Short!fic - Rely
Title: Rely
Author: Ry (curseangel / dreamsforlease)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Dark themes. Season four spoilers.
Characters/Pairings: Sam and Dean Winchester.
Summary: 4x10 "Heaven and Hell" coda. We (nakitamanomiko and I) felt this was necessary, so Sam invaded my head and poked me with a stick until I wrote this.
The admission scares the shit out of you. You're not going to deny that, unless he asks and then of course you'll say it doesn't, because look at his face, you can't tell the truth when he's like that. It's not because you think he's... like that or whatever, cruel and hurtful; you know he's not, you know the difference. But it's plain as day what this is doing to him, and you don't know what to say to it. You're sure as hell not in any damn position to be telling him it's okay, that it doesn't mean he's bad, not with the way you've been acting and the way you're not even sure of that... for you or for him.
He's not looking at you, but you can hear the tears in his voice, and you know it shouldn't take you the minutes it does to realize it and move. You feel him tense when you finally get your arms around him, and this shouldn't feel as unfamiliar as it does. But he relaxes, folds into you and lets you close like you haven't been since the day he came back, since he found out about you and Ruby.
You can tell he doesn't think he should allow this, holding back just that extra degree, refusing to give up. You're not sure if it's because of the Ruby thing or if he just doesn't think he deserves the comfort, but you hold on until he can't anymore, until he rests his head on your shoulder - it's been so long since he's let this happen, you know it feels like giving up. You can feel the tears there through your t-shirt.
He doesn't pull away, and you don't let go until you're sure there's nothing left there, that he's let it out. You know how long that takes, how much he's bottled it all up. You'll have a sore arm in the morning, but you don't care.
It's worth it for the way he looks at you, his wordless thanks and the way neither of you mention it again.
Author: Ry (curseangel / dreamsforlease)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Dark themes. Season four spoilers.
Characters/Pairings: Sam and Dean Winchester.
Summary: 4x10 "Heaven and Hell" coda. We (nakitamanomiko and I) felt this was necessary, so Sam invaded my head and poked me with a stick until I wrote this.
The admission scares the shit out of you. You're not going to deny that, unless he asks and then of course you'll say it doesn't, because look at his face, you can't tell the truth when he's like that. It's not because you think he's... like that or whatever, cruel and hurtful; you know he's not, you know the difference. But it's plain as day what this is doing to him, and you don't know what to say to it. You're sure as hell not in any damn position to be telling him it's okay, that it doesn't mean he's bad, not with the way you've been acting and the way you're not even sure of that... for you or for him.
He's not looking at you, but you can hear the tears in his voice, and you know it shouldn't take you the minutes it does to realize it and move. You feel him tense when you finally get your arms around him, and this shouldn't feel as unfamiliar as it does. But he relaxes, folds into you and lets you close like you haven't been since the day he came back, since he found out about you and Ruby.
You can tell he doesn't think he should allow this, holding back just that extra degree, refusing to give up. You're not sure if it's because of the Ruby thing or if he just doesn't think he deserves the comfort, but you hold on until he can't anymore, until he rests his head on your shoulder - it's been so long since he's let this happen, you know it feels like giving up. You can feel the tears there through your t-shirt.
He doesn't pull away, and you don't let go until you're sure there's nothing left there, that he's let it out. You know how long that takes, how much he's bottled it all up. You'll have a sore arm in the morning, but you don't care.
It's worth it for the way he looks at you, his wordless thanks and the way neither of you mention it again.