(no subject)
disclaimer: I am completely aware of the fact that I don't know how to date people, and that I am a giant 7th grader on the inside, you don't need to tell me.
I HATE BOYS SO MUCH. I am so sick of feeling like this. I try to be confident about it, but I can't, and I'm so quick to doubt my chances. and why do I have to get jealous like I did today? why? I don't want to be like that! I don't know how to read guys, I honestly don't get it. ex.: every time our shoulders or our knees were touching while we were sitting, he'd move, yet the last time we were hanging out he wasn't like that. and that girl that I don't even know and I now hate because it seemed like they were flirting but maybe not. and then when we were saying goodbye and he hugged me, it was a very lingering hug, and I wondered if it meant anything. but how the fuck would I know if it did or didn't? I'm too big of a wimp to make a move. I hate myself when I'm like this, and I hate myself for allowing this to happen. I'm so petty, and I can't stop myself. I wish I could take some novocaine to the brain and call it a day.
I HATE BOYS SO MUCH. I am so sick of feeling like this. I try to be confident about it, but I can't, and I'm so quick to doubt my chances. and why do I have to get jealous like I did today? why? I don't want to be like that! I don't know how to read guys, I honestly don't get it. ex.: every time our shoulders or our knees were touching while we were sitting, he'd move, yet the last time we were hanging out he wasn't like that. and that girl that I don't even know and I now hate because it seemed like they were flirting but maybe not. and then when we were saying goodbye and he hugged me, it was a very lingering hug, and I wondered if it meant anything. but how the fuck would I know if it did or didn't? I'm too big of a wimp to make a move. I hate myself when I'm like this, and I hate myself for allowing this to happen. I'm so petty, and I can't stop myself. I wish I could take some novocaine to the brain and call it a day.