How I killed 11 people my freshman year of college...
If this is too much of a bitchy sex post, comment and I'll edit it. This is my recap of my first year of college and how it has completely changed my life.
So let's start at orientation. I went to orientation and everything. I didn't really meet anyone worth a damn, nor did I have fun, but it wouldn't be too much longer until I got around to it. The idea of a fraternity was still in my mind. I was looking pretty closely at Delta Chi and I had already received a bid to Phi Delta Theta. I knew about their attitudes towards gay people and that unless I stayed in the closet, I wouldn't be getting in. I had just gotten out of a relationship where there was no sexual contact, no messing around, nothing. Did I care? No. Did I care that he slept around with all the other men in Alabama? No. But that's just me. I never have understood relationships and I never will. I just want one.
I got assigned to Paty Hall. When I got there, my roommate was really quiet and didn't seem to want to associate with people. Oh well, too bad for him. I was here to have a great fucking time. My dorm room sucked and I didn't want to live there. Hell, I had only applied for Rose Towers three times. Eventually, though, I learned to love Paty and I will definitely be sad the day they tear it down. The more cigarettes I smoked, the more people I met. I would just sit outside for hours on end and just smoke with people. I met people like Matt, the hot frat boy that was always drunk, Alex, the hippie that smoked too much pot, James, the other hot frat boy that was in my HY 101 class, and some other people that definitely deserve their own paragraphs.
So, Roy was definitely the first friend that I made down here. I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette and across from me on the bench was this short guy with this hat on and this black guy that worked at the 24-Hour Diner. Well, Darrell rambled on for about 20 minutes as myself and hat boy just kind of pretended to be interested. After Darrell went inside to clock in, I got to know hat boy as Roy. He apparently had gaydar because I remember a little of our first conversation:
Roy: "Yeah, I had to tell my roommate I was gay."
Me: "Oh really? Yeah, me too."
Roy: "Yeah, I figured you were gay, that's why I said that."
It pretty much went from there. Me with my over-bearing attraction to people who at least feign interest towards me eventually drew us completely apart. I didn't speak to Roy for months but I'll get back to him again. To you, Roy, I would like to say that we still haven't talked much about what happened. Maybe it's better that way, but you know I still love you either way.
Sara was Jewish. Sara had ADD. Sara smoked a lot of pot. Seems like the perfect best friend/fag hag, right? By this point, I came to the decision that a fraternity just wasn't for me. The first night me and Sara got high, we had some KB left over from when me and Roy smoked. We got back to Paty only to be cracking up laughing at absolutely nothing. Remember the steering wheel? The next day, I found out that Matt (mentioned earlier) was actually watching us be incredibly high. Funny how that was anyway. So from that point on, me and Sara were definitely the best of friends. We always went places with each other, we smoked every day. It was great. Her apartment was within walking distance of me. As time went on, Sara and I were pretty inseperateable. However, my wallet hurt and I really wasn't noticing what was happening.
Tommy. There's nothing more to say. Tommy is my best friend. I have never spent as much time as a gay guy without messing around with him. Tommy and I have the best relationship that I have ever had with any other person. Things weren't always this way. I remember when I met Tommy. Roy and I were smoking a cigarette outside and Tommy decides to sit down and start running his mouth about something. After he left, Roy looks at me and goes, "Did you get a gay vibe from him?" Me being as oblivious as hell said "No, I don't think so, I heard him talking about a woman he was with or something earlier" Why did I say he wasn't gay? I really didn't think he was because of what he had said. Seriously. But then again, I look back at Tommy and remember who he is now. He got his. Probably right after I stopped talking to Roy, Tommy and I started hanging out. Sara had spent time with him at Bama Blast and that was how I got to know him. Hanging out with Tommy became more and more commonplace every day.
I met Karan and Taylor through Tommy. I could never keep them straight. I remember asking Tommy one time "Is this Taylor or Karan?" It ended up being Taylor and she ended up playing Dirty Dice with Tommy that night. Back to Karan. Karan has been my alter-ego for some time and in all honesty, I have enjoyed hanging out with Karan so much. Karan has been my little angel since the beginning and has always been there for me.
So, my first semester, I had Psychology MWF 1:00 - 1:50. The first day of class was a Wednesday and I was noticing how many Asian women went to this school. I leave Gordon Palmer to head back to my dorm, only to run into this lost little Asian girl. She was wearing these really thick framed glasses. She asked me, "Do you know the way to Paty Hall?" Well, of course I did, but I didn't want to show the bitch, but I was on my way there anyway so I showed her the way. Friday came along and out of nowhere I hear "Michael! Michael! Michael!" Well, I was walking back from Gordon Palmer again and I turned around to see that damn Asian girl. I remember going to Tommy that night and telling him that she was getting on my nerves. One fateful evening, Tommy, Karan and I were walking outside Paty and ran into that Asian girl. Well, Tommy and Karan just started talking to her and ever since then, we hung out with her. Rickie has shown me a different side to that little Asian girl that followed me around.
Memory Insert: The first time I got high with Karan and Rickie, we went back to Parham and sat at the benches. Karan asked Rickie for the Visine because she was meeting a guy named Michael. Well Karan puts the Visine in her eyes and looks at Rickie and says "How do I look?" Rickie says "You look like you're crying." I immediately blurted out "Oh its fine, she can just be like 'Oh Michael, its so good to see you'" Hilarity ensued.
I remember meeting Spencer. He had just changed his major from Journalism to Music. I told him it was a stupid idea at the time, but no one listens to Drew. Spencer was pressuring Tommy (who had just gotten rid of his disabled roommate) to become his roommate. Spencer's roommate, Alan, was just creepy. I can't blame him but whatever. Spencer eventually decided to explore his sexuality and that's when the shit hit the fan.
I remember the night I met Nikki too. She was Karan and Rickie's sorority sister that was 23 and had an apartment to drink at. Well that first night at Nikki's only counts one of the many nights we had there. Although we started to drink on a daily basis, we cut it within a few months. Nikki got on our nerves and more and more with her incessant bitching.
Most memorable song: TLC - Red Light Special
Quick insert: Valisha, you suck. I hope you die.
Nobody understood why Valisha and I fought so much. I think that nobody cared to know either. Oh well, Valisha's ass went and talked shit about everyone and now she's not gonna be going to school anymore. Good job you dumb bitch.
I think that will cover everyone that needs to be mentioned for right now. So it was Tommy, Karan, Rickie and myself on a regular basis. Spencer started to creep up on us. It was a little annoying. Tommy was spending time with this guy, Jack, that worked at Starbucks. Rickie was dating Doug and Karan was usually with Quintin. Me? I was alone. I had just walked away from someone that was offering me the no-strings hookup. I didn't understand it and I still don't. I think that life throws things at you and you have to know how to deal with it. I haven't been the best at that, but it's important to not screw up every opportunity that you have.
I remember the night that Spencer had his first gay encounter. I also remember that he cockblocked another girl. (HAHA Amanda, you midget bitch) Fun times, but Spencer proceeded to tell everyone about it. Caused a lot of shit with everyone. I also remember the night we went to the Quest. I beat a bunch of drag queens at pool.
Oh, I just noticed how FUCKING long this post is, so let's fast foward to about November. I remember working in the CoE lab in Paty on a Psychology paper while one of my ex's was calling me about 300 times. I don't remember why either. Some bullshit. That's when life threw something at me that I never would have expected in years.
I'm not gonna mention any names. If you know, then you know. If not, don't worry about it. I got a call from someone, he said he was friends with somone that I hadn't talked to in a few months. He wanted to buy some weed. So, I got him some, called him back and got him to come pick it up. He refused to pay more than $15 for it. Well, I had paid $20 for it and I wasn't in the mood to negotiate. I had a Psychology paper to write. So, he left and about 10 minutes later, I get a text message. I was waiting for it to be my ex. It was the guy that I had just sold to. He sent me a message saying "Thanks for the weed, even though you came up short, we should hook up"
Nice thing to read as finals come up. Blah. I was really confused, but I wasn't against the idea. I smoked with him a day or two later and then hooked up with him the next night. It was definitely an experience for me. He was the dumb, little, straightboy that I had always wanted. My clingy nature that had made me disconnect myself from Roy was about to come out yet again. I drove him away. I have to stop doing that. And granted, I drove this guy away, but we stayed in contact.
By the end of the semester, I had been distracted enough. My final grades came out, but not too badly. Bad enough that I had to worry about it. I had a C- in PY 101, HY 101, and MATH 112. I had a C in EN 101 and an F in MUS 121. Go figure.
Rickie had sex with a lot of men last semester. However, she eventually settled down with one of her fucks, Nate. Nate's not the best boyfriend in the world, and in all honesty, I wish Rickie would break up with him. It's only causing headaches for Tommy, Karan and myself.
Don't think that my story ends there. This concludes one semester. I'll get to Spring eventually and you'll see how the story continues to get better.
Highlights:
"Lick my bloody pussy!" -Rickie
"Oh Michael, it's so nice to see you" -Me
Rolling on X for the first time
Wednesday nights at Nikki's (and every other night)
Drinking Absinthe
Halloween
Fun times at the Tut math lab
Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Snake!
The Lost Weekend (Hurricane Ivan, baby)
Comment and I'll add what I need to...
So let's start at orientation. I went to orientation and everything. I didn't really meet anyone worth a damn, nor did I have fun, but it wouldn't be too much longer until I got around to it. The idea of a fraternity was still in my mind. I was looking pretty closely at Delta Chi and I had already received a bid to Phi Delta Theta. I knew about their attitudes towards gay people and that unless I stayed in the closet, I wouldn't be getting in. I had just gotten out of a relationship where there was no sexual contact, no messing around, nothing. Did I care? No. Did I care that he slept around with all the other men in Alabama? No. But that's just me. I never have understood relationships and I never will. I just want one.
I got assigned to Paty Hall. When I got there, my roommate was really quiet and didn't seem to want to associate with people. Oh well, too bad for him. I was here to have a great fucking time. My dorm room sucked and I didn't want to live there. Hell, I had only applied for Rose Towers three times. Eventually, though, I learned to love Paty and I will definitely be sad the day they tear it down. The more cigarettes I smoked, the more people I met. I would just sit outside for hours on end and just smoke with people. I met people like Matt, the hot frat boy that was always drunk, Alex, the hippie that smoked too much pot, James, the other hot frat boy that was in my HY 101 class, and some other people that definitely deserve their own paragraphs.
So, Roy was definitely the first friend that I made down here. I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette and across from me on the bench was this short guy with this hat on and this black guy that worked at the 24-Hour Diner. Well, Darrell rambled on for about 20 minutes as myself and hat boy just kind of pretended to be interested. After Darrell went inside to clock in, I got to know hat boy as Roy. He apparently had gaydar because I remember a little of our first conversation:
Roy: "Yeah, I had to tell my roommate I was gay."
Me: "Oh really? Yeah, me too."
Roy: "Yeah, I figured you were gay, that's why I said that."
It pretty much went from there. Me with my over-bearing attraction to people who at least feign interest towards me eventually drew us completely apart. I didn't speak to Roy for months but I'll get back to him again. To you, Roy, I would like to say that we still haven't talked much about what happened. Maybe it's better that way, but you know I still love you either way.
Sara was Jewish. Sara had ADD. Sara smoked a lot of pot. Seems like the perfect best friend/fag hag, right? By this point, I came to the decision that a fraternity just wasn't for me. The first night me and Sara got high, we had some KB left over from when me and Roy smoked. We got back to Paty only to be cracking up laughing at absolutely nothing. Remember the steering wheel? The next day, I found out that Matt (mentioned earlier) was actually watching us be incredibly high. Funny how that was anyway. So from that point on, me and Sara were definitely the best of friends. We always went places with each other, we smoked every day. It was great. Her apartment was within walking distance of me. As time went on, Sara and I were pretty inseperateable. However, my wallet hurt and I really wasn't noticing what was happening.
Tommy. There's nothing more to say. Tommy is my best friend. I have never spent as much time as a gay guy without messing around with him. Tommy and I have the best relationship that I have ever had with any other person. Things weren't always this way. I remember when I met Tommy. Roy and I were smoking a cigarette outside and Tommy decides to sit down and start running his mouth about something. After he left, Roy looks at me and goes, "Did you get a gay vibe from him?" Me being as oblivious as hell said "No, I don't think so, I heard him talking about a woman he was with or something earlier" Why did I say he wasn't gay? I really didn't think he was because of what he had said. Seriously. But then again, I look back at Tommy and remember who he is now. He got his. Probably right after I stopped talking to Roy, Tommy and I started hanging out. Sara had spent time with him at Bama Blast and that was how I got to know him. Hanging out with Tommy became more and more commonplace every day.
I met Karan and Taylor through Tommy. I could never keep them straight. I remember asking Tommy one time "Is this Taylor or Karan?" It ended up being Taylor and she ended up playing Dirty Dice with Tommy that night. Back to Karan. Karan has been my alter-ego for some time and in all honesty, I have enjoyed hanging out with Karan so much. Karan has been my little angel since the beginning and has always been there for me.
So, my first semester, I had Psychology MWF 1:00 - 1:50. The first day of class was a Wednesday and I was noticing how many Asian women went to this school. I leave Gordon Palmer to head back to my dorm, only to run into this lost little Asian girl. She was wearing these really thick framed glasses. She asked me, "Do you know the way to Paty Hall?" Well, of course I did, but I didn't want to show the bitch, but I was on my way there anyway so I showed her the way. Friday came along and out of nowhere I hear "Michael! Michael! Michael!" Well, I was walking back from Gordon Palmer again and I turned around to see that damn Asian girl. I remember going to Tommy that night and telling him that she was getting on my nerves. One fateful evening, Tommy, Karan and I were walking outside Paty and ran into that Asian girl. Well, Tommy and Karan just started talking to her and ever since then, we hung out with her. Rickie has shown me a different side to that little Asian girl that followed me around.
Memory Insert: The first time I got high with Karan and Rickie, we went back to Parham and sat at the benches. Karan asked Rickie for the Visine because she was meeting a guy named Michael. Well Karan puts the Visine in her eyes and looks at Rickie and says "How do I look?" Rickie says "You look like you're crying." I immediately blurted out "Oh its fine, she can just be like 'Oh Michael, its so good to see you'" Hilarity ensued.
I remember meeting Spencer. He had just changed his major from Journalism to Music. I told him it was a stupid idea at the time, but no one listens to Drew. Spencer was pressuring Tommy (who had just gotten rid of his disabled roommate) to become his roommate. Spencer's roommate, Alan, was just creepy. I can't blame him but whatever. Spencer eventually decided to explore his sexuality and that's when the shit hit the fan.
I remember the night I met Nikki too. She was Karan and Rickie's sorority sister that was 23 and had an apartment to drink at. Well that first night at Nikki's only counts one of the many nights we had there. Although we started to drink on a daily basis, we cut it within a few months. Nikki got on our nerves and more and more with her incessant bitching.
Most memorable song: TLC - Red Light Special
Quick insert: Valisha, you suck. I hope you die.
Nobody understood why Valisha and I fought so much. I think that nobody cared to know either. Oh well, Valisha's ass went and talked shit about everyone and now she's not gonna be going to school anymore. Good job you dumb bitch.
I think that will cover everyone that needs to be mentioned for right now. So it was Tommy, Karan, Rickie and myself on a regular basis. Spencer started to creep up on us. It was a little annoying. Tommy was spending time with this guy, Jack, that worked at Starbucks. Rickie was dating Doug and Karan was usually with Quintin. Me? I was alone. I had just walked away from someone that was offering me the no-strings hookup. I didn't understand it and I still don't. I think that life throws things at you and you have to know how to deal with it. I haven't been the best at that, but it's important to not screw up every opportunity that you have.
I remember the night that Spencer had his first gay encounter. I also remember that he cockblocked another girl. (HAHA Amanda, you midget bitch) Fun times, but Spencer proceeded to tell everyone about it. Caused a lot of shit with everyone. I also remember the night we went to the Quest. I beat a bunch of drag queens at pool.
Oh, I just noticed how FUCKING long this post is, so let's fast foward to about November. I remember working in the CoE lab in Paty on a Psychology paper while one of my ex's was calling me about 300 times. I don't remember why either. Some bullshit. That's when life threw something at me that I never would have expected in years.
I'm not gonna mention any names. If you know, then you know. If not, don't worry about it. I got a call from someone, he said he was friends with somone that I hadn't talked to in a few months. He wanted to buy some weed. So, I got him some, called him back and got him to come pick it up. He refused to pay more than $15 for it. Well, I had paid $20 for it and I wasn't in the mood to negotiate. I had a Psychology paper to write. So, he left and about 10 minutes later, I get a text message. I was waiting for it to be my ex. It was the guy that I had just sold to. He sent me a message saying "Thanks for the weed, even though you came up short, we should hook up"
Nice thing to read as finals come up. Blah. I was really confused, but I wasn't against the idea. I smoked with him a day or two later and then hooked up with him the next night. It was definitely an experience for me. He was the dumb, little, straightboy that I had always wanted. My clingy nature that had made me disconnect myself from Roy was about to come out yet again. I drove him away. I have to stop doing that. And granted, I drove this guy away, but we stayed in contact.
By the end of the semester, I had been distracted enough. My final grades came out, but not too badly. Bad enough that I had to worry about it. I had a C- in PY 101, HY 101, and MATH 112. I had a C in EN 101 and an F in MUS 121. Go figure.
Rickie had sex with a lot of men last semester. However, she eventually settled down with one of her fucks, Nate. Nate's not the best boyfriend in the world, and in all honesty, I wish Rickie would break up with him. It's only causing headaches for Tommy, Karan and myself.
Don't think that my story ends there. This concludes one semester. I'll get to Spring eventually and you'll see how the story continues to get better.
Highlights:
"Lick my bloody pussy!" -Rickie
"Oh Michael, it's so nice to see you" -Me
Rolling on X for the first time
Wednesday nights at Nikki's (and every other night)
Drinking Absinthe
Halloween
Fun times at the Tut math lab
Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Snake!
The Lost Weekend (Hurricane Ivan, baby)
Comment and I'll add what I need to...