Another night in the Cubes
Its just another night here at SEI. One of not quite countless nights I've spent here since getting my overnight position on the NewPOS desk. I like my job. The pay is fair (if not exactly good, but it'll get better) the benifits and such are excellent. Five weeks of PTO a year is really insane (and I love it)
From that angle life is good. However - I'm lonely. Hah, yah you've all heard that before. At this point most of you were getting glazed looks and stopped reading.
Thats ok. I'm tired of waking up knowing that today is just another day in my grind. Work, play a bit, sleep. Find something to eat somewhere in the waking hours. Sometimes I work a good bit more then play or sleep. Such is life. I'm a Highschool graduate without a formal college education... but I'm making myself known in the corporate ladder here. I've got my eye on some soon to open jobs, and some knowledge that I'll get what I want, with at least an 80% chance of success.
Thats all good. But I still wake up every day... knowing just like yesterday, and the day before... I'm alone. I have my friends, and I owe some of them a huge debt, simply for being there - during work hours and after to chat, say hello... remind me I'm not 'alone' or forgotten. I occasionally let myself think such thoughts. I know better, but its my sub-concious having pity on itself. I'm used to it. Just like I'm used to a multitude of characters arguing in my head on a daily basis. Most of them don't think I should write this entry. Screw em.
I have a serious Jonesing to buy a Despair poster and put it in my cube to combat the "Motivational Sayins" posters have have popped up around here.
I've made a decision tonight. One I've been bouncing around in my head for a while - and I realize that I've made a similar decision in the past, though it didn't turn out.
Be that as it may: By New Years '06 I'd like to have a steady, if not specifically serious love interest in my life. Not a "I'm chasing so and so" But a steady relationship. Be it long distance or not - this is the goal. I don't know how I'm going to get there - and really at the moment am not concerned about it. I've just decided to make an early NYs resolution.
Because weather or not I wake up physically alone. I don't want to be 'alone' anymore.
I'm finally getting stablized in my life - and its about time I got outside my crappy assed shell...
And on with life. There's a lot of things I want to do yet - and stagnating, just because one good thing has happened will not get me there. So here we go.
While we're at it, other things on the laundry list. Starting yesterday, I no longer take elevators at work. I will do minimum two sets of 15 push-ups and 15 crunches a day, until such a time as that becomes easy, and more needs to be added. Three times a week, whenever possible, I will walk, run, or ride (bike) 1 to 2 miles.
By next Monday I will have cleaned and organized my apartment. Monday I will buy grocerys - and I will not eat out more then twice a week for the rest of the year.
This is an ultimatum to myself. I'll keep you posted.
~DW
From that angle life is good. However - I'm lonely. Hah, yah you've all heard that before. At this point most of you were getting glazed looks and stopped reading.
Thats ok. I'm tired of waking up knowing that today is just another day in my grind. Work, play a bit, sleep. Find something to eat somewhere in the waking hours. Sometimes I work a good bit more then play or sleep. Such is life. I'm a Highschool graduate without a formal college education... but I'm making myself known in the corporate ladder here. I've got my eye on some soon to open jobs, and some knowledge that I'll get what I want, with at least an 80% chance of success.
Thats all good. But I still wake up every day... knowing just like yesterday, and the day before... I'm alone. I have my friends, and I owe some of them a huge debt, simply for being there - during work hours and after to chat, say hello... remind me I'm not 'alone' or forgotten. I occasionally let myself think such thoughts. I know better, but its my sub-concious having pity on itself. I'm used to it. Just like I'm used to a multitude of characters arguing in my head on a daily basis. Most of them don't think I should write this entry. Screw em.
I have a serious Jonesing to buy a Despair poster and put it in my cube to combat the "Motivational Sayins" posters have have popped up around here.
I've made a decision tonight. One I've been bouncing around in my head for a while - and I realize that I've made a similar decision in the past, though it didn't turn out.
Be that as it may: By New Years '06 I'd like to have a steady, if not specifically serious love interest in my life. Not a "I'm chasing so and so" But a steady relationship. Be it long distance or not - this is the goal. I don't know how I'm going to get there - and really at the moment am not concerned about it. I've just decided to make an early NYs resolution.
Because weather or not I wake up physically alone. I don't want to be 'alone' anymore.
I'm finally getting stablized in my life - and its about time I got outside my crappy assed shell...
And on with life. There's a lot of things I want to do yet - and stagnating, just because one good thing has happened will not get me there. So here we go.
While we're at it, other things on the laundry list. Starting yesterday, I no longer take elevators at work. I will do minimum two sets of 15 push-ups and 15 crunches a day, until such a time as that becomes easy, and more needs to be added. Three times a week, whenever possible, I will walk, run, or ride (bike) 1 to 2 miles.
By next Monday I will have cleaned and organized my apartment. Monday I will buy grocerys - and I will not eat out more then twice a week for the rest of the year.
This is an ultimatum to myself. I'll keep you posted.
~DW