(no subject)
SO, let's give it up for the new year.
& drinking Jim Beam alone at 4:30 AM. I'm not an alcoholic. It just helps me fall asleep & also I wake up earlier after drinking. Amen.
Tommorrow it will be 2007. It's not necessarily that I'm not sure how I feel about 2007, it's more that I'm not sure how I feel about 2006. It's been quite a year full of highs & lows & everything in between; certainly one of the craziest years of my life thus far. I've changed... dramatically & at this point, I could probably be classified as the most confused person ever (exaggeration). No, but really, more and more when things happen I find myself questioning how to react. & I usually have a reaction rate of under .5 seconds. I don't know. I'm happy with myself most of the time & that's all that matters, right?
College has been by far the biggest change of my life. I am absolutely in love with all of the places/people/experiences I've been to/met/had thus far & I have little regret. BUT I still look forward to coming home; to coming to a place which is familiar. However, I can't exactly say coming home has met these expectations. Maybe I have a selfish view but isn't home supposed to be the place where you go & despite all the change everything/everyone just seems familiar and they just take you back as if you've been there all along? Maybe I just have a warped idea of what "home" is, but it seems like despite Pittsburgh being a completely different city full of complete strangers the most change I've felt has been the days in which I am home; the days which I thought would feel so unaltered. I just want what I've always had along with all of the new things I've acquired and I'm starting to get the feeling that it doesn't quite work out that way. Life is crazy. I go back to Pittsburgh in a little more than two days. I'm glad to be going back, but there sure is a little feeling that tells me I haven't made the most of my time home; that I haven't seen/spend enough time with the people that are supposed to matter the most.
Normally, I would be ranting about how New Year's resolutions are stupid & if you want to change yourself do it... you don't need the beginning of a new year. BUT this year I'm going to make one despite all of that. & it's not going to be something stupid like "go to the gym" or "eat healthier." In 2007, I'm going to actually act the way that I feel. I know that sounds stupid, but anyone who knows me knows that I'm completely lacking in the whole emotion department. So, there it is.
Brighter side of everything. New Year's Eve is probably my favorite holiday. & I'm hoping it's spent in a good way which completely requires a bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz. Then back to school where the first 100 hours are already planned to be a complete blast. I miss those kids.
Goodnight.
& drinking Jim Beam alone at 4:30 AM. I'm not an alcoholic. It just helps me fall asleep & also I wake up earlier after drinking. Amen.
Tommorrow it will be 2007. It's not necessarily that I'm not sure how I feel about 2007, it's more that I'm not sure how I feel about 2006. It's been quite a year full of highs & lows & everything in between; certainly one of the craziest years of my life thus far. I've changed... dramatically & at this point, I could probably be classified as the most confused person ever (exaggeration). No, but really, more and more when things happen I find myself questioning how to react. & I usually have a reaction rate of under .5 seconds. I don't know. I'm happy with myself most of the time & that's all that matters, right?
College has been by far the biggest change of my life. I am absolutely in love with all of the places/people/experiences I've been to/met/had thus far & I have little regret. BUT I still look forward to coming home; to coming to a place which is familiar. However, I can't exactly say coming home has met these expectations. Maybe I have a selfish view but isn't home supposed to be the place where you go & despite all the change everything/everyone just seems familiar and they just take you back as if you've been there all along? Maybe I just have a warped idea of what "home" is, but it seems like despite Pittsburgh being a completely different city full of complete strangers the most change I've felt has been the days in which I am home; the days which I thought would feel so unaltered. I just want what I've always had along with all of the new things I've acquired and I'm starting to get the feeling that it doesn't quite work out that way. Life is crazy. I go back to Pittsburgh in a little more than two days. I'm glad to be going back, but there sure is a little feeling that tells me I haven't made the most of my time home; that I haven't seen/spend enough time with the people that are supposed to matter the most.
Normally, I would be ranting about how New Year's resolutions are stupid & if you want to change yourself do it... you don't need the beginning of a new year. BUT this year I'm going to make one despite all of that. & it's not going to be something stupid like "go to the gym" or "eat healthier." In 2007, I'm going to actually act the way that I feel. I know that sounds stupid, but anyone who knows me knows that I'm completely lacking in the whole emotion department. So, there it is.
Brighter side of everything. New Year's Eve is probably my favorite holiday. & I'm hoping it's spent in a good way which completely requires a bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz. Then back to school where the first 100 hours are already planned to be a complete blast. I miss those kids.
Goodnight.