A Life In Dreams: Chapter 2
And with no further delay: Chapter 2, where things are still strange.
Word Count thus far: 4,924
A Life In Dreams
Wes manages not to fall asleep during homeroom and his morning classes, but it was close during Mr. Stevens’ English class. He likes the class well enough but reviews always made his mind wander, and he has a tendency of doodling away ( Read more... )
Word Count thus far: 4,924
A Life In Dreams
Wes manages not to fall asleep during homeroom and his morning classes, but it was close during Mr. Stevens’ English class. He likes the class well enough but reviews always made his mind wander, and he has a tendency of doodling away ( Read more... )
Lay off the drugs Wes! XD sorry i had to.
"The bubble in his hands pops, showering the sand and the front of his shirt with sweet-smelling liquid that looked like water under the moon’s light. The few droplets that flew upwards become pink sparkles, and from these Wes hears a woman’s song.".... XD remember when you said I comment on sex even when it's not there? This is one of those times. I'm not going to say anything else.
Okay now the things I really really liked: the song was beautiful and the bubble imagery was terribly compelling. And again the twins are just so adorable.
Two little tiny nitpicks: (1) "It wasn’t human- no freaking way!"... *shudder*. The rest of this bit was perfectly okay but this line really bugs me for some reason. Change it please? (2) Are you going to use italics for the dream sequences always? I'm sorry but for some reason it hurts my eyes. Perhaps you could switch fonts instead? Maybe something cursivey? (or comic sans! XD)
*Huggles!* Keep up the wonderful work and tell me what you think of my progress! ^___^
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... I stand by my comment. :P
i shall play with fonts for the dreaming; hurting your eyes is not my goal. As for that line, I don't see why it'd bother you... but if I think of something, I'll tweak it later on.
hai hai...
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