a fanvid PLAN
So. I have this idea for a fanvideo. Actually it's not so much an 'idea' as a PLAN. Except. I can't do fanvideos at all, so I'm just going to PUT IT ON THE INTERNET and make the pointed comment that it's my birthday in October. :D (early October. NO SLACKING.)
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT LIKE SPOILY THINGS.
The song: "I won't say I'm in love" from Disney's Hercules. I fuckin' love that song.
The fandom: X-men. Movie...verses. I really don't care which movies the clips are from unless I specify.
The pairing: CHARLES/ERIK WHO ELSE
The summary: pure, unadulterated CRACK where all the serious shit in the movie, like Charles getting shot or whatever, is just...not taken seriously at all.
AND NOW I'M GONNA WRITE THE SCRIPT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKIN' SONGFIC BECAUSE I CAN.
If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that...
Charles looking, idk, facepalmy and shit. This could be from First Class, but Patrick Stewart does an epic facepalm if you can find one where he's also Professor X.
No man is worth the aggravation...
ERIK. Being exasperating. Or floating around as Evil!Magneto and Charles looking TORMENTED. Because Erik being evil is EXASPERATING and no one understands Charles' PAIN.
That's ancient history-been there! Done that!
Okay, if the first part of the vid is, like, all Patrick Stewart!Charles and Sir Ian McKellan!Magneto, then at this point, bring in X-Men First Class because, uh, it's their history. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN JUST ROLL WITH IT.
Who'd ya think you're kidding
BRING IN HIS FRIENDS, I love that clip where all the First Class recruits lean around the wall to look at Havoc showing his powers for the first time, though maybe that could come in later; alternately use clips from other movies of other characters looking put-upon.
He's the earth and heaven to ya
Erik! Smiling! Charles looking besotted! BUT NOT THE SATELLITE DISH CLIP WE'RE *SAVING* THAT.
Try to keep it hidden, honey we can see right through ya
Cleverly cut bits of McAvoy!Charles trying to flirt, so we can't see who he's flirting with but we can SEE THE AWKWARD.
Girl you can't conceal it, we know how you feel and who you're thinking of...
Back to the Greek chorus of other X-men doing something funny, and then one of Charles looking all dreamy, and then gratuitous!shirtless!Erik. I HAVE FAITH THAT THERE IS THIS SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD. Or maybe not shirtless but, um, just Fassbender!Erik looking really sexy. That I leave to y'all who are, uh, attracted to men.
No chance! No way! I won't say it, no no!
Charles! Being angry! Doing hand gestures! Like from the Beach Divorce angry/sad! Except it is NO LONGER SRS BSNS.
You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh-oh
And now Charles gets shot and falls down and is Erik's arms all swoony and shit. DID I SAY THIS IS NO LONGER SRS BSNS? I BELIEVE I DID. THIS IS NO LONGER SRS BSNS. ACCEPT THE BLASPHEMY.
It's too cliche, I won't say I'm in love.
Charles denying something. Probably a good time to bring back Patrick!Charles for a bit, I think I remember one where he's shaking his head vigorously or, idk, being all denial-y.
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
Charles staring longingly, cut to look at Erik
It feels so good when you start out
HERE'S the satellite dish scene, when they give each other THAT LOOK don't deny YOU KNOW THE LOOK
My head is screaming get a grip girl
Charles being all telepathic and in PAIN from it, maybe when he's experiencing Shaw's death or something
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
MANLY TEARS. I want them. FROM BOTH CHARLES AND ERIK.
Whoa-oa-oaaaa!
TRANSITION SHOT I don't even care what it is wait yes I do it has to be from X-men somehow
You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling
NOW ERIK CAN COME AND BE LIKE, 'DON'T DENY WHO YOU ARE' or something, or you can bring in the yentas/other X-men
Baby we're not buying, hon we saw you hit the ceiling
Mystique and co. looking disbelieving or skeptical, from any movie, maybe Wolverine looking skeptical because Hugh Jackman's FACE is hilarious when he does I AM THE SKEPTICISM
Face it like a grown-up, when you gonna own up
Patrick!Charles again, maybe getting yelled at by someone
That you've got got got it bad...
More chorus, maybe go from person to person on 'got got got' and then BACK TO CHARLES looking dreamy
WROOOO-OOO-OOONG: No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no
Charles being ANGRY! And denying! Either McAvoy!Charles or Stewart!Charles, I don't care, and then back to Erik, I haven't mentioned Erik enough but we need LOTS OF ERIK cleverly cut so it looks like Charles is staring at him EVEN MORE THAN HE ALREADY DOES
Give up, give in, check the grin you're in love
Erik! Looking charming/dangerous/sexy! And Charles! Starting to give in? Maybe I didn't think this vid quite all the way through to the end like I thought I did.
This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love
You're doin' flips read our lips, you're in love
You're way off base, I won't say it!
Get off my case ,I won't say it!
Denial, persuasion from other X-men, gratuitous staring at each other, whatever
Girl, don't be proud, it's O.K. you're in love
Fluffy shot of them in the suits getting Angel, I think there's a smile in there they give each other that's just perfect
Oh...at least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love.
And END on Charles and Erik smiling over chess or something equally adorable.
(it's possible I'm exhausted and, uh, slightly drunk. Although I came up with the idea this morning walking to the bus long before I had any beer, so.)
GO AHEAD AND JUDGE ME IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT. I HAVE NO SHAME.