Unforgivable
cityneverxsleeps: i found out yesterday that my friend tom from the ward who came to tct with us last time is going to die
Post Script ILYx: ;\
cityneverxsleeps: there's no more treatment he can have and he's gone home to be comfortable
Post Script ILYx: least he gets to go at home
Post Script ILYx: and not in some hospital
cityneverxsleeps: yeah
Post Script ILYx: probably better for him to go too
cityneverxsleeps: he's had a good run at it
cityneverxsleeps: not that that justifies it in any way but it's better than nothing
Post Script ILYx: how old is he?
cityneverxsleeps: my age, maybe a year younger or something
cityneverxsleeps: pretty sure he's the same age as me though
Post Script ILYx: how long has he had it?
cityneverxsleeps: a long time i think
cityneverxsleeps: most of the teenagers who have been on the ward have either had it quite a few times in quick succession or they've had it since they were really little
Post Script ILYx: what about you
cityneverxsleeps: i seem to be the luckiest case i've ever come across really
Post Script ILYx: you just got it then got rid of it?
cityneverxsleeps: when i think how i felt when i was on treatment, and how long they've all been at it, i kinda got off mega easy
cityneverxsleeps: yeah
Post Script ILYx: nah
Post Script ILYx: treatment isn't easy
Post Script ILYx: whether it's 1 time
Post Script ILYx: or 1000
Post Script ILYx: hurts just the same
cityneverxsleeps: but 1000 is a hell of a lot worse and harder to get through
cityneverxsleeps: compared to them, i had it easy
Post Script ILYx: you got lucky in the sense that you only had to do it once
Post Script ILYx: but I know it still hurts you
cityneverxsleeps: and it was only 6 months of my life, a year after you count recovery
cityneverxsleeps: some of them have been doing this since they were born
cityneverxsleeps: and now they're like 16, 17
Post Script ILYx: they're used to it then
cityneverxsleeps: i can't believe you just said that
Post Script ILYx: it's not right
Post Script ILYx: but they are
Post Script ILYx: it's like breathing to them now
Post Script ILYx: it shouldn't be
Post Script ILYx: but it is
cityneverxsleeps: that's the most insensitive thing i've ever heard come out of your mouth
Post Script ILYx: I said it shouldn't be
cityneverxsleeps: you have no idea how difficult it is or what it feels like and i assure you, 6 months or 60 years, you never get used to it
Post Script ILYx: well I've never had it but it seems like it'd become sort of first nature to them
Post Script ILYx: not any easier
Post Script ILYx: but something they just do
cityneverxsleeps: if you mean the routine they get into, you don't get used to that either
Post Script ILYx: well that's what I meant
Post Script ILYx: yeah
Post Script ILYx: and I wouldn't know
Post Script ILYx: but it just seems like it
cityneverxsleeps: having cancer is not like fucking breathing
Post Script ILYx: never said that
cityneverxsleeps: it doesn't matter how long you have it and fight against it, it never gets easier
Post Script ILYx: never said that either
Post Script ILYx: 1. it was an analogy and 2. I said it seems like going through the treatment would be like breathing to them cause they've done it so often
cityneverxsleeps: do you think if i'd still been having treatment now after 3 years that i'd have gotten used to walking in throught those doors to the ward for people to shove needles in my chest and drug me up with poison that makes my hair fall out and my insides writhe?
Post Script ILYx: I think you'd be used to it yeah cause it'd be something you'd have to do to live but I don't think it'd be any easier for you
cityneverxsleeps: i see.
cityneverxsleeps signed off at 11:35:28.