Akame Diary Part 2
Sunday 16 May 15:00 o’clock
Dear live-journal,
At first I guess, I have to apologize for writing only once a week. And second I guess I also have to apologize for using always so lousy excuses for not writing like: “I had no time.” It’s really a lousy excuse since I’m simply too lazy to write every day.
Well, you are asking yourself probably why I’m writing such crap, but you know I have now lots of time to write, because I need to distract myself.
From what you are asking!
To tell you why I have lots of time to write here, I have to tell you what has happened the last week.
You surely remember what I told you last week about that cute guy who is working in the convince store near my house, where Yamapi used to work.
Well, I actually had some stupid phase. I sometimes act really too fast.
Instead of asking him some stupid question like: “Sorry, but could you show me where I can find this and this?” I asked him immediately out. (Actually I did this after I asked him a stupid question to get his attention!)
Geez, I really have a big mouth sometimes. But seriously, if such a cute guy like him would stand in front of you, wouldn’t you immediately also try to get him for yourself?
Well, luckily he said yes, as I asked him out of the blue, if he would date me.
Man, were I happy that day!
And the next day I was even happier. As we met for our first date I was really nervous, and so was he!
HI, HI, it was so funny and cute how he stuttered the whole time and his face was really red. Damn, he was so cute, I couldn’t take my eyes of him. And even more after I saw him laughing (actually about me!) but he looked so awesomely cute.
I still can’t believe that there exists such a cute human.
We had a lot of fun that day and the next day too.
We went to sing karaoke. He has a really nice voice, I could listen to him singing day and night.
That day he told me that he was living alone already. He just got 18 and his father is an alcoholic who kicked him out saying that he won’t care for such an annoying child.
I just thought how lonely he must feel. I immediately wanted to be the one who takes the loneliness away from him.
So I thought of a name for my precious gift from god. I named him Kame-chan, he is going to be my own turtle, and believe me I won´t share him with anybody else!
He also wanted me to sing one of my one songs for him, but I had a better idea. I would write a song for him.
Yep and so I did, I finished it yesterday.
But I will tell you about this later.
Thursday was a bit of a sad day. I only got to see my turtle for one hour.
I thought of a way to make him feel not so lonely if I’m not with him.
Since I’m such a baka I only thought of giving him a plush turtle! And he gave me the name Bakanishi. Somehow it suits me very well. My friends also often call me a baka.
Well, this was the happiest hour in the whole day for me. And I’m sure every minute with my Kame-chan is going to be the happiest minute I spend on earth.
Friday I made a really, really, really, huge mistake. I had gotten to like my Kame-chan so much that I wanted to feel him, touch him, even more than I already did. I couldn’t help myself.
We went shopping, it started to rain, and he looked so admirable with his wet pony. He looked cuter than ever, so I couldn’t stop myself from touching him, kissing him, wanting to feel every part of his body and make him my own.
Yea I know I’m really such a baka. I rushed him too much, and now I think if I hadn’t done this than everything would have been different now.
Well, it ended with me running away from him after screaming a lot of stupid things at him that I even at the moment I said them didn’t mean.
The rest of the evening I spent drinking. If Pi hadn’t stopped me I surely would have went straight to my turtles´ home and done something stupid again. After 2 bottles of vodka, Pi decided to bring me home.
I slept the next day till 2pm. I considered this the worst day of my life.
I was sitting the whole day in front of the phone dialing Kame’s number. (Of course I didn’t’ finish dialing!)
It was like a nightmare to know that I maybe won´t be able to be together with him again. A day without him, it was a whole day without him. I couldn’t think of anything else but him.
I got crazy, I really did. I tried to avoid everything that reminded me of him and ended up thinking just more of him. I couldn’t call him, but I wanted so much to hear his voice. I couldn’t go to him, but I wanted so much to see him.
After this horrible day finished I wrote the song for my turtle. I called it Care, but he didn’t hear it yet.
Because I didn’t know that day, that Sunday 16 May would really be the worst day of my life!
I nearly didn’t sleep the whole night. And after sitting another two hours in front of the phone did I finally manage to call him.
He immediately picked up. Although I had played this scenario hundred of times in my head, I did not manage to say all the things I had wanted to say.
Well, it ended up to be just a short call. I asked him to meet me and said I wanted to apologize. He said he was ok with it.
Well, and now I am coming to the reason why I have so damn much time today.
I was sitting in front of the café, waiting for my slow turtle. (Well I was actually a hour too early, because I didn’t want to miss him!)
I had bought this time a real turtle to apologize and brought the song that I wrote for him. I wanted to show him that I was really sorry.
But he didn’t come on the promised time.
He actually didn’t manage to show up to the café!
I was sitting in front of this café, and this café had a perfect view of the busy street, where cars, trucks and buses where driving in both directions.
I knew with which bus my turtle had to drive and I also knew that he was never late.
So I was sitting in front of the café, watching every bus where my Kame-chan could be sitting on.
It was nearly 11 o’clock so I knew that he had to show up with the next bus.
And the bus came!
The bus…
and a truck came!
They collided, just before the bus reached its stop!
My heart stopped! It really did! I couldn’t think for a moment, everything around me started to blur. And just one question came into my mind.
“What if my turtle was sitting on this bus!”
But I knew the answer already!
Kame was never late, NEVER! He must have been sitting on this fucking bus!
And so he did!
I didn´t awake from the shock until the ambulance arrived. I jumped up and ran, ran to see if my Kame-chan was okay. (I don’t know why, but I even managed to take the turtle I had bought with me!)
I arrived just in time to the bus to see how the rescue service brought my Kame-chan out of the damaged bus.
He was unconscious and blood was covering most parts of his body. Without thinking I grabbed his hand and tried to wake him up.
One of the rescue service understood that I knew him and tried to calm me down. They brought my Kame-chan and me to the next hospital.
And now I am sitting here.
Normally Laptops are not allowed in the hospital, but since Ryo is working here they made an exception.
Well, and I guess the fact that I was pounding against the operation room’s door screaming Kame’s name and asking everybody who passed me how my turtle is, was probably also one of the major reasons why they let me write on the Laptop.
Ryo called Pi to bring my Laptop to shut me up. My friends really know me too well!
And now I am writing in my live-journal to distract myself from the many scary thoughts which are flying around my mind. (The turtle is the only one to accompany me, since Pi and Ryo have to work.)
I don’t know how late it is now, but I know that I needed a lot of time to write all this because my hands are shaking like hell.
I’m so afraid to lose my Kame-chan. I’m so afraid to never see his smile again, to never hear his voice again.
I’m so afraid that there will come many day’s without my Kame-chan, many days till I die and will be able to meet him again.
But you know, I won´t allow God to take him. I swear I’m going to beat him up if he is so cruel to take him away from me.
Geez, I probably look so uncool at the moment, since I have been crying the whole time while writing this. My Laptop is a bit wet, since I wasn’t able to stop my tears from dropping on it. The turtle is also getting a bit wet. It looks at me as if it wants to say: “Stop crying or do you want to drown me?”
Well, I probably have gone mad by now, since I’m already starting to imagine that turtles can speak. Well, my turtle can speak, so maybe I haven´t gone that mad yet.
Oh the doctor is coming I can only hope that he has good news for me!!
Author's Note: Please comment!! \(^-^)/ And thanks eragon22 for betaing this! =)