Just popping in...
Well, Life was good...or so thought. I met up with my ex on Sunday, a week ago, and we talked. I explained, I apologize...He forgave, he told me it wasn't over...he said all things take time...
And then, he hasn't called me in a week. I called him once, on Thursday...and everyone says not to call him again, but this passive action doesn't really suit me. I want to know why...What have I done in the week that we haven't even spoke? What changed? What happened?
I hate this....I don't play games. This is so ridiculous...
And now, here's something I wrote. I'm posting it here first because he doesn't read my LJ...and should I decide to post it on MySpace, then he will be able to see it and maybe, just maybe, he'll grow the balls to actually call me up.
Any advice, lovelies?
And here's what I plan to say to him....It sucks, to love someone who has to be a jerk about some reunion.
Don't you hate it when every song on the radio reminds you of what's going on in your life? In church, Uncle Ted spoke about the foundation of your life, Jesus Christ, and the materials you choose to build your structure, your relationship with God. Prayer, verses, decisions you make, Faith...It's all a building block for what you'll become.
As I drove home, I thought and I prayed...and I got songs.
Wait for You by Elliott Yamin
I'll be Right Here Waiting for You by John Waite
I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty
Every Light in the House is On by Trace Adkins
The Waiting by Tom Petty
It's Not Over Yet by Vern Gosdin
Were those my answer to the current situation I find myself in? Do I wait for the turn-around that may never come? Is this a test of fate, of loyalty, of this feeling that won't go away? Regrets are high within, but it's only one that beats within my mind. I've made the motions to right the wrongs, to strengthen what I've broken...and my answer was "Everything takes time." and "It isn't over." Then why is silence the only thing I'm hearing? Is this the way it has to be? I can't pretend to understand...
And so I must wait? Wait, I can...Wait, I will...but will there be a favorable result in the end? Forgiveness? Requited concern? A second chance?
At the moment, it doesn't seem so. I know I've sprung up out of the blue, that I've waltzed back in with truths and reasons that are had to swallow...but it's all I knew to do. Months of analysis of my own mind, heart, and soul...And this is the conclusion I've come to. The mistake I made can never be taken back, but just the same, I've sought to turn it around. I meant all that I said...and still, I receive silence in return. Is there a reason to this discordant rhyme? Please, please tell me there is...
Call me dramatic; I already know it's true. Tell me I'm reading far too much into it; yes, I know that too. Tell me I should just be patient; it's what everyone else has said. Shake your head and say I don't know what I want...but I've listened to the voice in my head, the voice in my heart, the whisper on those lonely nights. I know what it's said, and I know what I've done. I can make the wrongs right. Don't believe me? Let me try; I'll prove to you what I feel inside.
Months apart and nothing's changed. You're still the smile and I'm still the rain. That look, those eyes, the smile, the frown. The jokes, the whispers, the kisses, the crown. I remember it all, it dances inside, that spark of fire that you ignite. A treasure, a chorus, a fight, a symphony. The beginning of a beginning of a start of an end.
If it's words you need, I've got them in spades. If it's a promise you want, then give me today. Whatever it is, name your price. I'll pay the debt, the sacrifice.
Call it a ramble, a plea of hope and prayer. Whenever you decide, I'll still be there.
That's all for now. Much love, darlings. Hope all is well!
-DW
And then, he hasn't called me in a week. I called him once, on Thursday...and everyone says not to call him again, but this passive action doesn't really suit me. I want to know why...What have I done in the week that we haven't even spoke? What changed? What happened?
I hate this....I don't play games. This is so ridiculous...
And now, here's something I wrote. I'm posting it here first because he doesn't read my LJ...and should I decide to post it on MySpace, then he will be able to see it and maybe, just maybe, he'll grow the balls to actually call me up.
Any advice, lovelies?
And here's what I plan to say to him....It sucks, to love someone who has to be a jerk about some reunion.
Don't you hate it when every song on the radio reminds you of what's going on in your life? In church, Uncle Ted spoke about the foundation of your life, Jesus Christ, and the materials you choose to build your structure, your relationship with God. Prayer, verses, decisions you make, Faith...It's all a building block for what you'll become.
As I drove home, I thought and I prayed...and I got songs.
Wait for You by Elliott Yamin
I'll be Right Here Waiting for You by John Waite
I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty
Every Light in the House is On by Trace Adkins
The Waiting by Tom Petty
It's Not Over Yet by Vern Gosdin
Were those my answer to the current situation I find myself in? Do I wait for the turn-around that may never come? Is this a test of fate, of loyalty, of this feeling that won't go away? Regrets are high within, but it's only one that beats within my mind. I've made the motions to right the wrongs, to strengthen what I've broken...and my answer was "Everything takes time." and "It isn't over." Then why is silence the only thing I'm hearing? Is this the way it has to be? I can't pretend to understand...
And so I must wait? Wait, I can...Wait, I will...but will there be a favorable result in the end? Forgiveness? Requited concern? A second chance?
At the moment, it doesn't seem so. I know I've sprung up out of the blue, that I've waltzed back in with truths and reasons that are had to swallow...but it's all I knew to do. Months of analysis of my own mind, heart, and soul...And this is the conclusion I've come to. The mistake I made can never be taken back, but just the same, I've sought to turn it around. I meant all that I said...and still, I receive silence in return. Is there a reason to this discordant rhyme? Please, please tell me there is...
Call me dramatic; I already know it's true. Tell me I'm reading far too much into it; yes, I know that too. Tell me I should just be patient; it's what everyone else has said. Shake your head and say I don't know what I want...but I've listened to the voice in my head, the voice in my heart, the whisper on those lonely nights. I know what it's said, and I know what I've done. I can make the wrongs right. Don't believe me? Let me try; I'll prove to you what I feel inside.
Months apart and nothing's changed. You're still the smile and I'm still the rain. That look, those eyes, the smile, the frown. The jokes, the whispers, the kisses, the crown. I remember it all, it dances inside, that spark of fire that you ignite. A treasure, a chorus, a fight, a symphony. The beginning of a beginning of a start of an end.
If it's words you need, I've got them in spades. If it's a promise you want, then give me today. Whatever it is, name your price. I'll pay the debt, the sacrifice.
Call it a ramble, a plea of hope and prayer. Whenever you decide, I'll still be there.
That's all for now. Much love, darlings. Hope all is well!
-DW