HILARIOUS
A realllllly old post from back in the day
Note- The views of Sandra L. Rivas are not sanctioned in any way shape or form by Andrew J. Rivas and are soley those of insane mind of Sandra L. Rivas. By reading this note I am hereby waived of all responsibilty of any negative affects due to reading this LJ post.
READ WITH CAUTION
::here you go::
My fellow Americans... (and those few immigrants that my brother has chosen to consort with), peace be upon you.
I have a few things that have been irking me for quite a while, and I am going to express them today, hoping that someone out there will hear my plea for help, and take up the cause with me.
For those of you who have recently been rewarded by the state of New Jersey with the "privilege" of receiving your Driver's License, you may have perhaps realized that there are many dangers lurking on the road (one being my silver Nissan Altima...aka Hi- Ho-Silver). There is one hazard, however, which takes precedence over all others, and it takes the shape of a cute, furry little creature we know as a squirrel.
DO NOT BE FOOLED!!! Although they look harmless these evil little rodents have been spawned by Satan himself. They are on a mission to destroy our happy lives. They tear up our lawns, eat our electrical cables, but most annoyingly, throw themselves into the middle of the fucking street when you're doing 75 near the school, with the sole intention of making you slam on your brakes and crack your windshield with your head. I am certain, that these actions are part of a conspiracy backed by our state government and our local insurance agencies, in order to receive financial rewards, with no thought to our well being. SHAME ON YOU MCGREEVEY!
My brothers and sisters in this cause, if you have not yet swerved or braked for one of these deviants of social felicity, I commend you :: golf clap:: There is no greater satisfaction, than seeing a squirrel fried on top of a telephone pole, or plastered to the pavement.
This brings me to my second point. Clowns should be banned. They are simply the products of a disturbed mind on drugs, i.e. PCP, erego the group ICP (Insane Clown Posse). They have haunted my sleep for years, making me the frazzled human being that I am today. ::Andrew:: "I've interrupted this LJ to bring you an important update... Sandra is indeed a frazzled individual.. Need proof? Read this LJ." ::End Interruption::
I cannot deny what my brother says, but I am positive that my current state of mind is due to the worst Hollywood production EVER, namely "Killer Clowns from Outer Space". In the eyes of a 3 year old, it is possibly the most traumatic experience one can ever encounter, aside from a later production "Gigli", which I am fortunate enough not to have witnessed. Yay for me.
I propose the following: The immediate lynching of all clowns. Then we can all live in peace, and have happy dreams, about dandelions, and chocolates, and dead squirrels. Also, a new movie should be made about clowns. One about a clown who looks happy, but is really sad cuz he has chronic diahrrea. Then he dies. The End.
I hope you all support my eccentric viewpoint. If you have any questions, I don't care. But feel free to comment.
May the following R.I.P : RONALD W. REAGAN (Commander in Chief of the Continental Army), Tupac, B.I.G, the squirrel I just ran over, the Backstreet Boys and Carson Daly (they all died right?)
WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTTIN TO FUCK WIT!!!!! BEOTCH!!!
P.S. Bon Jour from Mr. Fish.
Note- The views of Sandra L. Rivas are not sanctioned in any way shape or form by Andrew J. Rivas and are soley those of insane mind of Sandra L. Rivas. By reading this note I am hereby waived of all responsibilty of any negative affects due to reading this LJ post.
READ WITH CAUTION
::here you go::
My fellow Americans... (and those few immigrants that my brother has chosen to consort with), peace be upon you.
I have a few things that have been irking me for quite a while, and I am going to express them today, hoping that someone out there will hear my plea for help, and take up the cause with me.
For those of you who have recently been rewarded by the state of New Jersey with the "privilege" of receiving your Driver's License, you may have perhaps realized that there are many dangers lurking on the road (one being my silver Nissan Altima...aka Hi- Ho-Silver). There is one hazard, however, which takes precedence over all others, and it takes the shape of a cute, furry little creature we know as a squirrel.
DO NOT BE FOOLED!!! Although they look harmless these evil little rodents have been spawned by Satan himself. They are on a mission to destroy our happy lives. They tear up our lawns, eat our electrical cables, but most annoyingly, throw themselves into the middle of the fucking street when you're doing 75 near the school, with the sole intention of making you slam on your brakes and crack your windshield with your head. I am certain, that these actions are part of a conspiracy backed by our state government and our local insurance agencies, in order to receive financial rewards, with no thought to our well being. SHAME ON YOU MCGREEVEY!
My brothers and sisters in this cause, if you have not yet swerved or braked for one of these deviants of social felicity, I commend you :: golf clap:: There is no greater satisfaction, than seeing a squirrel fried on top of a telephone pole, or plastered to the pavement.
This brings me to my second point. Clowns should be banned. They are simply the products of a disturbed mind on drugs, i.e. PCP, erego the group ICP (Insane Clown Posse). They have haunted my sleep for years, making me the frazzled human being that I am today. ::Andrew:: "I've interrupted this LJ to bring you an important update... Sandra is indeed a frazzled individual.. Need proof? Read this LJ." ::End Interruption::
I cannot deny what my brother says, but I am positive that my current state of mind is due to the worst Hollywood production EVER, namely "Killer Clowns from Outer Space". In the eyes of a 3 year old, it is possibly the most traumatic experience one can ever encounter, aside from a later production "Gigli", which I am fortunate enough not to have witnessed. Yay for me.
I propose the following: The immediate lynching of all clowns. Then we can all live in peace, and have happy dreams, about dandelions, and chocolates, and dead squirrels. Also, a new movie should be made about clowns. One about a clown who looks happy, but is really sad cuz he has chronic diahrrea. Then he dies. The End.
I hope you all support my eccentric viewpoint. If you have any questions, I don't care. But feel free to comment.
May the following R.I.P : RONALD W. REAGAN (Commander in Chief of the Continental Army), Tupac, B.I.G, the squirrel I just ran over, the Backstreet Boys and Carson Daly (they all died right?)
WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTTIN TO FUCK WIT!!!!! BEOTCH!!!
P.S. Bon Jour from Mr. Fish.