hung up, leaving Beanie in the capable hands of my friend, and went in search of health cards, keys, jackets and other things we'd need for the hospital. He made it home just as they were bundling her up in a blanket and taking her to the waiting ambulance. She calmed visibly (not that she was agitated before, but her BP lowered to a much more comfortable rate) when she saw him, and we agreed he could go with her. I'd follow in the car with family friend and Pinnie. Thankfully, family friend drove and I started phoning family to ask for prayer and to notify them.
To make a long story short, she experienced a febrile (fever induced) seizure. Usually harmless, although scary to live through. She should out-grow it by the time she's seven (she was barely four at the time). We got home late, tired and I was feeling very unwell. Turns out I was fighting something, and we hadn't eaten supper yet. My plan had been to reheat a casserole and then give Beanie a bath to cool her off - I knew she'd been on-and-off feverish for a few days, and an after-supper bath had become routine... we just.. didn't make it that far.
Our plan for New Year's Day was to do absolutely nothing. I was going to sleep until hunger drove me from my bed, then I was going to spend all day in my PJ's, watching movies with my girls and our friend. Ruggy, thanks to my phone call the night before, had been given the day off, so his plans were remarkably similar to my own. He fell out of bed sometime after 8 and gathered the girls for breakfast. I rolled over, enjoying the entire bed. About fifteen minutes later, he was shaking my foot. I looked up, and he said, "Angie*'s left messages. She's really upset. She needs out, and I'm going to pick her up." There went my lazy morning. Ok, I was up.
(*Name changed to protect privacy)
To understand this, you need to back up even farther, to the summer. I first met Angie at a candle party, hosted by my best friend. I liked Angie. She was funny, she enjoyed the same TV shows and movies, got some of my more obscure movie references. In short, we hit it off. Add to that we both had two little girls and loved to scrapbook and voila. Insta-friend. I found out she had left a dangerous marriage for the sake of her girls and was living with her parents. Having lived with my own in-laws, I empathized with her on the difficulties of moving home again while at the same time having free babysitting. Over the course of summer and fall, we got together a few times at my house to scrapbook with a few other girlfriends. Without her ever really complaining, I got the impression that her parents were rather difficult to live with, and fairly demanding. More than once, I offered her the use of our recently finished basement, if she ever found they were too much for her. I never really expected her to take me up on it, but I am glad she did. Fast forward to New Year's Day.
Ruggy went to get her, I got up, made the bed, got dressed and staggered downstairs for tea and to do the dishes. We were adding three more people to a house that had just survived Christmas and wasn't really ready for another invasion just yet.
Angie and her two girls moved in and lived with us until May. Her daughters were adorable, and I love them. It was not easy. For two of those months, I was very ill myself with a sinus infection and (I can't remember, but I think I also had) walking pneumonia again, on top of the usual pain from arthritis and sciatica. Both of my girls had symptom-free double ear infections we only discovered after the fact when we finally got in with a nurse practitioner (GPs being very hard to come by in the boonies). Angie was at the lowest point of her life. Having people in her face all the time, with no space to really call her own, other than the bedroom in the basement must have been so very hard for her. I was too caught up in my own issues to really sympathize, though, at the time, I thought I was doing pretty well. We saw her at her worst, and she saw us at ours. I will be honest, it was, at times, difficult to have two different parenting styles, and there were personality clashes as well as disagreements, but, on the whole, we managed fairly well, and when it was over, we did part as friends still. (Another working of God!)
Ruggy's work situation had not improved to any degree and so when the posting he had seen before Christmas was up again, he revamped his application and sent it off again. This time, he got a call back and was offered the job! The course would start the end of August. It was now April. We had just under 4 months to fix up our house, find a new one and move. It wasn't a small move, either, it was 5 hours away.
First things first, though. Angie would have to move out. As much as we hated to do it, we had to work on the house, and we couldn't do it with her and the girls occupying the basement. I knew she was scared. She had been apartment hunting for months and been told there was nothing available, and certainly nothing soon. We all prayed, and she called one place she had already told had a 12-month waiting list. Imagine our delight when she was told there was a 2-bedroom townhouse needing a sublet, starting in May. In a week! All they needed to do was paint and install baby gates for her! Praise God for His timing!
Angie moved out and we started working on the house. When I say 'we', I really mean Ruggy, my mother, and his father. They painted, put in shelving units, painted, installed new lights everywhere, fixed our upstairs bathroom. I cleaned, de-cluttered, packed and tried to keep everything somewhat organized and half-normal.
(Looking back, we now know why Ruggy didn't get the job the first time. God needed us to stay for Angie and her girls. No one else we knew had the space to let her move out of her parents' home.)
When everything was ready, we phoned the agent that had helped us purchase the house. The sign was on the lawn an hour and we had a booking. By the next day, we had accepted an offer, at our asking price. Wow. When God moves, He moves!
And so started a series of trips to the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) to look for a house. Our list of requirements wasn't unreasonable on paper, but it seemed to be impossible to find 3-bedroom house with a bit of yard and a garage, that did not require it to be completely gutted and rebuilt from the studs out. We just could not afford that. We began to entertain all sorts of alternate plans. Maybe the sale of our house would fall through - we were waiting on the sale of their house in New Brunswick - and then I could stay there until we found something. Or, the girls and I could move to Ottawa, live with my parents, the girls could go to school, Ruggy could stay with his brother (who would be working at the same place). Ruggy hated that idea. We expanded our search parameters, lowered our expectations and kept looking. Nothing. With six weeks till his job started, the stress was starting to take its toll. Neither of us were sleeping well, and we ate only when we fed the kids, not because we were hungry. After much prayer, we decided to rent for a year, to take the pressure off. Great. That felt like the right answer... Now, all we had to do was find a rental that would fit all our furniture - I was not going to pay rent *and* storage fees.
Again, God's timing. We found a decent enough house in a good neighbourhood with enough time to get there and unpack for a few days before he had to start the new job and a week or so before school started.
I'll skim over the school year:
Beanie, in SK, was doing very well. She makes friends everywhere she goes and loves everybody. She had her moments of homesickness, but as a whole, as long as the family was together, she was content.
Pinnie, in grade 4, had a rough year. She's a year younger than the kids in her grade, and she was in a 4/5 split. Through it all, her self confidence took a beating and she started to erect a hard shell to protect herself. Having been through that exact situation, I knew what was happening, but was powerless to help her. I watched as my happy-go-lucky little girl became sullen and withdrawn, snarky and overly sensitive. At the same time, she was excelling in school, and I pushed to have her tested for 'Giftedness'. I am so glad I did. She's off the charts, and because of that, qualified to attend any one of four schools with a gifted class in the area.
Armed with this knowledge, I phoned the school boards and collected maps of the 'pull zones' for each of the schools with the gifted track. We decided we would move into one of those, so both girls would attend the same school without the complications of variances or buses.
In March, chandica was visiting with her family. She and I had made an appointment with our real estate agent to go house hunting. Short version, we found it.
We got the keys in June of this year (2010) and started renovations. We worked all summer and moved in mid-August.
Now, both girls are loving school and are enjoying not having to take the bus to and from school, as that's where some of the problem children were. Pinnie has made a fresh start in grade 5, the chip on her shoulder is gone, although I think she will always retain a bit of the over-sensitivity. They have made new friends and play well with each other, again. Beanie seems to be everyone's friend in grade 1 and is starting to read chapter books meant for 7-9 year olds.
All three of us do highland dancing and the girls are working on swimming lessons. I've participated in (and won!) NaNoWriMo two years running, working on the same story. I have dreams of actually seeing it published. I've yet to see this type of work and really think it has possibilities. Granted, it still needs years of work to get to that point. I'll let you know if and when I get there!
Ruggy's enjoying his new job, the new guys he's working with and the entire situation. He likes the area, as it's closer to his extended family and his own parents have expressed an interest in moving to the area - to be closer to their own aging parents.
I still have moments of homesickness for the Boonies. I miss the open spaces, the dark night skies - free of city light-wash, and the small town feel. Most of all, I miss the people. I miss chandica and her family (although we speak often by phone and any other method that occurs to us!), I miss my old church and all the friends we had to leave behind. Yes, we have a truly wonderful church here and I love it. I've made new friends that are helping to make the transition easier, but at times, I just feel sad. I loved my home there. I like this one. Do I love it yet? I don't know. There's still so much left to do to it that all I see are projects, and piles of *stuff*. Maybe my house just needs to be filled with more people I love. Then, this house, like the last one, will be filled with memories. Just... not yet, I'm all peopled out from Christmas!
If anyone's still reading: "Hi, thanks for sticking around. Want some fruitcake?"
To make a long story slightly longer, we're all still here, two years older, 400-some km closer to the CN Tower, alive and kicking. I'm sure I've forgotten a lot, and those things may or may not be the topics of future posts. In the mean time...
Belated Merry Christmas, Happy New Year! From my house to yours: May you experience God's richest blessings in 2011.
In October of 2008, Ruggy was experiencing a high level of stress at work. The environment was very toxic - emotionally, not literally. Backstabbing, ladder-climbing and bad-mouthing were at an all-time high, morale and morality at all-time lows. He was moody, withdrawn and tired all the time - so not the man I married. He started seriously looking for a new job. Seeing one in the same field, with better chances for advancement, he fixed up his resume and applied, fully expecting them to call him up shortly, as he met all their criteria, and then some. Nothing. Not a single word. His brother (who had also applied, but with fewer criteria met) got a job offer, and Ruggy was puzzled, but resigned. God didn't want him to go.
It was two years ago, today, that Beanie took the first seizure we witnessed (although I have good reason to believe it was, at least, her second). That was one of the scariest moments of my life. I knew what was happening, and what to do in the moment, but couldn't help her. To this day, I thank God we had a good friend visiting. As a St. John's First Aid Responder, her first reaction is to call 9-1-1; mine is not. Thanks to her quick thinking, she was speaking with the dispatcher while Beanie was still seizing and the ambulance arrived within 5 minutes.
Why is it, whenever something truly serious occurs, Ruggy's at work? True, he should have been home within 30 minutes, but still. He missed it. Again. ...He's kind of like the Polkaroo, in that sense. Anyways, I called him at work, got the switchboard, was told he wasn't near a phone, and could they get a message to him? Yes, please. The message, word for word was, "The ambulance is on its way. We're taking Beanie to the hospital." After a beat of silence, the voice on the other end said, "I'll track him down for you." Thank you.
Anyhoo, he came on the line, I gave him details, and he promised to get home as soon as possible. I hung up, leaving Beanie in the capable hands of my friend, and went in search of health cards, keys, jackets and other things we'd need for the hospital. He made it home just as they were bundling her up in a blanket and taking her to the waiting ambulance. She calmed visibly (not that she was agitated before, but her BP lowered to a much more comfortable rate) when she saw him, and we agreed he could go with her. I'd follow in the car with family friend and Pinnie. Thankfully, family friend drove and I started phoning family to ask for prayer and to notify them.
To make a long story short, she experienced a febrile (fever induced) seizure. Usually harmless, although scary to live through. She should out-grow it by the time she's seven (she was barely four at the time). We got home late, tired and I was feeling very unwell. Turns out I was fighting something, and we hadn't eaten supper yet. My plan had been to reheat a casserole and then give Beanie a bath to cool her off - I knew she'd been on-and-off feverish for a few days, and an after-supper bath had become routine... we just.. didn't make it that far.
Our plan for New Year's Day was to do absolutely nothing. I was going to sleep until hunger drove me from my bed, then I was going to spend all day in my PJ's, watching movies with my girls and our friend. Ruggy, thanks to my phone call the night before, had been given the day off, so his plans were remarkably similar to my own. He fell out of bed sometime after 8 and gathered the girls for breakfast. I rolled over, enjoying the entire bed. About fifteen minutes later, he was shaking my foot. I looked up, and he said, "Angie*'s left messages. She's really upset. She needs out, and I'm going to pick her up." There went my lazy morning. Ok, I was up.
(*Name changed to protect privacy)
To understand this, you need to back up even farther, to the summer. I first met Angie at a candle party, hosted by my best friend. I liked Angie. She was funny, she enjoyed the same TV shows and movies, got some of my more obscure movie references. In short, we hit it off. Add to that we both had two little girls and loved to scrapbook and voila. Insta-friend. I found out she had left a dangerous marriage for the sake of her girls and was living with her parents. Having lived with my own in-laws, I empathized with her on the difficulties of moving home again while at the same time having free babysitting. Over the course of summer and fall, we got together a few times at my house to scrapbook with a few other girlfriends. Without her ever really complaining, I got the impression that her parents were rather difficult to live with, and fairly demanding. More than once, I offered her the use of our recently finished basement, if she ever found they were too much for her. I never really expected her to take me up on it, but I am glad she did. Fast forward to New Year's Day.
Ruggy went to get her, I got up, made the bed, got dressed and staggered downstairs for tea and to do the dishes. We were adding three more people to a house that had just survived Christmas and wasn't really ready for another invasion just yet.
Angie and her two girls moved in and lived with us until May. Her daughters were adorable, and I love them. It was not easy. For two of those months, I was very ill myself with a sinus infection and (I can't remember, but I think I also had) walking pneumonia again, on top of the usual pain from arthritis and sciatica. Both of my girls had symptom-free double ear infections we only discovered after the fact when we finally got in with a nurse practitioner (GPs being very hard to come by in the boonies). Angie was at the lowest point of her life. Having people in her face all the time, with no space to really call her own, other than the bedroom in the basement must have been so very hard for her. I was too caught up in my own issues to really sympathize, though, at the time, I thought I was doing pretty well. We saw her at her worst, and she saw us at ours. I will be honest, it was, at times, difficult to have two different parenting styles, and there were personality clashes as well as disagreements, but, on the whole, we managed fairly well, and when it was over, we did part as friends still. (Another working of God!)
Ruggy's work situation had not improved to any degree and so when the posting he had seen before Christmas was up again, he revamped his application and sent it off again. This time, he got a call back and was offered the job! The course would start the end of August. It was now April. We had just under 4 months to fix up our house, find a new one and move. It wasn't a small move, either, it was 5 hours away.
First things first, though. Angie would have to move out. As much as we hated to do it, we had to work on the house, and we couldn't do it with her and the girls occupying the basement. I knew she was scared. She had been apartment hunting for months and been told there was nothing available, and certainly nothing soon. We all prayed, and she called one place she had already told had a 12-month waiting list. Imagine our delight when she was told there was a 2-bedroom townhouse needing a sublet, starting in May. In a week! All they needed to do was paint and install baby gates for her! Praise God for His timing!
Angie moved out and we started working on the house. When I say 'we', I really mean Ruggy, my mother, and his father. They painted, put in shelving units, painted, installed new lights everywhere, fixed our upstairs bathroom. I cleaned, de-cluttered, packed and tried to keep everything somewhat organized and half-normal.
(Looking back, we now know why Ruggy didn't get the job the first time. God needed us to stay for Angie and her girls. No one else we knew had the space to let her move out of her parents' home.)
When everything was ready, we phoned the agent that had helped us purchase the house. The sign was on the lawn an hour and we had a booking. By the next day, we had accepted an offer, at our asking price. Wow. When God moves, He moves!
And so started a series of trips to the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) to look for a house. Our list of requirements wasn't unreasonable on paper, but it seemed to be impossible to find 3-bedroom house with a bit of yard and a garage, that did not require it to be completely gutted and rebuilt from the studs out. We just could not afford that. We began to entertain all sorts of alternate plans. Maybe the sale of our house would fall through - we were waiting on the sale of their house in New Brunswick - and then I could stay there until we found something. Or, the girls and I could move to Ottawa, live with my parents, the girls could go to school, Ruggy could stay with his brother (who would be working at the same place). Ruggy hated that idea. We expanded our search parameters, lowered our expectations and kept looking. Nothing. With six weeks till his job started, the stress was starting to take its toll. Neither of us were sleeping well, and we ate only when we fed the kids, not because we were hungry. After much prayer, we decided to rent for a year, to take the pressure off. Great. That felt like the right answer... Now, all we had to do was find a rental that would fit all our furniture - I was not going to pay rent *and* storage fees.
Again, God's timing. We found a decent enough house in a good neighbourhood with enough time to get there and unpack for a few days before he had to start the new job and a week or so before school started.
I'll skim over the school year:
Beanie, in SK, was doing very well. She makes friends everywhere she goes and loves everybody. She had her moments of homesickness, but as a whole, as long as the family was together, she was content.
Pinnie, in grade 4, had a rough year. She's a year younger than the kids in her grade, and she was in a 4/5 split. Through it all, her self confidence took a beating and she started to erect a hard shell to protect herself. Having been through that exact situation, I knew what was happening, but was powerless to help her. I watched as my happy-go-lucky little girl became sullen and withdrawn, snarky and overly sensitive. At the same time, she was excelling in school, and I pushed to have her tested for 'Giftedness'. I am so glad I did. She's off the charts, and because of that, qualified to attend any one of four schools with a gifted class in the area.
Armed with this knowledge, I phoned the school boards and collected maps of the 'pull zones' for each of the schools with the gifted track. We decided we would move into one of those, so both girls would attend the same school without the complications of variances or buses.
In March, chandica was visiting with her family. She and I had made an appointment with our real estate agent to go house hunting. Short version, we found it.
We got the keys in June of this year (2010) and started renovations. We worked all summer and moved in mid-August.
Now, both girls are loving school and are enjoying not having to take the bus to and from school, as that's where some of the problem children were. Pinnie has made a fresh start in grade 5, the chip on her shoulder is gone, although I think she will always retain a bit of the over-sensitivity. They have made new friends and play well with each other, again. Beanie seems to be everyone's friend in grade 1 and is starting to read chapter books meant for 7-9 year olds.
All three of us do highland dancing and the girls are working on swimming lessons. I've participated in (and won!) NaNoWriMo two years running, working on the same story. I have dreams of actually seeing it published. I've yet to see this type of work and really think it has possibilities. Granted, it still needs years of work to get to that point. I'll let you know if and when I get there!
Ruggy's enjoying his new job, the new guys he's working with and the entire situation. He likes the area, as it's closer to his extended family and his own parents have expressed an interest in moving to the area - to be closer to their own aging parents.
I still have moments of homesickness for the Boonies. I miss the open spaces, the dark night skies - free of city light-wash, and the small town feel. Most of all, I miss the people. I miss chandica and her family (although we speak often by phone and any other method that occurs to us!), I miss my old church and all the friends we had to leave behind. Yes, we have a truly wonderful church here and I love it. I've made new friends that are helping to make the transition easier, but at times, I just feel sad. I loved my home there. I like this one. Do I love it yet? I don't know. There's still so much left to do to it that all I see are projects, and piles of *stuff*. Maybe my house just needs to be filled with more people I love. Then, this house, like the last one, will be filled with memories. Just... not yet, I'm all peopled out from Christmas!
If anyone's still reading: "Hi, thanks for sticking around. Want some fruitcake?"
To make a long story slightly longer, we're all still here, two years older, 400-some km closer to the CN Tower, alive and kicking. I'm sure I've forgotten a lot, and those things may or may not be the topics of future posts. In the mean time...
Belated Merry Christmas, Happy New Year! From my house to yours: May you experience God's richest blessings in 2011.