Brain dump
Its been over a week since I got home from AZ and slipping back into the roles at work has been pretty painless. Lots of good things have happened recently. I got a really nice raise at my end of year review. I had an amazing review. I’ve had ego boosts before, but if I didn’t have a self-deflating ego, I’m pretty sure I’d still be stuck in the North training room.
They were really, really nice to me in my review. If I had it here (I brought it home so others couldn’t peep at my drawer and find out how much I’m making, or whatever) I’d quote a few lines. Its so freaking positive… it scares me a little.
So I should be happy.
And, I suppose - I am in a way. But the one person I really want to share all this with isn’t around. Mind - she’s disappeared before, and she has every right to do so now, especially with what I know that’s going on in her life right now. And even taking into account, selfishly that it *might* have something to do with me. (Which is just that, selfish, and stupid, but sometimes my brain and the voices in my head don’t listen) I still wish she’d just crane her neck for a minute so I could say hi.
…I just want to make sure I didn’t mess up worse then I think I did. I get that… and well I just want to see my friend again.
Before I left AZ, Sil’s mother went into the hospital again, reguarding her cancer. She was very Jaundised, (probably misspelled) and a CAT scan showed that she had a tumor that was blocking the bile duct out of her liver. While this isn’t super horribly serious, its far, far, far from good either. So for those of you who read this - if you would - send prayers to $diety, I’d appreciate it - and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind either.
Sil’s parents have been more then kind to me, a stranger from the internet who comes to visit their daughter - so I can only hope she’s doing better now.
I want to go into some of the things we did while I was in AZ. It wasn’t anything revolutionary or anything - and maybe that was why it did what I needed it to do. Clear my brain. I slept without reflux on Sil’s couch for six of the seven nights I spent there. There is no better way to explain just how much I NEEDED that vacation, and how much I appreciate it and how much stress relief it actually caused.
Granted, its now causing its own bit of stress - but that’s probably just me over-reacting. And my brain trying to compensate for the fact that it doesn’t know how to attack my job performance after a review like that one.
I just needed to air that and get it out of my skull… and thanks Dani, for listening to it in IM tonight. I appreciate it more then you know.
~DW
They were really, really nice to me in my review. If I had it here (I brought it home so others couldn’t peep at my drawer and find out how much I’m making, or whatever) I’d quote a few lines. Its so freaking positive… it scares me a little.
So I should be happy.
And, I suppose - I am in a way. But the one person I really want to share all this with isn’t around. Mind - she’s disappeared before, and she has every right to do so now, especially with what I know that’s going on in her life right now. And even taking into account, selfishly that it *might* have something to do with me. (Which is just that, selfish, and stupid, but sometimes my brain and the voices in my head don’t listen) I still wish she’d just crane her neck for a minute so I could say hi.
…I just want to make sure I didn’t mess up worse then I think I did. I get that… and well I just want to see my friend again.
Before I left AZ, Sil’s mother went into the hospital again, reguarding her cancer. She was very Jaundised, (probably misspelled) and a CAT scan showed that she had a tumor that was blocking the bile duct out of her liver. While this isn’t super horribly serious, its far, far, far from good either. So for those of you who read this - if you would - send prayers to $diety, I’d appreciate it - and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind either.
Sil’s parents have been more then kind to me, a stranger from the internet who comes to visit their daughter - so I can only hope she’s doing better now.
I want to go into some of the things we did while I was in AZ. It wasn’t anything revolutionary or anything - and maybe that was why it did what I needed it to do. Clear my brain. I slept without reflux on Sil’s couch for six of the seven nights I spent there. There is no better way to explain just how much I NEEDED that vacation, and how much I appreciate it and how much stress relief it actually caused.
Granted, its now causing its own bit of stress - but that’s probably just me over-reacting. And my brain trying to compensate for the fact that it doesn’t know how to attack my job performance after a review like that one.
I just needed to air that and get it out of my skull… and thanks Dani, for listening to it in IM tonight. I appreciate it more then you know.
~DW