Blah
Well it has been 3 odd days. Talked to Brad alot a couple of days ago, but then we just stopped talking for 3 days now. He hasnt even been home from what his parents are saying. O well, nothing I can do. It just hurts that he wouldnt call me and let me know kind of whats going on. He said he'd call me when he got back 3 days ago. I know he's with his new boyfriend, which just makes me want to vomit and then go jump off a bridge. I dont even know whats going on at ALL! I mean the way we talk on the phone and stuff just seems like he wants to come back, but then this shit happens. I am in so much pain, I cant take it. I am just so damn confused. I want to let go, but then there is that hope he might come back and I dont want to fuck it up. I've fucked up enouph and I cant do it again. I just need it to make sense to ma, though its not going to. Its so hard to do the things I say I am going to do. I mean to just let go, to not talk to him, its just so damn hard. To know that there is only one person right now that can make me smile, to make me happy, to make me feel good, is sick. Makes me feel useless. I dont even know if I feel love. It doesnt seem like it exists. I cant find anyone to talk to that will make me forget him anymore, and that is just so damn displeasing to even think. It hurts to know that I have brought myself so far down. Down to a piont where it seems I need someone to be strong. Is it wrong?
Uso Mitai Na I Love You!
You're doin' it again, you know
Sometimes I don't even know who you are
And I don't think you know how bad it hurts
'Cause you don't have to see the scars
If you knew how bad you made me feel
You'd never do a thing like this again
But if it's just a game you're playing
I don't think I'll make it to the end
I don't think I'd last that long
baby, I'm not that strong
So if you care about me you've gotta stop acting this way
Or I'm leavin' today
I'll say goodbye to my favorite face
Don't wanna go, but I just can't stay
And be treated, I won't be treated this way
At times I think I love you
And at times I know I've finally found the one
But it's times like this that make me feel
The game of love has only just begun
You know I'd never leave
But making threats to you could be the only way
I love everything about you
But when I'm in doubt then something's gotta change
I saw you there last night
Standing in the dark
You were acting so in love
With your hand upon his heart
But you were just friends
At least that's what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I've had other options too
But all I want is you
Girl, your body fits me like a glove
And you showered me with words of love
While you were just friends
At least that's what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
It's not my style to lay it on the line
But you don't leave me with a choice this time
Why weren't you true
You know I, I trusted you
When you were just friends
At least that's what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
You were just friends
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I'll forgive you
"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." - Thomas Szasz
"In order for people to be happy, sometimes they have to take risks. It's true these risks can put them in danger of being hurt." - Meg Cabot
Avenger97320...cute....phoenix...19
Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure." - William Saroyan
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."
"Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about." - Lynn Johnston
"We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take us or spare us." - Marcel Proust
"It's always helpful to learn from your mistakes because then your mistakes seem worthwhile." - Garry Marshall
"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." - Harriet Beecher Stowe
"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." - H.L. Hunt
"Prayer doesn't change things. It changes people and they change things."
"It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees." - Dolores Ibarruri
"When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things" - Joe Namath
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything." - Frank Dane
"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." - Gracie Allen
"For every action there is an equal and opposite government program." - Bob Wells
Well there are some quotes and stuff. :-)
I started reading one of the books I bought 2 weeks ago. Two boys, At swim. It is starting off really boring, but I heard it was good, so I am going to read it all. The book is very hard to comprehend, kind of has irish slang and stuff. Tis cool though.
Quote from book " All love does ever rightly show humanity our tenderness," Nancy. So true. :-)
Well James came down Saterday night and he spent the night. We had fun, not much to do, but we just hung out. I rented 4 movies....Lol. There was a special so I just went all out. Only costs me 6 dolla :-) I got Spanglish, Alfie, Oceans 12, and Maria Full of Grace, I also took Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind from the salon to watch. I was going to be nice and have Brad come over and watch Maria with me, but he never called me back. Well so far I watched Spanglish, it was good! Lol. One FUCKED up family. The funniest part was when we walked into the glass and when the grandma said to her daughter that she needed a hose. OMG I was about to piss my pants, :-D I also showed James Sex and the City. Dont know if he liked it, but he lauphed. I love the show!!!!!!! We talked alot too. He had to go home early cause I had work and so did he. It was fun. Last night I had Danielle spend the night. First we went walking on the track and walked around Hubbard till 10:00 PM.... Fun Fun fun. We watched Maria Full of Grace. OMG was it one damn good movie. Its one of my favorites so far. Brad is going to love it! I think I am going to go buy it tommorow. Poeple who like to watch movies, and wont mind seeing this type of movie, MUST SEE IT! And that damn Sonic game was not what I thought and kind of makes me angry that I bought it! Grrrrrrrr. Ohh well. I had problems with my MP3 Player. Had to take it back! I was so pissed! I am thinking of getting another one soon. Hopefully this one isnt a pieced of shit. Grrrrrr. Bad Bad summer so far, with exception of a few things.
OMG. I cant wait and it is coming out near the end of this month! Ohh so many games to get :-)
Well I am out for now. I think I am going to iether read or play a new game.
Ohh I beat Suikoden 4..Lol. Finally! It was good. The ending could've been longer and better, but all out I liked it. I still think the older ones were alot better than any of the new ones. Try them out, IF you can get your hands one them. :-). Very hard to find and they are Exspensive.
Lata