J/A S4 Premiere Picspam. Hour 1.
... aka a short guide on how to write drama comedy soap opera!
Feel free to ignore my ramblings and focus on pics =]
Our two victims protagonists:
I always skip the intro. Did we have the same shots last season? And is that Angela's shot from the S2 proposal scene?
Anyway, let's start our story, right?
Jack got British slime! So he's gonna be very busy. See, they might've taken away his personality, but at least he still has the same job on the team. Which is slime and bugs and dirt. It's important to repeat it a few times in every episode in case someone forgot.
This also means Angela might get bored and lonely while Jack is working playing with dirt. Let's make it easier for her by introducing our next player. The evil saint husband from Fiji!
"ZOMG YOU GUYS! You have to meet my super hot Fiji husband that makes everybody instantly jump out of their pants and drool like woah! And yeah, he's supposed to be taller and more gorgeous but with the way they wrote him, they couldn't find any African American actor filling all requirements. But that's ok, coz look! Muscles! His name is Gary Stu Birimwhatever. And haha, you better don't tell my future husband that my current one is a God!"
Meanwhile in London, a fascinating case is being solved by our favorite crime-fighters:
But let's not dwell on such complicated plotline when personal dramas are happening in the lab, ok?
So the current husband meets the future husband. It's not awkward coz Hodgins was raised in a rich, elitist family where they taught him how to shake hands with people whom in reality he'd prefer to poison. Plus you know, Birimwhatever is gorgeous. And charming. And taller. And better. And he tells the sappy story on all the bells ringing during his and Angela's wedding. You know, that amazingly romantic ceremony in Fiji that she kinda forgot about for a few years.
Still not awkward because they love each other and they're secure in their relationship. Or are they? dum dum dum...
So then the evil husband is like "dude, I will not give her a divorce because I'm a cheap plot device created solely to stir problems I still love her and I built her a freaking house!"
*cue in Morricone*
Fiiiiight!!! Because Jack loves Angela to death ergo he has no dignity left. And because he fucking wants that divorce already. And so does the 15% of the fandom that cares for other characters than B/B. And my poor flist who luckily has avoided the show and now is suffering through my constant bitching on the subject. So GIVE HER DIVORCE. GIVE HER DIVORCE.
And the evil husband is all "You sucker, we kissed! nah-nah-nah-nah!!!!". And Jack loses his temper. And I cheer. Oh the drama.
OMG the action! Jack is pissed. Birimwhatever is pissed. Sweets wants to step in because this is his area of expertise as well, but unfortunately he trips over his own feet and falls on his face. Because we're watching a cartoon. And then Jack gets thrown into the trash. Because he's not the main character so nobody cares.
Angela's MAD MAD MAD. Obviously, Hodgins didn't get the memo that fighting over a damsel is no longer trendy. Thank gods for Sweets and his professional advice on how men are idiots. One has to wonder how the team ever managed to function without such an amazing psychologist/consultant/profiler/mediator/therapist around.
So she takes him by the hand and it's just like in that Tegan&Sara/Al Green/Avril Lavigne/UB 40/Culture Beat/Joy Division/Seether/Neil Sedaka/Cascada/Sade song.
Everything's peachy except for Cam who is apparently against free porn on security cameras starring her co-workers.
And they kiss and the bells ring and the evil husband is defeated and I'd say something more intelligent, but I'm too busy melting.
One would think that this is a logical ending to a not-so-logical story. But since it's a not-so-logical story, it has to have a not-so-logical ending. Which we got in Hour 2, The Doom.
And I'm not sure if I want to picspam that part...
caps credit goes to phoenixothon
Feel free to ignore my ramblings and focus on pics =]
Our two victims protagonists:
I always skip the intro. Did we have the same shots last season? And is that Angela's shot from the S2 proposal scene?
Anyway, let's start our story, right?
Jack got British slime! So he's gonna be very busy. See, they might've taken away his personality, but at least he still has the same job on the team. Which is slime and bugs and dirt. It's important to repeat it a few times in every episode in case someone forgot.
This also means Angela might get bored and lonely while Jack is working playing with dirt. Let's make it easier for her by introducing our next player. The evil saint husband from Fiji!
"ZOMG YOU GUYS! You have to meet my super hot Fiji husband that makes everybody instantly jump out of their pants and drool like woah! And yeah, he's supposed to be taller and more gorgeous but with the way they wrote him, they couldn't find any African American actor filling all requirements. But that's ok, coz look! Muscles! His name is Gary Stu Birimwhatever. And haha, you better don't tell my future husband that my current one is a God!"
Meanwhile in London, a fascinating case is being solved by our favorite crime-fighters:
But let's not dwell on such complicated plotline when personal dramas are happening in the lab, ok?
So the current husband meets the future husband. It's not awkward coz Hodgins was raised in a rich, elitist family where they taught him how to shake hands with people whom in reality he'd prefer to poison. Plus you know, Birimwhatever is gorgeous. And charming. And taller. And better. And he tells the sappy story on all the bells ringing during his and Angela's wedding. You know, that amazingly romantic ceremony in Fiji that she kinda forgot about for a few years.
Still not awkward because they love each other and they're secure in their relationship. Or are they? dum dum dum...
So then the evil husband is like "dude, I will not give her a divorce because I'm a cheap plot device created solely to stir problems I still love her and I built her a freaking house!"
*cue in Morricone*
Fiiiiight!!! Because Jack loves Angela to death ergo he has no dignity left. And because he fucking wants that divorce already. And so does the 15% of the fandom that cares for other characters than B/B. And my poor flist who luckily has avoided the show and now is suffering through my constant bitching on the subject. So GIVE HER DIVORCE. GIVE HER DIVORCE.
And the evil husband is all "You sucker, we kissed! nah-nah-nah-nah!!!!". And Jack loses his temper. And I cheer. Oh the drama.
OMG the action! Jack is pissed. Birimwhatever is pissed. Sweets wants to step in because this is his area of expertise as well, but unfortunately he trips over his own feet and falls on his face. Because we're watching a cartoon. And then Jack gets thrown into the trash. Because he's not the main character so nobody cares.
Angela's MAD MAD MAD. Obviously, Hodgins didn't get the memo that fighting over a damsel is no longer trendy. Thank gods for Sweets and his professional advice on how men are idiots. One has to wonder how the team ever managed to function without such an amazing psychologist/consultant/profiler/mediator/therapist around.
So she takes him by the hand and it's just like in that Tegan&Sara/Al Green/Avril Lavigne/UB 40/Culture Beat/Joy Division/Seether/Neil Sedaka/Cascada/Sade song.
Everything's peachy except for Cam who is apparently against free porn on security cameras starring her co-workers.
And they kiss and the bells ring and the evil husband is defeated and I'd say something more intelligent, but I'm too busy melting.
One would think that this is a logical ending to a not-so-logical story. But since it's a not-so-logical story, it has to have a not-so-logical ending. Which we got in Hour 2, The Doom.
And I'm not sure if I want to picspam that part...
caps credit goes to phoenixothon