the familiar vs. the safe
I'm in unfamiliar territory in my life, yet again, as I have been almost continually over the last year and a half, and that continues to be a good thing.
I had a discussion with a friend last night in which the topic of safety was a key theme.
In response to something she said I replied with a tiny bit of common wisdom. It seems obvious, but it is an insight which has had some significant impact on my life over the last year or so. There is a distinct difference between just knowing something, and the kind of deep integration of an idea or concept that allows you to actually use it and have it impact your life.
Familiarity mimics safety.
When making decisions it's very easy to choose the thing, whatever it is, that follows a familiar pattern, rather than to choose the thing which is the healthiest, most life affirming, and therefore in actuality, the most safe.
The emotional reaction we have to the familiar is very similar to the emotional reaction we have when we are actually experiencing something safe and healthy. All of us have been through experiences in which we were hurt. So often we can look back at our lives, or the lives of those around us, and see patterns repeating which cause hurt and pain. It's not because we're idiots, (although it's easy to look back and wonder), it's because what is familiar often feels as though it is safer than the unfamiliar, even when it is not.
It takes a lot of strength and courage to break out of old patterns. It takes a lot of work and introspection just to recognize them so that you can even start to break out of them. It's important to give ourselves credit for being strong and courageous when we forge ahead through the unfamiliar into what is actually healthy and safe for us.
I had a discussion with a friend last night in which the topic of safety was a key theme.
In response to something she said I replied with a tiny bit of common wisdom. It seems obvious, but it is an insight which has had some significant impact on my life over the last year or so. There is a distinct difference between just knowing something, and the kind of deep integration of an idea or concept that allows you to actually use it and have it impact your life.
Familiarity mimics safety.
When making decisions it's very easy to choose the thing, whatever it is, that follows a familiar pattern, rather than to choose the thing which is the healthiest, most life affirming, and therefore in actuality, the most safe.
The emotional reaction we have to the familiar is very similar to the emotional reaction we have when we are actually experiencing something safe and healthy. All of us have been through experiences in which we were hurt. So often we can look back at our lives, or the lives of those around us, and see patterns repeating which cause hurt and pain. It's not because we're idiots, (although it's easy to look back and wonder), it's because what is familiar often feels as though it is safer than the unfamiliar, even when it is not.
It takes a lot of strength and courage to break out of old patterns. It takes a lot of work and introspection just to recognize them so that you can even start to break out of them. It's important to give ourselves credit for being strong and courageous when we forge ahead through the unfamiliar into what is actually healthy and safe for us.