Doing just fine
I finished my first week of my second year of college. It was much much better than I thought. I was seriously doubting that I would go back. I just felt like it would be pointless, and I'd hate it. It was so much better the first day though. I actually was having fun.
Oh and the girls. There's this girl named Amber...Rose that's in my English class (my first one) that is so pretty. Not hot, but pretty. I mean, hot girls are... hot. But this girl has beauty. She has a certain look that I like. I like hot girls too but.... whatever. I just hope she didn't drop the class because she wasn't there on tuesday. Meh.. there will be others.
Oh and I go on tuesday from 12-9 with an hour break, and then on thursday from 12-6 with an hour break. 14 units. A long tuesday, but it beats driving 3 days a week.
Then there's miranda. This will probably be the last about her for a while. I guess. Umm.. I decided to call her... not to 'get back with her' but to make sure things were okay. Well I called and left a message, and she called back, but we never got a chance to actually 'talk.' Later that day we exchanged text messages, with her getting kinda upset because I wrote that I didn't want to be with her and that she'd be weighting me down... im my journal. She took it the wrong way because I weighted her down too... it was a very stressful situation. I didn't mean she was just..something cumbersome to my life. Anyway, she said she wouldn't/couldn't call or something and I just said something to the effect of 'if im not worth a phone call anymore than.. whatever.' and I think that's where it ended.
Initially I felt a panic-like feeling of wanting to call her right away and being upset because she wouldn't call me, but I thought i'd be strong and not give in. That was a good decision. I fell 100x better than I did before I talked to her. I really felt depressed then. I kept thinking about her being not with me but with someone else. But after I talked to her..it was okay. I said what I needed for the most part. I let out what I needed. I know she feels how I do.. she was always nervous about me finding "another girl" being "with some girl." It doesn't matter now though because things are getting better in this respect. I feel a lot better, but this isn't over quite yet. I still have feelings, but they're slowly tapering off. Even though I say all this, I still love her and I still want to be friends with her. I left the ball in her court though. I asked her to call me and told her I want to be able to talk to me. That gives me the ease and peace of mind to not worry. I'm good for now.
Oh and the girls. There's this girl named Amber...Rose that's in my English class (my first one) that is so pretty. Not hot, but pretty. I mean, hot girls are... hot. But this girl has beauty. She has a certain look that I like. I like hot girls too but.... whatever. I just hope she didn't drop the class because she wasn't there on tuesday. Meh.. there will be others.
Oh and I go on tuesday from 12-9 with an hour break, and then on thursday from 12-6 with an hour break. 14 units. A long tuesday, but it beats driving 3 days a week.
Then there's miranda. This will probably be the last about her for a while. I guess. Umm.. I decided to call her... not to 'get back with her' but to make sure things were okay. Well I called and left a message, and she called back, but we never got a chance to actually 'talk.' Later that day we exchanged text messages, with her getting kinda upset because I wrote that I didn't want to be with her and that she'd be weighting me down... im my journal. She took it the wrong way because I weighted her down too... it was a very stressful situation. I didn't mean she was just..something cumbersome to my life. Anyway, she said she wouldn't/couldn't call or something and I just said something to the effect of 'if im not worth a phone call anymore than.. whatever.' and I think that's where it ended.
Initially I felt a panic-like feeling of wanting to call her right away and being upset because she wouldn't call me, but I thought i'd be strong and not give in. That was a good decision. I fell 100x better than I did before I talked to her. I really felt depressed then. I kept thinking about her being not with me but with someone else. But after I talked to her..it was okay. I said what I needed for the most part. I let out what I needed. I know she feels how I do.. she was always nervous about me finding "another girl" being "with some girl." It doesn't matter now though because things are getting better in this respect. I feel a lot better, but this isn't over quite yet. I still have feelings, but they're slowly tapering off. Even though I say all this, I still love her and I still want to be friends with her. I left the ball in her court though. I asked her to call me and told her I want to be able to talk to me. That gives me the ease and peace of mind to not worry. I'm good for now.