My aim is true
So Tariem sent me this song that he's been dying for me to hear, he said to me "it's called Alison, and it reminds me of you." So I finally got around to listening to it... and it's a cover of "Alison" by Elvis Costello. The most depressingly sweet song with my name attached to it. Also, "Muscles for Michelle" (it seems i'm the only one who's ever heard of it) has also been covered, why are all the songs of my childhood making a comeback?
Sorry, that was a total side note... the actual title of this entry has nothing to do with elvis costello, but actually another song...
"I keep making these to-do lists but nothing gets crossed out."
The best phrase to describe me lately is "hot mess." My first semester of grad school ended on tuesday. From thanksgiving until 6 p.m. December 13th, I was a crazy hot mess of college fair, final exams, papers, service, lights of liberty, and everything in between. And now... well... I vaccuumed my living room for the first time in about two months tonight. Today I just took a big sigh of relief and became a human being again. I am hoping my CMs can forgive me for my scatterbrained, short temperedness over the last few weeks.
I wasn't meant for this job. I love my kids, i love my work in the student success center, but I am not cut out for service leader life. I am tired of feeling as though I need to be in 18 different places at one time; I am tired of my CMs lying to me; I am tired of feeling stupid; I am tired of standing outside in 20 degree weather in circles that don't convey any pertienent information; I am tired of getting caught up in stupid CY drama; I AM JUST TIRED. All in all though, I know that when it's all over i'll miss it. So I'm going to shut the fuck up and stop whining :)
"Spinning on the dizzy edge, I kissed [his] face, I kissed [his] head... "
(side note: speaking of covers, i'm listening to the cover of "just like heaven" which is why the genders are switched in the quote ) One of the biggest reasons for the hot mess-ness that I have been living in is my nack for procrastination that I have. I've been spending lots of time with andy. It's good. It's really good.
"Sometimes I see myself fine, sometimes I need a witness. And I like the whole truth, but there are nights I only need forgiveness. Sometimes they say 'I don't know who you are, but let me walk with you some.' And I say, 'I am alone, that's all, you can't save me, from all the wrong I've done.' But there waiting just the same... and I'll act like I have faith, and like that faith never ends, but i really just have friends."
Yeah... that's all.