here i am!
everyone is sad. like, everyone but me. it's not even like i don't have things to be upset about. it's just been one hell of a year, stuff just kept piling on, and eventually it's quite literally sink or swim time. i either had to man up and just get over it, or drown in it. there was a moment i think where in the middle of the day i crawled into my bed, and finally felt like i understood people who just don't leave their houses. ever. that was my low point. but i am ever the upside. i never thought of myself as "the glass half full" type, but i really am. something happens, i deal with it. i cry. i grieve. i move on. i just can't wallow anymore. it takes so much time, and energy, and i have enough negitive as it is. i'm living for the positive. however, right now i feel like i'm kind of fighting a losing battle. everyone else is so down, and it's hard enough to be my own upside. i'm not exactly dr. feelgood. but it's not like these are people i can just brush off, either. these are people i love, and their happiness is just as important to me, if not more, than my own. besides, i feel like i'm in happiness debt anyway. my mom, for example, took complete care of me for seventeen years, and christian has pretty much handled all my shit for the last two years. i kind of owe them.
woe.
woe.