ok so i lied
aspects of cali were amazing. others were not. I have officially been kicked out of my cousins house. It's a fuckin long ass story which i dont delving into at the moment. so i'm not going to. unless for some reason i really feel like talking to you about it...whatever. I'm in CT again. Somehow i keep ending up back where i started and i am tired of that. I'm sad things didnt work out there. I'm angry that my cousin has emotional issues and that she took her frustration out on me. I am angry that she contacted my parents, her parents and my grandparents.. leaving on all of their answering machines, rants about what a bad kid i am and so on. I'm tired of feeling like i don't belong anywhere. Like this year was a waste for me. Life just didnt work out...at least not this year. But G-d willing when i attend school in the fall i will love it and life will love me and things will not be as shitty as they feel right now.
I miss my boy. I was supposed to go back to LA this coming sunday, 10 days from my departure from LAX to EWR. Only 10 days without seeing him, and now i dont knwo when the next time will be. I just want to be wrapped up in his arms, breathing him in. It's always distance. always. fuck! i'm so frustrated and i miss him entirely too much. I'm so sad. I'm disapointed. I could finally trust, realllly trust. entirely. so much so that i wanted to be intimately involved with someone and poof! fuck you elysia try again next time.
I'm lacking in judaism, im not keeping shabbat to the max anymore and now with all this shit on my plate i just dont have the energy. so AHHHH GRR SFJFOERFJEORIJOREJFOFFJ THIS sucks!
crying.
I miss my boy. I was supposed to go back to LA this coming sunday, 10 days from my departure from LAX to EWR. Only 10 days without seeing him, and now i dont knwo when the next time will be. I just want to be wrapped up in his arms, breathing him in. It's always distance. always. fuck! i'm so frustrated and i miss him entirely too much. I'm so sad. I'm disapointed. I could finally trust, realllly trust. entirely. so much so that i wanted to be intimately involved with someone and poof! fuck you elysia try again next time.
I'm lacking in judaism, im not keeping shabbat to the max anymore and now with all this shit on my plate i just dont have the energy. so AHHHH GRR SFJFOERFJEORIJOREJFOFFJ THIS sucks!
crying.