{ chaptered } Tell Me Goodbye ★ 3
Title: Tell Me Goodbye [3/7]
Fandom: Big Bang
Genre: Angst, smutfic
Pairing: GRi
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Saw the rating? I kind of mean it.
Summary: Seungri has to get out.
N/A: OH HEY THIRD CHAPTER.
During his whole existence, Seungri always heard that his heart is the one single thing he could always trust. For a very long time, he did believe in this and listened to every caprice his heart could have... but with time he also noticed that his heart was the most ravenous traitor he could ever have in his life. Maybe his heart had some sort of deficiency because it did something that it should not do and should not even be able to do.
Seungri fell in love with Jiyong.
It had been very hard for him to even admit to himself that he had regular sexual intercourse with a man, acknowledging that he was in love with that same man was even more difficult. What they had had never been about feelings, how in the world did he develop them?
Where did he go wrong? How did it he cross the line?
How did the ferocious hunger for Jiyong's body dissolve into the need to be in his arms? How did the satisfaction he got from making the other scream and moan his name become the need to hear his voice over the phone saying that he needed Seungri? How did he go from carelessly grabbing and slamming into Jiyong's body to pressing him lightly onto the bed and taking his time to find and ravish each of his pleasure spots all night long?
This was getting too deep. Seungri just had to change himself before Jiyong noticed that something was off about his behavior around him. Even his body language was not as clear and crude as before, instead it became a mixture of shy glances and hushed words.
Seungri had to get out.
He tried to see more women, those nonsensically beautiful ones he used to have such interest in. He tried to find that importance he used to put in them. He went out on most nights with different young women at all sorts of gatherings or parties, attempted at going on dates with some of them and even had sex with two or three girls completely dazzled by his celebrity status.
Nothing. He felt nothing toward the female kind anymore, regardless of how hard he tried to take pleasure in their company. He just could not. Each time, he found himself thinking about Jiyong and about how the older might be waiting for him while he was in those cheap hotel rooms with those easily awed pretty faces who meant absolutely nothing to him.
He gave it a lot of consideration. He could not go and tell Jiyong that he had fallen for his eyes, his smile, his touch... This was going against their implicit agreements, this was not good... So he decided to just keep doing as if nothing was wrong at all, responding to the call when Jiyong wanted him and going to him on his own will once in a while to not break the habit they have been used to for the last two years or so.
At night, Seungri fantasized about Jiyong. He did not visualize the raunchy sex they usually had. He imagined Jiyong's long legs and arms around his body, soft moans of each other's name, tender touches, loving kisses... delusional wishes. He could only dream of making love to Jiyong. There was no place for love in what they had. His dreams were a waste; all they did was making him wake up in the night, taking his Heartbreaker CD booklet and touch himself as thoughts of the object of his desires fogged his mind.
While Seungri was being restless with nightly thoughts of Jiyong, the older was filled with rage from being incapable to write any decent lyrics. It infuriated him so much that he wanted to just burn everything to ashes... those were the kind of moments when he needed Seungri, now that he stayed away from other heart-related problems.
Jiyong barged into his group maknae's room, cursing about how it was more complicated to fuck ever since they stopped living together. Taken aback, Seungri hid his booklet in the nearest drawer and got his hand out of his boxers, wishing that the other did not see what he was doing. Fortunately enough for him, all Jiyong saw was the obvious erection Seungri had that formed a tent shape in the light sheets Seungri was covering himself with.
"You could have called, I'm better than your damn hand." Jiyong said before yanking the sheets off the other and lowering himself onto the hardened flesh to suck Seungri off.
Jiyong had an amazing mouth. He could always could make Seungri feel good with it whether he was smiling, talking, singing or giving him head. It always left him with shivers going down his body.
"F-fuck..." Seungri moaned, holding the other at the back of his neck and throwing his head back as Jiyong's tongue worked around his length.
Jiyong stopped and looked up, "Fuck? Thought you'd never ask."
The older man switched the positions and before Seungri even registered that he had moved, he was sheathed deep inside Jiyong's tightness and could only look up and hiss as the other rode his cock wildly, greedily fulfilling his needs.
It hurt Seungri. Yes, he was now used to Jiyong scratching and being fairly aggressive. It hurt because this was all it was and all it would ever be: fucking. Physically, it felt amazing but in Seungri's heart... it was just not good enough anymore. Never will Jiyong try to find shelter in his arms; he would only satisfy his body, empty his head and go back to his own life without a care in the world for those feelings Seungri was unable to voice.
Feeling the pain rip at his heart, he flipped their positions and thrust so hard into Jiyong that the other screamed into the pillow endlessly. He held his hands against his back, took hold of Jiyong's member with his free hand and let everything loose. The pain, the anger, the needs...
"F-fuck yes! Don't stop!" Jiyong grunted through gritted teeth.
He could not stop. Seungri just kept going until his muscles burned as much as the rest of his being, unable to hold back a few tears from the pain when he released himself deep inside Jiyong soon after the older came. He just laid himself next to him, trembling a bit and trying to get his body to go down from this high.
When he came back to his senses, Jiyong noticed the small whimpering sounds Seungri was making and how his body was shaking. Sobs, he figured.
"... Why are you crying?" He asked, pressing himself against Seungri's back and looking at his pained expression and hearing the few choked sounds he made that meant nothing precise to his ears.
Seungri never answered.
This was better than nothing at all, after all. There was no use in ruining it all over love.
Fandom: Big Bang
Genre: Angst, smutfic
Pairing: GRi
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Saw the rating? I kind of mean it.
Summary: Seungri has to get out.
N/A: OH HEY THIRD CHAPTER.
During his whole existence, Seungri always heard that his heart is the one single thing he could always trust. For a very long time, he did believe in this and listened to every caprice his heart could have... but with time he also noticed that his heart was the most ravenous traitor he could ever have in his life. Maybe his heart had some sort of deficiency because it did something that it should not do and should not even be able to do.
Seungri fell in love with Jiyong.
It had been very hard for him to even admit to himself that he had regular sexual intercourse with a man, acknowledging that he was in love with that same man was even more difficult. What they had had never been about feelings, how in the world did he develop them?
Where did he go wrong? How did it he cross the line?
How did the ferocious hunger for Jiyong's body dissolve into the need to be in his arms? How did the satisfaction he got from making the other scream and moan his name become the need to hear his voice over the phone saying that he needed Seungri? How did he go from carelessly grabbing and slamming into Jiyong's body to pressing him lightly onto the bed and taking his time to find and ravish each of his pleasure spots all night long?
This was getting too deep. Seungri just had to change himself before Jiyong noticed that something was off about his behavior around him. Even his body language was not as clear and crude as before, instead it became a mixture of shy glances and hushed words.
Seungri had to get out.
He tried to see more women, those nonsensically beautiful ones he used to have such interest in. He tried to find that importance he used to put in them. He went out on most nights with different young women at all sorts of gatherings or parties, attempted at going on dates with some of them and even had sex with two or three girls completely dazzled by his celebrity status.
Nothing. He felt nothing toward the female kind anymore, regardless of how hard he tried to take pleasure in their company. He just could not. Each time, he found himself thinking about Jiyong and about how the older might be waiting for him while he was in those cheap hotel rooms with those easily awed pretty faces who meant absolutely nothing to him.
He gave it a lot of consideration. He could not go and tell Jiyong that he had fallen for his eyes, his smile, his touch... This was going against their implicit agreements, this was not good... So he decided to just keep doing as if nothing was wrong at all, responding to the call when Jiyong wanted him and going to him on his own will once in a while to not break the habit they have been used to for the last two years or so.
At night, Seungri fantasized about Jiyong. He did not visualize the raunchy sex they usually had. He imagined Jiyong's long legs and arms around his body, soft moans of each other's name, tender touches, loving kisses... delusional wishes. He could only dream of making love to Jiyong. There was no place for love in what they had. His dreams were a waste; all they did was making him wake up in the night, taking his Heartbreaker CD booklet and touch himself as thoughts of the object of his desires fogged his mind.
While Seungri was being restless with nightly thoughts of Jiyong, the older was filled with rage from being incapable to write any decent lyrics. It infuriated him so much that he wanted to just burn everything to ashes... those were the kind of moments when he needed Seungri, now that he stayed away from other heart-related problems.
Jiyong barged into his group maknae's room, cursing about how it was more complicated to fuck ever since they stopped living together. Taken aback, Seungri hid his booklet in the nearest drawer and got his hand out of his boxers, wishing that the other did not see what he was doing. Fortunately enough for him, all Jiyong saw was the obvious erection Seungri had that formed a tent shape in the light sheets Seungri was covering himself with.
"You could have called, I'm better than your damn hand." Jiyong said before yanking the sheets off the other and lowering himself onto the hardened flesh to suck Seungri off.
Jiyong had an amazing mouth. He could always could make Seungri feel good with it whether he was smiling, talking, singing or giving him head. It always left him with shivers going down his body.
"F-fuck..." Seungri moaned, holding the other at the back of his neck and throwing his head back as Jiyong's tongue worked around his length.
Jiyong stopped and looked up, "Fuck? Thought you'd never ask."
The older man switched the positions and before Seungri even registered that he had moved, he was sheathed deep inside Jiyong's tightness and could only look up and hiss as the other rode his cock wildly, greedily fulfilling his needs.
It hurt Seungri. Yes, he was now used to Jiyong scratching and being fairly aggressive. It hurt because this was all it was and all it would ever be: fucking. Physically, it felt amazing but in Seungri's heart... it was just not good enough anymore. Never will Jiyong try to find shelter in his arms; he would only satisfy his body, empty his head and go back to his own life without a care in the world for those feelings Seungri was unable to voice.
Feeling the pain rip at his heart, he flipped their positions and thrust so hard into Jiyong that the other screamed into the pillow endlessly. He held his hands against his back, took hold of Jiyong's member with his free hand and let everything loose. The pain, the anger, the needs...
"F-fuck yes! Don't stop!" Jiyong grunted through gritted teeth.
He could not stop. Seungri just kept going until his muscles burned as much as the rest of his being, unable to hold back a few tears from the pain when he released himself deep inside Jiyong soon after the older came. He just laid himself next to him, trembling a bit and trying to get his body to go down from this high.
When he came back to his senses, Jiyong noticed the small whimpering sounds Seungri was making and how his body was shaking. Sobs, he figured.
"... Why are you crying?" He asked, pressing himself against Seungri's back and looking at his pained expression and hearing the few choked sounds he made that meant nothing precise to his ears.
Seungri never answered.
This was better than nothing at all, after all. There was no use in ruining it all over love.