Apparently, I'm an idiot. (Rant Warning)
I thought I was doing well. I thought we were happy, healthy, confident and well adjusted. Apparently, I was wrong. How do I know this?
Christmas day, while opening my presents, I get, from my father, a book: The Power of a Positive Mother. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the book is a fantastic resource. I'm sure it's well written and very useful, but this is not the point. This is my father being 'subtle.' I'm too negative, I'm too hard on my girls, I ask too much of them. Is it too much to ask my four year old to make her bed and get herself dressed every morning? To put her toys in their bins at the end of the day? To help set the table and help unload the dishwasher. I didn't think so, but according to my dad, it is.
Don't get me wrong, my girls aren't perfect. They give me moments of "why did I want to have children" and "whatever possessed me to have more than one?" but on the whole, they are well behaved, happy, confident, and in the case of my older daughter, respectful and polite children. I thought I was doing ok.
Shrug it off. Move on.
Not two weeks later, I opened a birthday gift from my mother. I knew it was a book. I was hoping it was from one of my favourite authors - she had a new one coming out last month. No such luck. No, it's another parenting book: What My Parents Did Right. Talk about a let-down! Not a much anticipated novel. No! It's another slap-in-the-face, you-suck-as-a-parent 'hint.'
Now, I don't know if they've been talking about me at home. alswaiter swears he knew nothing about the books, so they either talk about me when he's not there, or they just both think I can't raise my children without expert help and their interference. I won't even start talking about all the time we spend RE-training Pinnie after every visit with my parents. She becomes less manageable, more opinionated, more willfully defiant and gives me a whole whack of "But Grandma lets me to it." Grr.
So, I confronted Mom about her undermining my authority in front of Pinnie. (Ex: Lunchtime. I asked Pinnie to eat all her meat pie. She loves meat pie and usually has no trouble finishing it. I hadn't given her a lot, and she knew that she wouldn't be allowed to have her Rice Krispie tree if she didn't finish. Not two seconds after I said, "You need to eat all of it before you may have dessert," my mother pipes up with, "But you don't have to eat the crust.") Mom claims she's only trying to help, that it doesn't affect my daughter and that people are allowed to change their minds. Then she sulks. My mother! sulks.
Excuse me?? Who's the parent here? Pinnie's my daughter! She needs to follow the rules of the house. We don't have too many, but they need to be consistent!
My husband is so annoyed. None of this parenting 'advice' is directed at him! Ohno! Apparently, I'm the idiot, and my husband has nothing to do with the discipline and order in the home. It's aaaall me. And I'm doing it aaaall wrong.
Now, my mother's coming up sometime this weekend, and if she says anything - anything! - about how I deal with my kids, I'm going to snap and tell her how she's been making me feel inadequate as a parent and how she's contributing to my depression. ...Then she'll accuse me of being immature and childish.
But that's for another rant.
you are lightcyan
#E0FFFF
Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.
Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.
Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.
the spacefem.com html color quiz
Christmas day, while opening my presents, I get, from my father, a book: The Power of a Positive Mother. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the book is a fantastic resource. I'm sure it's well written and very useful, but this is not the point. This is my father being 'subtle.' I'm too negative, I'm too hard on my girls, I ask too much of them. Is it too much to ask my four year old to make her bed and get herself dressed every morning? To put her toys in their bins at the end of the day? To help set the table and help unload the dishwasher. I didn't think so, but according to my dad, it is.
Don't get me wrong, my girls aren't perfect. They give me moments of "why did I want to have children" and "whatever possessed me to have more than one?" but on the whole, they are well behaved, happy, confident, and in the case of my older daughter, respectful and polite children. I thought I was doing ok.
Shrug it off. Move on.
Not two weeks later, I opened a birthday gift from my mother. I knew it was a book. I was hoping it was from one of my favourite authors - she had a new one coming out last month. No such luck. No, it's another parenting book: What My Parents Did Right. Talk about a let-down! Not a much anticipated novel. No! It's another slap-in-the-face, you-suck-as-a-parent 'hint.'
Now, I don't know if they've been talking about me at home. alswaiter swears he knew nothing about the books, so they either talk about me when he's not there, or they just both think I can't raise my children without expert help and their interference. I won't even start talking about all the time we spend RE-training Pinnie after every visit with my parents. She becomes less manageable, more opinionated, more willfully defiant and gives me a whole whack of "But Grandma lets me to it." Grr.
So, I confronted Mom about her undermining my authority in front of Pinnie. (Ex: Lunchtime. I asked Pinnie to eat all her meat pie. She loves meat pie and usually has no trouble finishing it. I hadn't given her a lot, and she knew that she wouldn't be allowed to have her Rice Krispie tree if she didn't finish. Not two seconds after I said, "You need to eat all of it before you may have dessert," my mother pipes up with, "But you don't have to eat the crust.") Mom claims she's only trying to help, that it doesn't affect my daughter and that people are allowed to change their minds. Then she sulks. My mother! sulks.
Excuse me?? Who's the parent here? Pinnie's my daughter! She needs to follow the rules of the house. We don't have too many, but they need to be consistent!
My husband is so annoyed. None of this parenting 'advice' is directed at him! Ohno! Apparently, I'm the idiot, and my husband has nothing to do with the discipline and order in the home. It's aaaall me. And I'm doing it aaaall wrong.
Now, my mother's coming up sometime this weekend, and if she says anything - anything! - about how I deal with my kids, I'm going to snap and tell her how she's been making me feel inadequate as a parent and how she's contributing to my depression. ...Then she'll accuse me of being immature and childish.
But that's for another rant.
you are lightcyan
#E0FFFF
Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.
Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.
Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.
the spacefem.com html color quiz