097. Uncomfortable (House)
Title: Uncomfortable.
Fandom: House
Genre: Crack
Word Count: 450
Summary: House invest in shower dye and uses it.
Purple
The sun had barely risen when Wilson stepped into the shower. He stopped to arrange what he needed (a wash cloth, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, etc.) the way he liked it before closing his eyes. Showers relaxed him, and having his eyes closed only seemed to emphasize the soothing effect of the water falling onto his body.
A few minutes later, he opened them and saw purple. Literally.
He quickly shut his eyes to prevent more of the dyed water from entering, and twisted the shower knob. Eyes stinging as if he had just rubbed shampoo into them, he groped for the towel, parting the shower curtain.
Then he heard the whirl of a camera as someone took a picture. “HOUSE!”
“You bellowed?” The sarcasm was nearly drowned in mirth, but he could still hear it. The crippled man had been waiting for this to happen from the doorway, the bastard.
“I’m going to kill you!”
“You wouldn’t hurt a cripple.” The man cackled, quickly hobbling away anyway.
The front door shut with a taunting crash as he was putting his pants on.
Frustrated, he took a glance at the mirror and did not look away for a good ten minutes.
~~~
‘Just a little further…’ Wilson thought, creeping through the hospital’s hallways. Thankfully, the oncology department had an outside entrance close to his office, so he just needed to pass through those doors and -
Cuddy was waiting for him. Shit.
“House was early today. And he was smiling.” She started, only looking up when he made a strangled groan. “… You’re purple.”
“No? Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Wilson fumed, irritably rubbing his eyes with a hand.
Eyes wide, she held a hand over her mouth to hide the smile. James Wilson was as prim as usual, his white lab coat ironed, his eyebrows perfectly trimmed, his tie perfectly knotted; but there was a distinct purple hue to his skin and his eyes were a little pink from being rubbed a lot.
“Just get it out of your system.” He said manfully, unpacking his briefcase.
Five minutes passed before she regained control of herself enough to apologize, and then she still broke into giggling fits every so often as they talked.
~~~
“I wasn’t really feeling - Dr. Wilson, are you okay?” His first patient asked as soon as she walked into his office. “You’re… um…”
“I believe the word you’re looking for is purple.” He said wearily.
“Well, um, yes. What happened?”
“An idiot forgot when April Fool’s was.”
She just smiled, and he knew she’d laugh when she got out of his office.
~~~
Cameron wasn’t much better. She stopped by his office while waiting for test results, stood in the doorway for a moment biting her lip. After he looked up, she closed the door and lost control.
She was kind enough to apply some make-up to hide his skin colour, and she even offered to let him sleep on her couch so he wouldn't kill House.
Index Table
Fandom: House
Genre: Crack
Word Count: 450
Summary: House invest in shower dye and uses it.
Purple
The sun had barely risen when Wilson stepped into the shower. He stopped to arrange what he needed (a wash cloth, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, etc.) the way he liked it before closing his eyes. Showers relaxed him, and having his eyes closed only seemed to emphasize the soothing effect of the water falling onto his body.
A few minutes later, he opened them and saw purple. Literally.
He quickly shut his eyes to prevent more of the dyed water from entering, and twisted the shower knob. Eyes stinging as if he had just rubbed shampoo into them, he groped for the towel, parting the shower curtain.
Then he heard the whirl of a camera as someone took a picture. “HOUSE!”
“You bellowed?” The sarcasm was nearly drowned in mirth, but he could still hear it. The crippled man had been waiting for this to happen from the doorway, the bastard.
“I’m going to kill you!”
“You wouldn’t hurt a cripple.” The man cackled, quickly hobbling away anyway.
The front door shut with a taunting crash as he was putting his pants on.
Frustrated, he took a glance at the mirror and did not look away for a good ten minutes.
~~~
‘Just a little further…’ Wilson thought, creeping through the hospital’s hallways. Thankfully, the oncology department had an outside entrance close to his office, so he just needed to pass through those doors and -
Cuddy was waiting for him. Shit.
“House was early today. And he was smiling.” She started, only looking up when he made a strangled groan. “… You’re purple.”
“No? Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Wilson fumed, irritably rubbing his eyes with a hand.
Eyes wide, she held a hand over her mouth to hide the smile. James Wilson was as prim as usual, his white lab coat ironed, his eyebrows perfectly trimmed, his tie perfectly knotted; but there was a distinct purple hue to his skin and his eyes were a little pink from being rubbed a lot.
“Just get it out of your system.” He said manfully, unpacking his briefcase.
Five minutes passed before she regained control of herself enough to apologize, and then she still broke into giggling fits every so often as they talked.
~~~
“I wasn’t really feeling - Dr. Wilson, are you okay?” His first patient asked as soon as she walked into his office. “You’re… um…”
“I believe the word you’re looking for is purple.” He said wearily.
“Well, um, yes. What happened?”
“An idiot forgot when April Fool’s was.”
She just smiled, and he knew she’d laugh when she got out of his office.
~~~
Cameron wasn’t much better. She stopped by his office while waiting for test results, stood in the doorway for a moment biting her lip. After he looked up, she closed the door and lost control.
She was kind enough to apply some make-up to hide his skin colour, and she even offered to let him sleep on her couch so he wouldn't kill House.
Index Table