(no subject)
So, I was really pissed and this happened. It's still really crude and I'm not sure some bits work... I might re-write some parts (or the whole bloody thing) when I'm in a saner mood.
Oh and btw...Happy New Year.
Untitled.
.....Hey, Neji.
We’re just two fucked up people, aren’t we?
She’s sneering at him, anger and hurt bleeding into her eyes, staining her pupils a darker brown than usual. He can imagine her mind seething like acid, each unfurling thought laced with bitter poison, but he knows (hopes, rather - but the uncertainty hurts and irritates him) that he’s not the one she hates. She grabs his sleeve, twisting the fabric between rough fingers; a vicious jerk of a shuriken and there’s a new cut down his forearm, her frustration engraved on his skin.
It doesn’t really hurt and he tries not to care when she licks clean the metal blade and turns her back on him.
You never give me enough. Now and then I’m scared you’re not enough.
“We’re still ok, aren’t we?” she’s pleading with him now. “Neji. Neji. Tell me we can do this. Please.”
He tries to answer but his throat is too dry and the words too heavy with hidden implications, meanings and promises he isn’t prepared to hand over to her grasping fingers. The truth is, - Tenten can’t figure out what she wants to hear from him. Yes, yes we can. I need you. No, we’re not alright.
Perhaps.
And I……. I have the tendency to run away.
Physical injuries - blood and lacerations, gore and crushed bone, she can deal with. Tenten can streak into the battlefield and slash her way through breathing, bleeding bodies, submerge herself fully in carnage and wide-eyed, unblinking murder.
But this - this, she can’t take. She watches numbly as her impossible becomes suddenly, painfully possible and Neji shatters in front of her. He’s choking against her cheek, arms wrapped too tightly around her shoulders. There’s a gaping hole in his heart because Hinata is dead and he wasn’t there to save her -
Neji was never supposed to break. Not like this. Tenten stares straight ahead, eyes wide. She’s trying. Then she feels a wetness against her cheek and she can’t help it, she draws back as if slapped, fingertips on her cheekbones because those were Neji’s tears, Neji is crying.
I can’t do this- Tenten panics, she’s fucking terrified of what is happening to Neji and she -
She runs.
Neji stiffens when she twists herself from his embrace, his need, and he can’t breathe for a few dizzy, blinding seconds.
Love, lust. Want, need. They’re all the same to us anyway.
Sometimes she can be so cold, colder than even Neji or Sasuke. Face blank, eyes glassy, unbreakable porcelain doll.
Neji’s heart is ice, but she is stone. He realizes this seven weeks after Hinata’s burial.
“What’s wrong?” his voice is low, carrying the dead weight of his grief. He leans against the wall casually but his anxiety is almost palpable in the still, suffocating air. Tenten is tracing light circles across the multiple scars on his forearm and pretends not to hear him until he grabs her hand, splaying her fingers flat against his.
“What’s wrong?” he repeats, but Tenten is stone; she looks on mutely, closed. Blank and paper thin.
“…..Damn it. Talk to me!” Neji hates her silence and he’s suddenly furious (or maybe he’s just scared - to him they are inexplicably intertwined ideas anyway); he jerks her closer to him, pulling her body flush against his. He bends down and bites down on her neck, hard; a knee forcing apart her legs as he shoves her against the wall.
Tenten says nothing but she closes her eyes as Neji rubs his cheek against hers, fingers pulling at her hair. Rough kisses leaving bite marks across her skin as he moves downwards, tugging at her shirt, her skirt.
He doesn’t kiss her fully on the mouth.
But sometimes…..
They are hopelessly entangled with and within each other, though they try and try to pretend that they can leave -
“- anytime.” he tells her, face utterly devoid of emotion. For once his face reflects his heart, because every time they argue she hollows him out, leaving him empty and gaping open.
She nods. “I know.”
……..Their eyes meet.
The silence threatens to throw them both off balance but Tenten smiles because his fingers are curling themselves around her wrist.
“……I’ll stay,” she tells him. “For now.”
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter.
“……we’re just two fucked up people, aren’t we, Neji?”
Soft voices caressing in the dark. They touch each other gently, still half-afraid of who they are and how they feel.
“……..Hn.” Neji smiles against her skin. “Does it matter?”
Tenten moves to kiss him, her movement slow but decisive. “I don’t know.” She shifts in his lap, making herself comfortable in his warmth. “Does it?”
Their kiss is languorous and thorough. When they break apart, Tenten rests her face against his neck and her fears in his hands. She knows the answer.
…….Hey, Neji. We’re just two fucked up people, and I ……..I’ll love you anyway.