I divorced one of you. I swear you are JUST like my ex.ladyariadneAugust 18 2008, 17:06:38 UTC
Every post you have put in recently lamenting your problems is so much what I lived for almost 20 years... wow.. this is scary.
It IS a bad thing. When you cant put it down and back away. When You CANT live without it. And you HAVE to have it.
You ARE failing Socially... when you cant interact with real people for more then a short time if at all. You cant meet people; you cant talk to people... And even when you get more involved via internet people You still really cant garner a real relationship, and I am not talking boy/girl friend wise...just people wise. you yourself have complained about this multiple times. All your great "intellectualness" does no good when you cant go into the world and have no LIFE.
Because when the drive and need to have and use this technology overblows common sense...
(some apply to you some may not, I am dealing with your and other tech geeks comments...you HAVE to have a new fancy computer when your older one COULD have done... or a less expensive new one COULD have done... You HAVE to go out and get the 500 dollar ugly pretend compu reminds me of star trek geek phones rather then a perfectly functional cheaper phone because you HAVE to have all these functions which you use like a small child and then never use again. You get your fancy video game system and then just cant come up for air. Or your wide screen TV... and SURROUND SOUND. )
Are these things cool? Sure.. But ya know... we would rather have a smaller tv and a computer less apt to handle WOW or HAlo because then MAYBE... Just MAYBE once in a while you would deal with us in the real world. maybe you would take care of yourself. Maybe you could actually play with your children.. I mean play.. Not Halo or a movie. Maybe enjoy a vacation camping in the woods or away from the world without having you get all anxious and sweating for the need to get back to the computer.
And getting your entertainment and video games is NOT by any stretch of the imagination building yourself up intellectually.
Re: I divorced one of you. I swear you are JUST like my ex.dregoryAugust 18 2008, 21:31:21 UTC
Being a female you can't possibily understand the isolation that men go through. Just being the gender you are puts you a hundred steps of one of us.
I did the whole social thing a lone time ago. It didn't improve anything. I was miserable. And poor. At least I'm miserable and I can spend time doing the things I want now. I find no joy being a social outcast in a social situation.
I am sorry, I put more time into expanding myself intellectiually then the majority of the world does working. It is the only thing I have left I enjoy. I learn about everything.
Funny, you should bring up the whole phone thing. I research the best phone at the best price point. I don't have an iphone, I have the knockoff iphone that is less trendy but more fuctional. How much did I pay for this phone? 150 dollars, How many people do you know that bought a POS generic flip phone for a hundred dollars? I don't use the phone part of my phone anyway. Never have, never will. I don't even come close to the 200 minutes a month I have. The voice plan is the biggest waste of cash in my budget. I use the fuctionality of my phone all the time. I stream music and video to it. I can have every media file on my home computer playing on my phone anywhere I can get a cell connection. I use my phone everyday to stream Sirius satelitte radio while I work. WHen the programs I listen to aren't on, I listen to my vast audiobook collection at a touch of a button.
I refuse to live the lie of pretending to be social anymore.
I am tired of lying to myself that I am gonna be popular or people will care about me. They don't, The sooner I accept and realize that the more happy I will be.
I've spent years watching humans and how they behave. It is all so deceitful and everyone is out for themselves. There is no genuine good left in the world. There are only thieves and people taking credit for the thefts.
I no longer choose to participate, and if that puts me in a box, so be it. I refuse to lie anymore.
You know what camping in the woods gets you? A bill for all the crap you bought to do it. Shitty food, bad sleeping conditions, and a sweaty fat guy doesn't make me a pleasant person. I've moved beyond marveling at mother nature on a camping level. I think about the bigger picture, and the nano-one. But hey if you find that pleasant, more power to you.
Video games will always be a part of my life. I am sorry if you can't see the benefits gained from playing them. There are benefits. We have moved beyond space invaders.
Halo sucks. Halo is the duploblock version of gaming I got over 12 years ago.
WoW is a constant handhold. It really is RPG's for dummies. I like to play it for the very reason why I avoid social sitatuins.
When I play WoW they see the inner me, they aren't jugding me on my outer appearances. That is exactly how I know the real world is full of liars and cheats. That is why I am popular there and not in the real world. That is how I know there is nothing wrong with me. Internally I have all the tools to be social and be popular. Its the bullshit of real life that turns me into a creepy creature from the black lagoon.
SO fuck it. Enjoy your make believe lives in the real world.
I gotta raid Kara in two hours, and you know what? 9 other people WANT me to be there.
That's more then I can say for my wifes family.
Mick Foley said it best, Real life is faker then wrestling.
Re: I divorced one of you. I swear you are JUST like my ex.dregoryAugust 19 2008, 01:21:55 UTC
I left because I had made a commitment to be there. If I remember correctly I spent the whole day with you. We hadn't planned on that and it wasn't like I was there for 20 minutes and left. I was there the vast majority of the day. If you plan to be a part of group for anything anywhere (online or not) and you say you're gonna be there, you should be there. I left at the last possible moment to get home on time. I wanted to be there with you, but I don't want to blow off the people who support me either. I was glad to have extra time to spend with you.
The vast majority of the time I couldn't chat with you I was at a critical part of my life with my son. We literally bonded for the first time right during that time and I tried to explain to you what was happening. I was also trying to spend more time with my wife at night when she was home in hope she wouldn't hate me as much. But she neither noticed, nor cared. In retrospect I would not do it again.
The problem is I can't find the diamonds, 100 percent of my past 10 years of friendships have come from the other person accepting me FIRST. If I used the same level of selection, I'd be a very very lonely man. Beggars can't be choosers.
I am so starved for human attention I would drive 4 hours in any direction for anything. The problem is no one cares. No one wants to know me. I just have to face facts.
Re: I divorced one of you. I swear you are JUST like my ex.dregoryAugust 19 2008, 03:44:16 UTC
Yes, the commitment I made prior to spending time with you. That is why they call it a fucking commitment. Its not show up whenever you feel like it.
Since we are being honest, sometimes I had to cut talking to you short because of your constant complaining. Is was bad enough that my wife said you were even doing it to her after I had gone away after listening for hours. It wasn't that I didn't care, its just when its most of the coversation dwells on it for a long period of time. So when it happened I had to remove myself. In person you didn't seem to do it as much, but online it was getting really tiresome.
You're right. I am struggling with my loneliness. And I know I'm a fucked up person in many ways.
I didn't start protesting about visiting family functions until a few years ago. I am sorry I am fucked up. I know I have shitty eating habits. Did they ever once go out of their way to offer to make me comfortable? NEVER. Everytime I visited I fucking starved. FOR EVERY HOLIDAY FOR YEARS!!! YEARS!!! Did they once offer anything to fix it even after they knew it? NEVER. Fuck em. Fuck em with a big donkey dick. My family would go out of their way to make people feel comfortable. It just boggles my mind how they could be so assholish. So I finially said fuck it. If they could give a shit about me, fuck them.
I am sorry if I make promises I intend to keep them. I am sorry I am loyal to those who support me even if they are online. I am sorry for not telling you, you were bugging the living shit out of me complaining. I didn't want to hurt you feelings. Everytime we talked, I tried to steer the conversation away from it. I have logs of every chat I've ever had. Would you like to go back over them and I can show you this in clear detail?
You got it all wrong. All I ever do is blame myself. And it has gotten to the point to where I have given up I know I am so fucked. I removed myself from all the things I used to use to try and meet people. The only reason I keep a livejournal is it is paid for. I don't even run my instant messaging programs anymore, its not like I got any messages to begin with. I am just trying to control what little I have left in my life.
At this point I don't even think about myself anymore. I just don't want to fuck up my kid. And all I am doing is grasping for a string here and there to pull myself up from the dark void of death.
Re: I divorced one of you. I swear you are JUST like my ex.ladyariadneAugust 19 2008, 08:46:08 UTC
>Being a female you can't possibily understand the isolation that men go >through. Just being the gender you are puts you a hundred steps of one of us.
Just making that comment really shows how ignorant you really are. I am a science fiction gamer female. i had more isolation then you can even BEGIN to fathom.
As far as some of t examples I did say only SOme were directly you, some were other men in similar situations as you with the GOTTA have IT tech thing who are now divorced or in the process of.
Camping was just an example.. but maybe if you GOT out more, and did more active REAL stuff rather then video games you wouldnt BE the fat person you complain about. I know its hard. I am overweight myself and face the same problems.
Part of it also is having the ability to get away from the tech. Doesnt have to be camping, but if you cant stay away from it... if you CANT then YES it is a problem.
You tell me what benefits you as a big fat man are getting from video games. You arent becoming a fighter pilot. You arent improving your life in anyway. there are no aliens going to come down and have you save the world. I like games myself. But it comes to EXCESSIVENESS! You have admitted to Excessiveness. AT that point it crosses froma fun past time to BAD. When you would choose a game over your kid or wife.. and I would bet you have.
In WOW they are not seeing the inner you. that is such the lie. No one is sayin the world is not full of liars and cheats. i see that in the REAL world and did not have to get into WOW to see this. I dont see your reasoning in this.
You are losing you wife and child, your health and your sanity. Sure its a lot easier to want to go into a fake world. But that isnt going to solve your problems.
It IS a bad thing. When you cant put it down and back away. When You CANT live without it. And you HAVE to have it.
You ARE failing Socially... when you cant interact with real people for more then a short time if at all. You cant meet people; you cant talk to people... And even when you get more involved via internet people You still really cant garner a real relationship, and I am not talking boy/girl friend wise...just people wise. you yourself have complained about this multiple times. All your great "intellectualness" does no good when you cant go into the world and have no LIFE.
Because when the drive and need to have and use this technology overblows common sense...
(some apply to you some may not, I am dealing with your and other tech geeks comments...you HAVE to have a new fancy computer when your older one COULD have done... or a less expensive new one COULD have done... You HAVE to go out and get the 500 dollar ugly pretend compu reminds me of star trek geek phones rather then a perfectly functional cheaper phone because you HAVE to have all these functions which you use like a small child and then never use again. You get your fancy video game system and then just cant come up for air. Or your wide screen TV... and SURROUND SOUND. )
Are these things cool? Sure.. But ya know... we would rather have a smaller tv and a computer less apt to handle WOW or HAlo because then MAYBE... Just MAYBE once in a while you would deal with us in the real world. maybe you would take care of yourself. Maybe you could actually play with your children.. I mean play.. Not Halo or a movie. Maybe enjoy a vacation camping in the woods or away from the world without having you get all anxious and sweating for the need to get back to the computer.
And getting your entertainment and video games is NOT by any stretch of the imagination building yourself up intellectually.
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Reply
I did the whole social thing a lone time ago. It didn't improve anything. I was miserable. And poor. At least I'm miserable and I can spend time doing the things I want now. I find no joy being a social outcast in a social situation.
I am sorry, I put more time into expanding myself intellectiually then the majority of the world does working. It is the only thing I have left I enjoy. I learn about everything.
Funny, you should bring up the whole phone thing. I research the best phone at the best price point. I don't have an iphone, I have the knockoff iphone that is less trendy but more fuctional. How much did I pay for this phone? 150 dollars, How many people do you know that bought a POS generic flip phone for a hundred dollars? I don't use the phone part of my phone anyway. Never have, never will. I don't even come close to the 200 minutes a month I have. The voice plan is the biggest waste of cash in my budget. I use the fuctionality of my phone all the time. I stream music and video to it. I can have every media file on my home computer playing on my phone anywhere I can get a cell connection. I use my phone everyday to stream Sirius satelitte radio while I work. WHen the programs I listen to aren't on, I listen to my vast audiobook collection at a touch of a button.
I refuse to live the lie of pretending to be social anymore.
I am tired of lying to myself that I am gonna be popular or people will care about me. They don't, The sooner I accept and realize that the more happy I will be.
I've spent years watching humans and how they behave. It is all so deceitful and everyone is out for themselves. There is no genuine good left in the world. There are only thieves and people taking credit for the thefts.
I no longer choose to participate, and if that puts me in a box, so be it. I refuse to lie anymore.
You know what camping in the woods gets you? A bill for all the crap you bought to do it. Shitty food, bad sleeping conditions, and a sweaty fat guy doesn't make me a pleasant person. I've moved beyond marveling at mother nature on a camping level. I think about the bigger picture, and the nano-one. But hey if you find that pleasant, more power to you.
Video games will always be a part of my life. I am sorry if you can't see the benefits gained from playing them. There are benefits. We have moved beyond space invaders.
Halo sucks. Halo is the duploblock version of gaming I got over 12 years ago.
WoW is a constant handhold. It really is RPG's for dummies. I like to play it for the very reason why I avoid social sitatuins.
When I play WoW they see the inner me, they aren't jugding me on my outer appearances. That is exactly how I know the real world is full of liars and cheats. That is why I am popular there and not in the real world. That is how I know there is nothing wrong with me. Internally I have all the tools to be social and be popular. Its the bullshit of real life that turns me into a creepy creature from the black lagoon.
SO fuck it. Enjoy your make believe lives in the real world.
I gotta raid Kara in two hours, and you know what? 9 other people WANT me to be there.
That's more then I can say for my wifes family.
Mick Foley said it best, Real life is faker then wrestling.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
The vast majority of the time I couldn't chat with you I was at a critical part of my life with my son. We literally bonded for the first time right during that time and I tried to explain to you what was happening. I was also trying to spend more time with my wife at night when she was home in hope she wouldn't hate me as much. But she neither noticed, nor cared. In retrospect I would not do it again.
The problem is I can't find the diamonds, 100 percent of my past 10 years of friendships have come from the other person accepting me FIRST. If I used the same level of selection, I'd be a very very lonely man. Beggars can't be choosers.
I am so starved for human attention I would drive 4 hours in any direction for anything. The problem is no one cares. No one wants to know me. I just have to face facts.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Since we are being honest, sometimes I had to cut talking to you short because of your constant complaining. Is was bad enough that my wife said you were even doing it to her after I had gone away after listening for hours. It wasn't that I didn't care, its just when its most of the coversation dwells on it for a long period of time. So when it happened I had to remove myself. In person you didn't seem to do it as much, but online it was getting really tiresome.
You're right. I am struggling with my loneliness. And I know I'm a fucked up person in many ways.
I didn't start protesting about visiting family functions until a few years ago. I am sorry I am fucked up. I know I have shitty eating habits. Did they ever once go out of their way to offer to make me comfortable? NEVER. Everytime I visited I fucking starved. FOR EVERY HOLIDAY FOR YEARS!!! YEARS!!! Did they once offer anything to fix it even after they knew it? NEVER. Fuck em. Fuck em with a big donkey dick. My family would go out of their way to make people feel comfortable. It just boggles my mind how they could be so assholish. So I finially said fuck it. If they could give a shit about me, fuck them.
I am sorry if I make promises I intend to keep them. I am sorry I am loyal to those who support me even if they are online. I am sorry for not telling you, you were bugging the living shit out of me complaining. I didn't want to hurt you feelings. Everytime we talked, I tried to steer the conversation away from it. I have logs of every chat I've ever had. Would you like to go back over them and I can show you this in clear detail?
You got it all wrong. All I ever do is blame myself. And it has gotten to the point to where I have given up I know I am so fucked. I removed myself from all the things I used to use to try and meet people. The only reason I keep a livejournal is it is paid for. I don't even run my instant messaging programs anymore, its not like I got any messages to begin with. I am just trying to control what little I have left in my life.
At this point I don't even think about myself anymore. I just don't want to fuck up my kid. And all I am doing is grasping for a string here and there to pull myself up from the dark void of death.
Reply
Just making that comment really shows how ignorant you really are. I am a science fiction gamer female. i had more isolation then you can even BEGIN to fathom.
As far as some of t examples I did say only SOme were directly you, some were other men in similar situations as you with the GOTTA have IT tech thing who are now divorced or in the process of.
Camping was just an example.. but maybe if you GOT out more, and did more active REAL stuff rather then video games you wouldnt BE the fat person you complain about. I know its hard. I am overweight myself and face the same problems.
Part of it also is having the ability to get away from the tech. Doesnt have to be camping, but if you cant stay away from it... if you CANT then YES it is a problem.
You tell me what benefits you as a big fat man are getting from video games. You arent becoming a fighter pilot. You arent improving your life in anyway. there are no aliens going to come down and have you save the world. I like games myself. But it comes to EXCESSIVENESS! You have admitted to Excessiveness. AT that point it crosses froma fun past time to BAD. When you would choose a game over your kid or wife.. and I would bet you have.
In WOW they are not seeing the inner you. that is such the lie. No one is sayin the world is not full of liars and cheats. i see that in the REAL world and did not have to get into WOW to see this. I dont see your reasoning in this.
You are losing you wife and child, your health and your sanity. Sure its a lot easier to want to go into a fake world. But that isnt going to solve your problems.
I pity you.
Reply
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