What's up?
Ok. Wow. So just need to vent. It's been quite a summer and I'll be glad once school starts again just for the fact that Dri will get into her regular schedule again and I can then freak-out with a little more ease and not have to worry about her seeing mom just loose her shit. Don't get me wrong, SHE's been wonderful this summer considering everything SHE's been through too. *sigh*
So the past few months have been probably the worst in my entire life. Things have turned around but it's going to take a long time to recover from all of this. The past 3 months broken down into categories:
RISING PHOENIX GAMES
1. Pending law suit w/Federal Express ground for the following:
a. refusal to deliver to my busines during posted hours. This means that all my product deliveries I've had to goto the distribution center in Auburn and physically pick them up.
b. product damage. DND 4th edition cam out beginning of June. When I picked up my product it was soaked. Some of it was salvagable but most was not.
c. lost product. I refused one box of damaged product after the manager scanned in all the boxes and I signed for them. My idiocy. However the video tapes show something but they are not talking. They made a weak attempt at my request to put in a "claim" but it was also ignored.
c1. lost product II. After a month of waiting for them to come pick up the rest of the damaged product (supposed to come next day) they LOST the box Wizards of the coast PrePaid for to ship back. Upon their threats of a law suit, somehow the box was "found".
d. loss of regenerating revenues due to damaged/lost product, see above.
e. still no word on "claim" and it's been over 3 months.
2. Air conditioning. Landlord promised me air conditioning for summer. Don't have it. This creates a HOST of problems because I planned my budget around not losing 22 percent of my business due to the fact that its too hot in here to sit down and play. I've lost 6 role play groups, 1 miniature gaming group and 3 of my weekly collectable card tournaments haven't gone off since mid June cuz it's too hot sit and play. While I'm still (barely) keeping my head above water you can see how this is upsetting.
3. Physical Store Growth. In April I made a deal w/the landlord that if they installed air conditioning I'd expand into their dead space area for a settled amout extra a month. Again, the contigent was I didn't lose business like last summer and that I had relief from the heat. That didn't happen so I'm not growing. I currently have 3500 sqft of space in my business and the extra space would bring me up to 6,000 and I would own the gaming store with the most "play space" in new england. Very disapointed.
4. WOTC opens Pre-release magic tournaments to retailers. This is a GOOD thing because my store qualifies (even without the extra space). However. I have no AIR CONDITIONING. The pre-release is on Sept 28th. I have famous artist Rob Alexander coming down to the store that day to do signings and everything. I can hold (tightly) 150 players. If I had the back room I could comfortably fit 250. Yeah. loss of possible revenues... possible unhappy peeps that I may have to turn away.
5. Overtheedge Games. New gaming store in worcester. They have air conditioning but almost no play space. They said they're not running MTG tournaments. They are. They also arranged their pokemon torunaments to just overlap w/mine. Bad form Bad Form! So they expect me to be out of business in 3 months. HEH... not. I sell more RPG and Mini games than Magic so I'm not dead yet. Still the competition is there where it wasn't before. :(
6. Have had several customers butt heads and walk out claiming to never come back. Heat does that to people.
7. I have cash investors waiting in the wings but I haven't been able to find 2 min. to sit down with them and grab checks. YES, THIS IS A HIGH PRIORITY! But if I don't keep day to day stuff managed I don't have a store they can invest in. Money is tight and I can't expand my product lines thusly.
8. Still trying to run the store by myself. It's killing me... but I'm so close to getting over this "HUMP" and jumping in growth (regardless of the back room).
PERSONAL/PHYSICAL:
1. First and foremost, I have to fly tomorrow. Yeah, I'm going to GenCon, but I have to FLY tomorrow. I'm not taking anything for anxiety (you'll see why shortly) like usual so I'm just a ball of sucky stress and I'm a wreck.
2. My obgyn coposcopy shows that my cervix is hasn't changed, still moderate dysplasia of cells. No need for another cryo-scrape or what ever they call it however I go again for another coposcopy in 6 months.
3. There is a syst growing behind one of my ribs which is the actual cause of my ribs popping out of joint. I know it's grown cuz the rib sticks out more than the rest now. I have not had the time to see anyone for this, nor have I even mentioned it till now. Basically I can pop my rib and make the next 3 overlap the others for a second before they pop back. This is extremely painful but the duration of the pain has gone from two weeks to only a few days when it does go. Kinda worried.
4. I have 3 cavities and a cracked tooth and no time/money to goto the dentist to have them attended to. These have caused some fantastic migranes.
5. Gotta quit smoking, but after a few days I go back from stress. FRUSTRATED.
6. I'm off my game because I stopped taking my Adderall 2 weeks ago. You'll see why shortly.
PERSONAL/EMOTIONAL:
1. In order for "Lia" to work at a good level of productivity, I need at least an hour a day private time. AKA leave me the hell alone and let me just be. Up till last weekend I've had MAYBE a total of 10 hours of private time since May 22nd. Because of this, I've been scattered, easily upsettable, and it increases my stress levels astronomically. Things that should be easy aren't as a result.
2. Kevin and I have been butting heads and have had major major communication problems. While things are MUCH better now, it's been the worst time ever.
3. My brother in law and his family moved in with us in May and moved out 2 weeks ago. We went from 3 people in the house to 9, plus a dog, cat, and 3 ferrets. While I've had assistance w/Dri, and ALL my household chores being done for me I lost complete privacy... my bedroom and desk and everything that I THOUGHT was going to be private for me wasnt.
4. In May we switched Adrianna from Ritalin to Adderall. In less than 3 weeks she fell into a clinical depression caused by the new meds and under pressure from family members we tried other doses of Ritalin, all left Dri a mess. I feel awful, guilty and by the time I was able to get her BACK to her normal med levels, she's had to endure going through this emotional mess. I've learned that MOM KNOWS BEST and not to be coerced into taking others advice under pressure.
5. 2 weeks ago I was accused of being addicted to prescription drugs because I lost Dri and my prescriptions and because they're controlled substances I had a hard time renewing our meds. Luckily my sister in law doesn't give her children their ritalin during the summer so we were able to keep Dri kinda level but meds were missing so I MUST have taken them. I have proved that I DIDN'T take them but that kind of accusation is really HARD to let go because there were 3 adults involved in the accusation whom I thought knew me soooo soo much better than that. Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate them that they'd be concerned for my well being, but it's crushed me. I refuse to renew my prescription and threw out the rest of mine and outside of excedrin and tylenol I refuse to take anything else that might be even a HINT of anything. Been like this for 2 weeks. Been fine, but like I said earlier, I'm off my game and more scattered than usual. (oops, no drug withdrawl??? OH YEAH! NO ADDICTION/ABUSE! woops)
6. After I proved I didn't take them I had to prove I didn't take them to SELL THEM. Oh. My. GOD. Proved that too. Same accusers. Have not really restored my heart back from being broken.
7. Now I have to prove that I'm not anorexic. Yes, I don't sleep well and look tired all the time, and have lost more weight because of stress and lack of personal space PLUS all the above stuff... I do eat... just obviously not enough lately. I'm 5'2 and 130. Love you all but the help I need is stress relief, not MORE STRESS.
8. Miss my Annie who passed away a year ago. More than words.
Eh.
I'm still alive.
That's all that matters.
;)
L
So the past few months have been probably the worst in my entire life. Things have turned around but it's going to take a long time to recover from all of this. The past 3 months broken down into categories:
RISING PHOENIX GAMES
1. Pending law suit w/Federal Express ground for the following:
a. refusal to deliver to my busines during posted hours. This means that all my product deliveries I've had to goto the distribution center in Auburn and physically pick them up.
b. product damage. DND 4th edition cam out beginning of June. When I picked up my product it was soaked. Some of it was salvagable but most was not.
c. lost product. I refused one box of damaged product after the manager scanned in all the boxes and I signed for them. My idiocy. However the video tapes show something but they are not talking. They made a weak attempt at my request to put in a "claim" but it was also ignored.
c1. lost product II. After a month of waiting for them to come pick up the rest of the damaged product (supposed to come next day) they LOST the box Wizards of the coast PrePaid for to ship back. Upon their threats of a law suit, somehow the box was "found".
d. loss of regenerating revenues due to damaged/lost product, see above.
e. still no word on "claim" and it's been over 3 months.
2. Air conditioning. Landlord promised me air conditioning for summer. Don't have it. This creates a HOST of problems because I planned my budget around not losing 22 percent of my business due to the fact that its too hot in here to sit down and play. I've lost 6 role play groups, 1 miniature gaming group and 3 of my weekly collectable card tournaments haven't gone off since mid June cuz it's too hot sit and play. While I'm still (barely) keeping my head above water you can see how this is upsetting.
3. Physical Store Growth. In April I made a deal w/the landlord that if they installed air conditioning I'd expand into their dead space area for a settled amout extra a month. Again, the contigent was I didn't lose business like last summer and that I had relief from the heat. That didn't happen so I'm not growing. I currently have 3500 sqft of space in my business and the extra space would bring me up to 6,000 and I would own the gaming store with the most "play space" in new england. Very disapointed.
4. WOTC opens Pre-release magic tournaments to retailers. This is a GOOD thing because my store qualifies (even without the extra space). However. I have no AIR CONDITIONING. The pre-release is on Sept 28th. I have famous artist Rob Alexander coming down to the store that day to do signings and everything. I can hold (tightly) 150 players. If I had the back room I could comfortably fit 250. Yeah. loss of possible revenues... possible unhappy peeps that I may have to turn away.
5. Overtheedge Games. New gaming store in worcester. They have air conditioning but almost no play space. They said they're not running MTG tournaments. They are. They also arranged their pokemon torunaments to just overlap w/mine. Bad form Bad Form! So they expect me to be out of business in 3 months. HEH... not. I sell more RPG and Mini games than Magic so I'm not dead yet. Still the competition is there where it wasn't before. :(
6. Have had several customers butt heads and walk out claiming to never come back. Heat does that to people.
7. I have cash investors waiting in the wings but I haven't been able to find 2 min. to sit down with them and grab checks. YES, THIS IS A HIGH PRIORITY! But if I don't keep day to day stuff managed I don't have a store they can invest in. Money is tight and I can't expand my product lines thusly.
8. Still trying to run the store by myself. It's killing me... but I'm so close to getting over this "HUMP" and jumping in growth (regardless of the back room).
PERSONAL/PHYSICAL:
1. First and foremost, I have to fly tomorrow. Yeah, I'm going to GenCon, but I have to FLY tomorrow. I'm not taking anything for anxiety (you'll see why shortly) like usual so I'm just a ball of sucky stress and I'm a wreck.
2. My obgyn coposcopy shows that my cervix is hasn't changed, still moderate dysplasia of cells. No need for another cryo-scrape or what ever they call it however I go again for another coposcopy in 6 months.
3. There is a syst growing behind one of my ribs which is the actual cause of my ribs popping out of joint. I know it's grown cuz the rib sticks out more than the rest now. I have not had the time to see anyone for this, nor have I even mentioned it till now. Basically I can pop my rib and make the next 3 overlap the others for a second before they pop back. This is extremely painful but the duration of the pain has gone from two weeks to only a few days when it does go. Kinda worried.
4. I have 3 cavities and a cracked tooth and no time/money to goto the dentist to have them attended to. These have caused some fantastic migranes.
5. Gotta quit smoking, but after a few days I go back from stress. FRUSTRATED.
6. I'm off my game because I stopped taking my Adderall 2 weeks ago. You'll see why shortly.
PERSONAL/EMOTIONAL:
1. In order for "Lia" to work at a good level of productivity, I need at least an hour a day private time. AKA leave me the hell alone and let me just be. Up till last weekend I've had MAYBE a total of 10 hours of private time since May 22nd. Because of this, I've been scattered, easily upsettable, and it increases my stress levels astronomically. Things that should be easy aren't as a result.
2. Kevin and I have been butting heads and have had major major communication problems. While things are MUCH better now, it's been the worst time ever.
3. My brother in law and his family moved in with us in May and moved out 2 weeks ago. We went from 3 people in the house to 9, plus a dog, cat, and 3 ferrets. While I've had assistance w/Dri, and ALL my household chores being done for me I lost complete privacy... my bedroom and desk and everything that I THOUGHT was going to be private for me wasnt.
4. In May we switched Adrianna from Ritalin to Adderall. In less than 3 weeks she fell into a clinical depression caused by the new meds and under pressure from family members we tried other doses of Ritalin, all left Dri a mess. I feel awful, guilty and by the time I was able to get her BACK to her normal med levels, she's had to endure going through this emotional mess. I've learned that MOM KNOWS BEST and not to be coerced into taking others advice under pressure.
5. 2 weeks ago I was accused of being addicted to prescription drugs because I lost Dri and my prescriptions and because they're controlled substances I had a hard time renewing our meds. Luckily my sister in law doesn't give her children their ritalin during the summer so we were able to keep Dri kinda level but meds were missing so I MUST have taken them. I have proved that I DIDN'T take them but that kind of accusation is really HARD to let go because there were 3 adults involved in the accusation whom I thought knew me soooo soo much better than that. Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate them that they'd be concerned for my well being, but it's crushed me. I refuse to renew my prescription and threw out the rest of mine and outside of excedrin and tylenol I refuse to take anything else that might be even a HINT of anything. Been like this for 2 weeks. Been fine, but like I said earlier, I'm off my game and more scattered than usual. (oops, no drug withdrawl??? OH YEAH! NO ADDICTION/ABUSE! woops)
6. After I proved I didn't take them I had to prove I didn't take them to SELL THEM. Oh. My. GOD. Proved that too. Same accusers. Have not really restored my heart back from being broken.
7. Now I have to prove that I'm not anorexic. Yes, I don't sleep well and look tired all the time, and have lost more weight because of stress and lack of personal space PLUS all the above stuff... I do eat... just obviously not enough lately. I'm 5'2 and 130. Love you all but the help I need is stress relief, not MORE STRESS.
8. Miss my Annie who passed away a year ago. More than words.
Eh.
I'm still alive.
That's all that matters.
;)
L