Plotbook bits - The One with JW & The One Where Dean Gets Smashed
No. 1, aka "That One with JW and No Sam"
John isn't sure how long it's been since he's been Dean's father, but he knows it's been a long time; he'd feel worse about it if he didn't know what he was preparing him for, what they had to do in order to survive. Still, he couldn't pretend it didn't sting when he realized it, how long it had been since he'd been anything but "sir" to Dean.
As it turned out, he was "sir" until something was wrong. Until something got too close and Dean got sick, shaking and feverish under the motel blankets. It was funny-terrifying how sudden the illness brought his son from a capable hunter to a scared, sick sixteen year old boy. And there was nothing John could do - it was a supernatural disease, and he had no idea how to fix it, no matter how much he wanted to.
"Dad..." He cut himself off, voice too-weak, tone tearing at John's heart. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he reached over, pushing back his son's hair, an absent affectionate motion that was utterly bizarre for him these days. But Sam wasn't there to let take his place in this - he was staying with Pastor Jim while John and Dean took on the too-dangerous-for-Sam hunt. So it was down to him.
"You're gonna be okay, son," John told him, neverminding that he wasn't anywhere near that sure. But he wouldn't admit that, not now - it wasn't a thought he could bring himself to entertain. "You'll be fine."
Eventually, Dean fell into a restless sleep, with vivid fever dreams that worried John just hearing his cries, the way he asked for John - called him Dad - during those brief waking moments. It broke his heart a little, as he sat up with him. He didn't sleep, and when Dean was well again, it wasn't mentioned.
It was just between them, like a secret. As if no one else could know that John was still Dean's father.
No. 2, aka "The One Where Dean Gets Smashed"
Dean comes back wasted, and it's the first time Sam's seen him really drunk since high school. He's bruised and a little bloodied from some barroom fight gone too far, and quiet from the liquor. Dean's more vocal on a buzz, but he's a quiet drunk, dull-eyed, sad and angry.
He's avoidant, but Sam manages to get him to sit down and take off his shirt, let him look at his injuries. There's a bad gash from someone's pen-knife near his ribs, but otherwise it's just bruises. He gets the peroxide and bandages, and he tries to pretend it doesn't worry the hell out of him how unresponsive Dean is when he's like this. He's practically despondent - even the peroxide sting doesn't prompt a reaction.
Dean's apology comes as a surprise, just as Sam is pulling away to put the bandages and bottle aside. He freezes up, asks what he's sorry for, but Dean has lapsed into silence again, staring sullenly at the wall. Sam wonders, not for the first time but usually not so urgently, what's going on in his brother's head, and comes up dry.
John isn't sure how long it's been since he's been Dean's father, but he knows it's been a long time; he'd feel worse about it if he didn't know what he was preparing him for, what they had to do in order to survive. Still, he couldn't pretend it didn't sting when he realized it, how long it had been since he'd been anything but "sir" to Dean.
As it turned out, he was "sir" until something was wrong. Until something got too close and Dean got sick, shaking and feverish under the motel blankets. It was funny-terrifying how sudden the illness brought his son from a capable hunter to a scared, sick sixteen year old boy. And there was nothing John could do - it was a supernatural disease, and he had no idea how to fix it, no matter how much he wanted to.
"Dad..." He cut himself off, voice too-weak, tone tearing at John's heart. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he reached over, pushing back his son's hair, an absent affectionate motion that was utterly bizarre for him these days. But Sam wasn't there to let take his place in this - he was staying with Pastor Jim while John and Dean took on the too-dangerous-for-Sam hunt. So it was down to him.
"You're gonna be okay, son," John told him, neverminding that he wasn't anywhere near that sure. But he wouldn't admit that, not now - it wasn't a thought he could bring himself to entertain. "You'll be fine."
Eventually, Dean fell into a restless sleep, with vivid fever dreams that worried John just hearing his cries, the way he asked for John - called him Dad - during those brief waking moments. It broke his heart a little, as he sat up with him. He didn't sleep, and when Dean was well again, it wasn't mentioned.
It was just between them, like a secret. As if no one else could know that John was still Dean's father.
No. 2, aka "The One Where Dean Gets Smashed"
Dean comes back wasted, and it's the first time Sam's seen him really drunk since high school. He's bruised and a little bloodied from some barroom fight gone too far, and quiet from the liquor. Dean's more vocal on a buzz, but he's a quiet drunk, dull-eyed, sad and angry.
He's avoidant, but Sam manages to get him to sit down and take off his shirt, let him look at his injuries. There's a bad gash from someone's pen-knife near his ribs, but otherwise it's just bruises. He gets the peroxide and bandages, and he tries to pretend it doesn't worry the hell out of him how unresponsive Dean is when he's like this. He's practically despondent - even the peroxide sting doesn't prompt a reaction.
Dean's apology comes as a surprise, just as Sam is pulling away to put the bandages and bottle aside. He freezes up, asks what he's sorry for, but Dean has lapsed into silence again, staring sullenly at the wall. Sam wonders, not for the first time but usually not so urgently, what's going on in his brother's head, and comes up dry.