Fanmix - And if I Bleed... (Suzie)
Title: And if I Bleed...
Subject: Suzie Costello
Fandom: Torchwood
Warnings: Dark themes, death, etcetera.
Notes: Thanks to beccaelizabeth's Torchwood episode transcripts for the quotes. I've always wondered a little about Suzie.
{ download the .zip HERE }
PEARLS OF LIGHT {within temptation}
// carried away by the trucelence of my world
I got lost in the search for enlightenment
the blue rain
covered my roots and I forgot where I came from \\
"It's ancient, my mum used to sing this, when I was a kid. All those years ago... before I died."
PAPER AEROPLANE {kt tunstall}
// well this stone that I have swallowed
isn't going down so well
and this road that I have followed
is leading me to Hell \\
"You've got to get inside this stuff. Surrender yourself to it. I did, with the knife, and the glove..."
LOOKING GLASS {the birthday massacre}
// these words were spoken
despite my love
a fool's devotion was set in motion
my eyes are open now \\
"Hello again. You were right. You told Jack we should liaise with the police. I was the only one who bothered. So I was the only one who saw the report."
CLEVERMIND {poets of the fall}
// just need a new direction, a new beginning
I can't hold back and I can't hold on
it's all about gratification
see me running, see me running \\
"Torchwood's gonna find out by morning, but I'll be gone. I don't know where. Far away."
BARE GRACE MISERY {nightwish}
// oh, bare grace misery
just a child without a fairytale am I
dark but so lovely
a little match girl freezing in the snow \\
"What am I gonna do? I loved this job. I really loved it. And now I've got to run. Oh, Christ. How can you do any other job after this one?"
HOMECOMING {vienna teng}
// I just want to be living as I'm dying
just like everybody else
just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile
and I don't know where I'm driving to... \\
"Driving through the dark. All this stupid, tiny stuff. We're just animals, howling in the night, cos it's better than silence."
THE WALK {imogen heap}
// it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this, yeah
no, it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault \\
"I thought you saw it. And that can trip the amnesia, one image, if you're clever. [...] It's not much good now, I can't really... but you're gonna put up a fight."
ABSCONDING {daughter darling}
// in the visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed
but a waking dream of life and light
has left me broken-hearted \\
"Yeah, you did warn me, right at the beginning. He said, 'This is the one job you can never quit.'"
MISSING (studio version) {evanescence}
// please, please forgive me
but I won't be home again
maybe someday you'll look up
and, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"isn't something missing?" \\
"Funny thing is, you always imagine when you're dead, they're gonna miss me at work. Indispensable! But look what happened. I got replaced."
CATHEDRALS {jump, little children}
// in the shadows of tall buildings, open arches endlessly kneeling
sonic landscapes, echoing vistas
someone is listening from a safe distance
the line moves slowly into a fading light, a final moment in the dead of night \\
"They come here cos there's life, that's all. Moths around a flame. Creatures clinging together in the cold."
FINAL DESTINATION {within temptation}
// I escaped my final moment
but it's turning back at me
on every corner I can feel it waiting
just a moment, no awareness
I could slip so easily
and then I'll be gone forever \\
"It's all my fault, isn't it? Never bloody stops being my fault. Can't you just let me die?"
I'M SORRY {flyleaf}
// my scars are yours today
this story ends so good
I love you and I understand
that you stood where I stood \\
"I'm sorry, Gwen. You're getting shot in the head. Slowly. And believe me, it hurts."
GIRLS THAT GLITTER LOVE THE DARK {hannah fury}
// girls that glitter deceive death
we thread ourselves through innocent flesh
and then we feign surprise when we see
that those we'd love to waste
they seem to be erased \\
"But would you? When there's a part of her that's me now? Could you really do that if I'm the only thing left of her?"
ALL MEDICATED GENIUSES {pretty girls make graves}
// this town has good hearts
bad blood, emotional scars
never getting to say what you really wanna say
we all lie so well \\
"Can't even look at me, can you? It's not like you to be so judgemental."
THE EXECUTION OF ALL THINGS {rilo kiley}
// soldiers come quickly, I feel the earth beneath my feet
I'm feeling badly, but it's not an attempt at decency
and if you're well off, well then I'm happy some for you
but I'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you \\
"Captain, my captain. Do you want to know a secret?"
GORECKI {lamb}
// if I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
for I've never known completeness
like being here \\
Subject: Suzie Costello
Fandom: Torchwood
Warnings: Dark themes, death, etcetera.
Notes: Thanks to beccaelizabeth's Torchwood episode transcripts for the quotes. I've always wondered a little about Suzie.
{ download the .zip HERE }
PEARLS OF LIGHT {within temptation}
// carried away by the trucelence of my world
I got lost in the search for enlightenment
the blue rain
covered my roots and I forgot where I came from \\
"It's ancient, my mum used to sing this, when I was a kid. All those years ago... before I died."
PAPER AEROPLANE {kt tunstall}
// well this stone that I have swallowed
isn't going down so well
and this road that I have followed
is leading me to Hell \\
"You've got to get inside this stuff. Surrender yourself to it. I did, with the knife, and the glove..."
LOOKING GLASS {the birthday massacre}
// these words were spoken
despite my love
a fool's devotion was set in motion
my eyes are open now \\
"Hello again. You were right. You told Jack we should liaise with the police. I was the only one who bothered. So I was the only one who saw the report."
CLEVERMIND {poets of the fall}
// just need a new direction, a new beginning
I can't hold back and I can't hold on
it's all about gratification
see me running, see me running \\
"Torchwood's gonna find out by morning, but I'll be gone. I don't know where. Far away."
BARE GRACE MISERY {nightwish}
// oh, bare grace misery
just a child without a fairytale am I
dark but so lovely
a little match girl freezing in the snow \\
"What am I gonna do? I loved this job. I really loved it. And now I've got to run. Oh, Christ. How can you do any other job after this one?"
HOMECOMING {vienna teng}
// I just want to be living as I'm dying
just like everybody else
just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile
and I don't know where I'm driving to... \\
"Driving through the dark. All this stupid, tiny stuff. We're just animals, howling in the night, cos it's better than silence."
THE WALK {imogen heap}
// it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this, yeah
no, it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault \\
"I thought you saw it. And that can trip the amnesia, one image, if you're clever. [...] It's not much good now, I can't really... but you're gonna put up a fight."
ABSCONDING {daughter darling}
// in the visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed
but a waking dream of life and light
has left me broken-hearted \\
"Yeah, you did warn me, right at the beginning. He said, 'This is the one job you can never quit.'"
MISSING (studio version) {evanescence}
// please, please forgive me
but I won't be home again
maybe someday you'll look up
and, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"isn't something missing?" \\
"Funny thing is, you always imagine when you're dead, they're gonna miss me at work. Indispensable! But look what happened. I got replaced."
CATHEDRALS {jump, little children}
// in the shadows of tall buildings, open arches endlessly kneeling
sonic landscapes, echoing vistas
someone is listening from a safe distance
the line moves slowly into a fading light, a final moment in the dead of night \\
"They come here cos there's life, that's all. Moths around a flame. Creatures clinging together in the cold."
FINAL DESTINATION {within temptation}
// I escaped my final moment
but it's turning back at me
on every corner I can feel it waiting
just a moment, no awareness
I could slip so easily
and then I'll be gone forever \\
"It's all my fault, isn't it? Never bloody stops being my fault. Can't you just let me die?"
I'M SORRY {flyleaf}
// my scars are yours today
this story ends so good
I love you and I understand
that you stood where I stood \\
"I'm sorry, Gwen. You're getting shot in the head. Slowly. And believe me, it hurts."
GIRLS THAT GLITTER LOVE THE DARK {hannah fury}
// girls that glitter deceive death
we thread ourselves through innocent flesh
and then we feign surprise when we see
that those we'd love to waste
they seem to be erased \\
"But would you? When there's a part of her that's me now? Could you really do that if I'm the only thing left of her?"
ALL MEDICATED GENIUSES {pretty girls make graves}
// this town has good hearts
bad blood, emotional scars
never getting to say what you really wanna say
we all lie so well \\
"Can't even look at me, can you? It's not like you to be so judgemental."
THE EXECUTION OF ALL THINGS {rilo kiley}
// soldiers come quickly, I feel the earth beneath my feet
I'm feeling badly, but it's not an attempt at decency
and if you're well off, well then I'm happy some for you
but I'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you \\
"Captain, my captain. Do you want to know a secret?"
GORECKI {lamb}
// if I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
for I've never known completeness
like being here \\