Aug 11, 2005 02:19
My friend James came to my work today. We went for lunch together. While there, I came to a horrible realization... I'm getting old, in more ways than one. I've been thinking a lot about life lately, about the way things are and the way they used to be. I feel like everything went by so fast and I've grown up much sooner than I should've. I wish I could take it all back but the thing that haunts me most is, there is no back to go to. There's no home to run back to... and when I think about it, I never really felt like there was. I've become my old depressed self again and as much as I try, I can't fight it. I've that urge to curl in a box and sail myself away. Maybe it's the sad music I'm listening to, or all the people falling suddenly dead around me, or maybe it's just my own stupidity making me feel this way. I don't know, I don't know anything anymore...
I'm so fucking scared of growing up... and I hate feeling so alone.
This sucks.