it's growing.
in essence, i am a slut; but it is all a balance, it is all in relevance to whatever and whatever. and you were a happy happy boy looking for love in the wrong sheets of the wrong towns, and then you found it shortly after you used unhappy girl me but that's okay, that's okay, because it was mutual at some points, and it wasn't during others. my mind has been made up about certain things, why i do the things i do, why i keep the people in my life that i do, why things seem to add up to zero but explode like fireworks. how perhaps i should rethink things but i will not because now i feel as though you make the decisions you make based on a truth to yourself, and now i need to do the same. we'll be together forever in our tumultuous ups and downs, in our delicious and occasionally deceiving love affair. in you i have found a life partner. and you and i, love, are the perfect balance of whatever and whatever. sometimes i see stars, sometimes i am trapped, and sometimes i take off and never come back. and the red wine is dripping, slipping through my finger prints on new skins: kissing in cars, walking to the beach, drinking sparks; etcetc. we made love on my bed a week ago and my socks were still on, you laughed and i laughed more and it was nice having you there at night, even if you weren't comfortable, even if you were unsure. sometimes i am unsure. but most of the time i am completely sure of my actions. my heart is always in the right place, but my head never is. the mind the mind the mind, it's draining. makes you want to drink drano sometimes, but that would be too easy. and life aint east, right? right. softsadmusic and lovely people, occasional sunshine through the rain. my life is like the weather here. it's complicated. it's cold. it's beautifully warm, but that is very seldom.