All that Remains didn't quite suck.
Surprising, they were really good in concert. But that's beside the point. In the past 2 months I have made out with over 10 people, gone on 7 dates, and have been guilty and disappointed the whole time. Every guy sucks. No one has anything in common with me: they don't read, don't write, don't like foreign films, don't like documentaries, don't like metal, and don't match with me. Maybe its because they aren't him, I just don't know. I know he's out there, somewhere, and someday I'll find him. But in the meantime, I just want someone to cuddle with, someone to look me in the eyes, someone to hold my hand....is that so much to ask for?
I love all of my friends. But I drink too much, I'm out every night, or I'm bartending and we all get loaded. I've met so many kickass people through that medium. I've tackled this city, now what's new??? In the past month: I've been the "band-aid" - just chillen on tour buses, been working out, and reading my kafka. I lost the essay contest: second place, booo! I'm finally answering my phone again, I actually like talking for 2 hours about all random crap again. Maybe my meds are finally working? About that, I'm going to ask to be changed to an anti-depressant rather than a mood stabilizer, or add it on. Not getting out of bed just, well it just sucks.
Jessy comes home in 2 weeks! Hatebreed is in two weeks! And my internship ends in 3, as does the semester! So excited. And I have a photo shoot, weight dependent of course. I need to stop drinking so much and maybe I'll finally lose those pesky 5 pounds...its all in my friggen face/arms..ugh.
Getting my Cold spiders on Monday...so excited, just wish I had someone to come with and hold my hand.
Still no sex...2 months and counting...oh abstinence...I wonder if anyone will get me to break that again.
Please send positive thoughts to me....I really need positivity, I'm beginning to fail at life again....ugh...and I truly don't want too, I want it to be all just ducky...there's no reason why it shouldn't be. Well aside from a few things.
I was supposed to be on Tool Academy but that fell through. But my sorority sister is on it this season, so excited to watch her. But it would have been kick ass had the two of us been on there! :-/ I cannot believe it fell through, I was casted and everything...he fucked it up! ugh.
"I could see it as you turned to stone
Still clearly I can hear you say
Don't leave don't give up on me
Two weeks and you ran away
I remember don't lie to me
You couldn't see that it was not that way
Swear I never gave up on you"
~All that Remains~
I love all of my friends. But I drink too much, I'm out every night, or I'm bartending and we all get loaded. I've met so many kickass people through that medium. I've tackled this city, now what's new??? In the past month: I've been the "band-aid" - just chillen on tour buses, been working out, and reading my kafka. I lost the essay contest: second place, booo! I'm finally answering my phone again, I actually like talking for 2 hours about all random crap again. Maybe my meds are finally working? About that, I'm going to ask to be changed to an anti-depressant rather than a mood stabilizer, or add it on. Not getting out of bed just, well it just sucks.
Jessy comes home in 2 weeks! Hatebreed is in two weeks! And my internship ends in 3, as does the semester! So excited. And I have a photo shoot, weight dependent of course. I need to stop drinking so much and maybe I'll finally lose those pesky 5 pounds...its all in my friggen face/arms..ugh.
Getting my Cold spiders on Monday...so excited, just wish I had someone to come with and hold my hand.
Still no sex...2 months and counting...oh abstinence...I wonder if anyone will get me to break that again.
Please send positive thoughts to me....I really need positivity, I'm beginning to fail at life again....ugh...and I truly don't want too, I want it to be all just ducky...there's no reason why it shouldn't be. Well aside from a few things.
I was supposed to be on Tool Academy but that fell through. But my sorority sister is on it this season, so excited to watch her. But it would have been kick ass had the two of us been on there! :-/ I cannot believe it fell through, I was casted and everything...he fucked it up! ugh.
"I could see it as you turned to stone
Still clearly I can hear you say
Don't leave don't give up on me
Two weeks and you ran away
I remember don't lie to me
You couldn't see that it was not that way
Swear I never gave up on you"
~All that Remains~