(no subject)
When times are bad, the only thing we can do is hope for a savior, hope for something to come along to erase the tribulations that we currently face. But even when the times are good, we simultaneously are enjoying what we have, but also dreading the day we lose it. Why is it that nothing gold can stay? What can we do to solidify happiness? When the storm comes, the only defense we have is to get out of the way, and take cover, and wait for it to pass. Why hasn't anyone found a way to prevent it from coming our way? We all know how, but it means diverting it to someone else and making them endure our own fate. I just wish things were always good for everyone. Except for those that deserve what they have. Fate. What a funny thing to consider. A predetermined path that we have no control over. A set way of life that no matter what actions what take, what thoughts we think, or what morals are set in stone, we'll end of living in that situation. Fate is bullshit. We are who we are because of how we think, and how we handle ourselves. Despite the off-sets in our lives that cause us to do things that make us seem "not ourselves" or "not know why we did that," we still are everything we've been through, everything we've seen, everything we've done. Forever changing, but forevermore still the same. Why can't I find someone who's found themselves. Why I can't find myself in someone who is found, or why can't anyone find me in themselves. Fate, if you will, has dealt me an ugly hand in some situations. How selfish of me. I am so fortunate in so many areas, that it almost seems ridiculous that I want more. That's our nature, want what we don't have and take what we think we'll never achieve honorably. Where's my savior? Where's my cover from the storm? Thoughts driving on the way home. I just wish I had a simpler mind. One that didn't care and could be happy by the most simplistic things. I want something real. I want something that won't dissipate into a "history" or a notebook full of "I'm sorry"'s. Someday it will come. Everyone gets theirs in the end. Some day it will come.