Help, I'm stepping into the Twilight Zone...
"It's 2 a.m.,
Here at dawn..."
Here I go again, unable to sleep as usual. My insomnia has always been something of a nuisance, but this is just getting ridiculous! I have had--maybe--all of 6 hours of actual sleep in the last 48; last saturday was the first time in the last coupla weeks that I actually got more than the average six hours in one night...
This is nothing new, of course: I've been like this off and on since I was a teenager. I'm naturally a night-person, anyway, which doesn't help matters much. And I have prolly tried every remedy known for sleeplessness that there is, without much success. Reading books will sometimes help, although if it's a really good book chances are that I will stay wide-awake and totally engrossed in the story.
Speaking of which...
During a particularly bad bout some years ago, I read a story aptly named 'Insomnia', by Stephen King, which was on my mind today while I was at work. Without getting too heavily into the plot here, it is about an elderly man who has trouble sleeping, oddly enough. But it soon turns out that he is actually being brought to a new level of consciousness by a secret race of beings who live on a different plane of existence, in order to enlist his aid in repairing something which has gone terribly wrong here on our plane.... (A pretty wild story, to be sure--it is Stephen King, after all.)
The reason I mention all this is because of how King described the way this character felt and what he went through, while he was dealing with his lack of sleep: a general sort of sluggishness, but not actually a lack of energy or perception; a way of seeing things that were there and yet not there. He worried he was going insane, but knew in his heart that there was something else that was happening to him. It seems that I can relate.
I think that that is what I am feeling, at times; that I am somehow changing, evolving, becoming something more than what I had previously known to be possible. Rather than fight it, I am learning to confront the anxiety and just open myself to the experience as it comes. Whatever the reason for it, more will be revealed as I go forward.
If you have read any of my past posts, you may have seen that I'm not always suffering from a terminal case of smart-assedness, or ranting about the mundania of daily Life--that there are moments sublime which I also try to include in my scribblings herein. While I don't necessarily write about those as much as I perhaps should, they do happen with alarming frequency. At times it can be a little...overwhelming.
I believe that I'm not alone in this, that most people are capable of having similar experiences. The evidence is all around us, we just normally choose not to see it. Or, in seeing it most tend not to believe in it.
My apologies to anyone if this has been a bit too weird to follow. I'm just feeling overly serious at this moment.
And I really, really want to go to sleep.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
Here at dawn..."
Here I go again, unable to sleep as usual. My insomnia has always been something of a nuisance, but this is just getting ridiculous! I have had--maybe--all of 6 hours of actual sleep in the last 48; last saturday was the first time in the last coupla weeks that I actually got more than the average six hours in one night...
This is nothing new, of course: I've been like this off and on since I was a teenager. I'm naturally a night-person, anyway, which doesn't help matters much. And I have prolly tried every remedy known for sleeplessness that there is, without much success. Reading books will sometimes help, although if it's a really good book chances are that I will stay wide-awake and totally engrossed in the story.
Speaking of which...
During a particularly bad bout some years ago, I read a story aptly named 'Insomnia', by Stephen King, which was on my mind today while I was at work. Without getting too heavily into the plot here, it is about an elderly man who has trouble sleeping, oddly enough. But it soon turns out that he is actually being brought to a new level of consciousness by a secret race of beings who live on a different plane of existence, in order to enlist his aid in repairing something which has gone terribly wrong here on our plane.... (A pretty wild story, to be sure--it is Stephen King, after all.)
The reason I mention all this is because of how King described the way this character felt and what he went through, while he was dealing with his lack of sleep: a general sort of sluggishness, but not actually a lack of energy or perception; a way of seeing things that were there and yet not there. He worried he was going insane, but knew in his heart that there was something else that was happening to him. It seems that I can relate.
I think that that is what I am feeling, at times; that I am somehow changing, evolving, becoming something more than what I had previously known to be possible. Rather than fight it, I am learning to confront the anxiety and just open myself to the experience as it comes. Whatever the reason for it, more will be revealed as I go forward.
If you have read any of my past posts, you may have seen that I'm not always suffering from a terminal case of smart-assedness, or ranting about the mundania of daily Life--that there are moments sublime which I also try to include in my scribblings herein. While I don't necessarily write about those as much as I perhaps should, they do happen with alarming frequency. At times it can be a little...overwhelming.
I believe that I'm not alone in this, that most people are capable of having similar experiences. The evidence is all around us, we just normally choose not to see it. Or, in seeing it most tend not to believe in it.
My apologies to anyone if this has been a bit too weird to follow. I'm just feeling overly serious at this moment.
And I really, really want to go to sleep.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.