He always finds a way...
I've been spending the past few days giving serious consideration to becoming involved in the middle school ministry at my church. To most people, being involved in that versus being involved in the women's group probably isn't that big of a deal.
But I feel like I'm at a crossroads and want to make sure I make the right choice; the choice God wants from me.
I have already seen ways that He's been using me in my women's group. And it's been a bit life-changing and amazing for me. Just to be able to bring hope to someone who is just beginning to go through the custody mess I've been through, to show her that it does get easier and will be ok, and that you can still have faith and hope and choose joy even when a part of you wants to kick and scream and cry, has all been amazing.
But I feel like I need to do more. I *want* to do more. And before this semester of small groups started, I was completely interested in getting involved with the kids. I just hadn't heard from the lead pastor, so I was biding my time and waiting it out. Now I've heard from him and feel like there is SO much I could offer to these girls. There are girls in the ministry who are 13 and 14 and questioning their sexuality. There are girls who are falling into the less-than-desirable crowds. There are girls who are dressing in ways that draw all the wrong kinds of attention. And I have, at some point or another (and quite recently in fact), been that girl. But more than that, I get these girls. I'm the one my 12 year old niece talks to when she's crushing on a boy or frustrated with the craziness and chaos of her house. And I've been blessed with the gift of being able to communicate with her; to talk to her in a way that lets her know I really am hearing what she's saying, and that I care and that I want to support her and guide her. If I can do it for Annabeth, I can do it for those other girls. And I want to.
I was hesitant to immediately say yes Wednesday night. The pastor was saying a lot of the right things and I didn't want to make an adrenaline influenced, heat of the moment decision. I wanted to look at scripture, seek counsel and pray on it. To make sure this is truly a God ordained appointment and not just me choosing it because it was what *I* wanted. I want to take it seriously.
I've always been drawn to ministry - not to become a pastor, necessarily, but to minister either with youth or through music or both - and this could be that opportunity I've been longing for.
But how can I be sure? i know I have a habit of over-thinking EVERYTHING, but in this instance I felt like I really needed to. I need to make sure that my desires are something God put on my heart and not completely selfish.
Then tonight, a friend posted this on her facebook (in one of those meme like pictures):
God is always working things out for my good. He has chosen me for His purpose.
Romans 8:28
And it couldn't be timed more perfectly. And it gave me that "A-ha!" light bulb moment. I'm 95% sure of what I want to do, what I *should* do, now. I still have a couple conversations to have to be 100% sure (and I won't do anything unless I'm totally sure), but things are a whole lot clearer now.
But I feel like I'm at a crossroads and want to make sure I make the right choice; the choice God wants from me.
I have already seen ways that He's been using me in my women's group. And it's been a bit life-changing and amazing for me. Just to be able to bring hope to someone who is just beginning to go through the custody mess I've been through, to show her that it does get easier and will be ok, and that you can still have faith and hope and choose joy even when a part of you wants to kick and scream and cry, has all been amazing.
But I feel like I need to do more. I *want* to do more. And before this semester of small groups started, I was completely interested in getting involved with the kids. I just hadn't heard from the lead pastor, so I was biding my time and waiting it out. Now I've heard from him and feel like there is SO much I could offer to these girls. There are girls in the ministry who are 13 and 14 and questioning their sexuality. There are girls who are falling into the less-than-desirable crowds. There are girls who are dressing in ways that draw all the wrong kinds of attention. And I have, at some point or another (and quite recently in fact), been that girl. But more than that, I get these girls. I'm the one my 12 year old niece talks to when she's crushing on a boy or frustrated with the craziness and chaos of her house. And I've been blessed with the gift of being able to communicate with her; to talk to her in a way that lets her know I really am hearing what she's saying, and that I care and that I want to support her and guide her. If I can do it for Annabeth, I can do it for those other girls. And I want to.
I was hesitant to immediately say yes Wednesday night. The pastor was saying a lot of the right things and I didn't want to make an adrenaline influenced, heat of the moment decision. I wanted to look at scripture, seek counsel and pray on it. To make sure this is truly a God ordained appointment and not just me choosing it because it was what *I* wanted. I want to take it seriously.
I've always been drawn to ministry - not to become a pastor, necessarily, but to minister either with youth or through music or both - and this could be that opportunity I've been longing for.
But how can I be sure? i know I have a habit of over-thinking EVERYTHING, but in this instance I felt like I really needed to. I need to make sure that my desires are something God put on my heart and not completely selfish.
Then tonight, a friend posted this on her facebook (in one of those meme like pictures):
God is always working things out for my good. He has chosen me for His purpose.
Romans 8:28
And it couldn't be timed more perfectly. And it gave me that "A-ha!" light bulb moment. I'm 95% sure of what I want to do, what I *should* do, now. I still have a couple conversations to have to be 100% sure (and I won't do anything unless I'm totally sure), but things are a whole lot clearer now.