I've dreaded this day...I had hoped it wouldn't ever come
Yesterday, as I was peed and spit up on twice, and again today as I changed my 800 millionth diaper I was struck with a very scary realization - I'm burned out and need a change of profession.
This makes me really really sad...and scares the crap out of me.
I've been taking care of children for over 20 years (and it's crazy to me that I'm old enough to say that...i don't FEEL like I'm old enough to, but I am). I started babysitting when I was 11 or 12. Other than a brief stint working at Sears in college, I've only ever worked with children. I've spent over 10 years in classrooms - anywhere from infant rooms to preK classrooms. I've taught preschool, Sunday school. I've been a TSS. I managed the Eagle's Nest at the local Giant Eagle (an in-store child care room for parents who drop their children off to shop in peace and quiet). I've been a nanny (even when I was a SAHM).
My entire professional life has been some form of child care.
And I'm tired. Worn out.
I love my job. I love snuggling and caring for the babies. I love watching the littles learn and grow. I like the people I work with; I get along with all of them. I love knowing that everyday I go to work and make a difference for these babies. They know love outside of mom and dad because of me. I get all the perks of raising babies without the expense and sleep deprivation (well not really because I'm not sleeping these days but it's not because of babies).
I'm starting to dread going to work, though. Not because of anything specific about my job. I guess it's more because I just need to do something new. Something different. A part of me feels like I'm ready for a job with a desk and "grown up clothes" and people who report to me. And it's never really been my thing, but I think it's time to move on and try something new.
And that shouldn't be hard, or an issue. I'm one class away from a MAED. This should enable me to find a job in my field that I will enjoy and do well with. The more research I do, however, the less I'm finding that to be the case. I have no idea how to search for a job outside of childcare. I have no idea how to interview for a job outside of childcare. I have no experience, really, outside of childcare (nothing substantial). I'm starting from scratch and recreating myself and that scares the hell out of me.
I have NO idea what I want to do, who I want to be, what I *should* do. I'm in a position to drastically change my life and have no idea what to do next.
I've been thinking about this a lot the past few days and every time I think about leaving the center and the childcare field, I want to cry. But when i think about just staying and not messing with what I know, I feel panicky, stressed and frustrated.
What do I do now?!
This makes me really really sad...and scares the crap out of me.
I've been taking care of children for over 20 years (and it's crazy to me that I'm old enough to say that...i don't FEEL like I'm old enough to, but I am). I started babysitting when I was 11 or 12. Other than a brief stint working at Sears in college, I've only ever worked with children. I've spent over 10 years in classrooms - anywhere from infant rooms to preK classrooms. I've taught preschool, Sunday school. I've been a TSS. I managed the Eagle's Nest at the local Giant Eagle (an in-store child care room for parents who drop their children off to shop in peace and quiet). I've been a nanny (even when I was a SAHM).
My entire professional life has been some form of child care.
And I'm tired. Worn out.
I love my job. I love snuggling and caring for the babies. I love watching the littles learn and grow. I like the people I work with; I get along with all of them. I love knowing that everyday I go to work and make a difference for these babies. They know love outside of mom and dad because of me. I get all the perks of raising babies without the expense and sleep deprivation (well not really because I'm not sleeping these days but it's not because of babies).
I'm starting to dread going to work, though. Not because of anything specific about my job. I guess it's more because I just need to do something new. Something different. A part of me feels like I'm ready for a job with a desk and "grown up clothes" and people who report to me. And it's never really been my thing, but I think it's time to move on and try something new.
And that shouldn't be hard, or an issue. I'm one class away from a MAED. This should enable me to find a job in my field that I will enjoy and do well with. The more research I do, however, the less I'm finding that to be the case. I have no idea how to search for a job outside of childcare. I have no idea how to interview for a job outside of childcare. I have no experience, really, outside of childcare (nothing substantial). I'm starting from scratch and recreating myself and that scares the hell out of me.
I have NO idea what I want to do, who I want to be, what I *should* do. I'm in a position to drastically change my life and have no idea what to do next.
I've been thinking about this a lot the past few days and every time I think about leaving the center and the childcare field, I want to cry. But when i think about just staying and not messing with what I know, I feel panicky, stressed and frustrated.
What do I do now?!