a little light
Ok so of course i'm still sick but hey if i'm known to always be smilling i might as well just smile and tuff it out. i know i only just reached for sympathy less than 24 hours ago but i give up. i did get some however. Sabina and i will hang tonight if god or Tati permits it and Eliah called and we were supposed to hang today and if i can blow tati off, Sabina and Eliah will be the highlights of my day. What kind of bothers me the people to who i reached out excluding sabina and eliah we're treating me like a whinny baby even if when they would complain about the dummnest things like their parents getting too small a gift or refusing they go somewhere i would kinda be like "those bastards" and not be like "well theres a good reason for such and such and you should of known better" i was really ticked off by that person who totally ignored the fact that i didn't really want advice i really just wanted someone to sympathize with me. Logic is useless to someone is such distress i think. it's like eating chips and ice cream while walking on a treadmil post breakup. it doesn't have to make sense. temporary comfort would have been the greatest gift at the present time. Oh well i guess i should reach out to the people who make most sense like the people who expect a shoulder and i know i can expect the shoulder.
As for Eliah, I'm not sure if it's like some weird friendship, our meetings are so weird and so often cut short i'm not even sure what he wants from me. if it's a friendship or a relationship or a reconnection with the DP groupe he used to play chess with. well it's not like i call him every week and intigrate myself in his life. Honestly i'm really curious about him and theres so much i like about him, he's so calm and grounded even when he doesn't seem that way and he has crazy plans of hitch hicking across the USA. I feel so nervous around him and i want to hang out even if i know i don't have time. all our hangouts are at his place and we're alone and honestly i like hanging there but no sparks have flown i don't want to get the wrong idea and i don't want to put a move on him if i'm not sure because if it's not the heart then things might get really awkward and i would be perfectly happy with a friendship but not friendships that start awkwardly.
Anyways i'll probably find out tonight. As i will hang with him at his place once again. (god i love his appartment)
As for Eliah, I'm not sure if it's like some weird friendship, our meetings are so weird and so often cut short i'm not even sure what he wants from me. if it's a friendship or a relationship or a reconnection with the DP groupe he used to play chess with. well it's not like i call him every week and intigrate myself in his life. Honestly i'm really curious about him and theres so much i like about him, he's so calm and grounded even when he doesn't seem that way and he has crazy plans of hitch hicking across the USA. I feel so nervous around him and i want to hang out even if i know i don't have time. all our hangouts are at his place and we're alone and honestly i like hanging there but no sparks have flown i don't want to get the wrong idea and i don't want to put a move on him if i'm not sure because if it's not the heart then things might get really awkward and i would be perfectly happy with a friendship but not friendships that start awkwardly.
Anyways i'll probably find out tonight. As i will hang with him at his place once again. (god i love his appartment)