Stop... and Start Over Again
I feel like sometimes I must have ADD, but i couldnt have always had it, it must be like something that developed in the last few months, or weeks or... the point of this is I think that I failed my spanish final... meaning i probably didnt pass the class... meaning i wont graduate on time... meaning im screwed and this hits me like a ton of bricks
or a big truck, you decide.
a range of people tried to consol me, it didnt seem to help much, i have a hard time explaining to people that I am a solutions man, that there are few heavy hitting things that I go thru that i get majorly emotional to (as in where i need a crying shoulder, not saying that i was really upset on the verge of tears over this, its just that i didnt want to get up set, it wouldnt help). I had a friend, well summerdreamer that gave me a harsh reality that helped more then she knows, she even gave me a class that i could take next semmester to fix it all. Yes its every day from 7:45am till 9:30, meaning my night life would suck, but then again, i did this to myself... or did I?
I really dont know how to get back on track, the irony of my life is that job world is fine, i have a great job at apple right now with ambitious goals to start my own business, i see the model before my eyes and success as achivable... but a lot weighs on graduating, which now has been messed up.
vengeance2202 also made me feel a bit better, she was a bit harsh on the internet and kinda hurt my feelings but she was much nicer in person. her friends were all very cute, but too young and I had to hold back, but i certainly will take her up on her offer to take out her friend Megan sometime, i really want to/enjoy dating... i love getting to know someone, going to dinner, a movie, dancing, drinks... that excitement, its something i feel ive missed.
I should sleep... i have work tomorrow, i feel like im in a big void, im overloaded, stressed, and shut down. Sleep seems like a wonderful escape, that I could just do that, all day long and live in a dream. but i cant really run away, i have to solve this problem, i have to deal with it, and get it worked out, thats the only solution.
anyways, thats all thats going on for now, not like the internet really cares about how i feel about my life... but its nice to put it out there once and a while, maybe a wandering person will read it and relate, and let me know, then i wont feel so isolated and lost... hmmm lost...
or a big truck, you decide.
a range of people tried to consol me, it didnt seem to help much, i have a hard time explaining to people that I am a solutions man, that there are few heavy hitting things that I go thru that i get majorly emotional to (as in where i need a crying shoulder, not saying that i was really upset on the verge of tears over this, its just that i didnt want to get up set, it wouldnt help). I had a friend, well summerdreamer that gave me a harsh reality that helped more then she knows, she even gave me a class that i could take next semmester to fix it all. Yes its every day from 7:45am till 9:30, meaning my night life would suck, but then again, i did this to myself... or did I?
I really dont know how to get back on track, the irony of my life is that job world is fine, i have a great job at apple right now with ambitious goals to start my own business, i see the model before my eyes and success as achivable... but a lot weighs on graduating, which now has been messed up.
vengeance2202 also made me feel a bit better, she was a bit harsh on the internet and kinda hurt my feelings but she was much nicer in person. her friends were all very cute, but too young and I had to hold back, but i certainly will take her up on her offer to take out her friend Megan sometime, i really want to/enjoy dating... i love getting to know someone, going to dinner, a movie, dancing, drinks... that excitement, its something i feel ive missed.
I should sleep... i have work tomorrow, i feel like im in a big void, im overloaded, stressed, and shut down. Sleep seems like a wonderful escape, that I could just do that, all day long and live in a dream. but i cant really run away, i have to solve this problem, i have to deal with it, and get it worked out, thats the only solution.
anyways, thats all thats going on for now, not like the internet really cares about how i feel about my life... but its nice to put it out there once and a while, maybe a wandering person will read it and relate, and let me know, then i wont feel so isolated and lost... hmmm lost...