You Are My Eyes Drabbles 74-100
74. Dark
It was during a Halloween party that somebody dared us to find the exit to his basement without a light for ten dollars. I agreed quickly, figuring that it'd be quite simple and would get us away from the group of drinkers. Kelly's grip on my hand tightened somewhat when we went down the stairs and they closed the door behind us. I didn't think much of it until I noticed her hand was getting sweaty. "Are you okay?" I asked curiously.
"It's pitch black." She answered uneasily. "They must've boarded the windows or something because there's absolutely no light!"
"Really?" I put my right hand against the wall and started to walk.
Kelly stood still.
"Kelly? Are you okay?" I asked, stopping abruptly.
"I got stuck in a cellar at my parent's cottage once." She answered, voice wavering like the light of a candle. "There was no light in there either."
"I see."
"You're not scared?" She asked, sounding tiny.
"Why should I be? I've lived my life in the dark." I hugged her, feeling her hold onto me desperately. "You're fine, I'll find the way out of here and then we can leave this stupid party. What do you think of pumpkin pie when we get home? It fits with Halloween and I'm starting to get hungry." I rambled, feeling my way around the room while Kelly pretty much stayed glued to me. Some prat even put up a bunch of bulletin boards to make a maze, so it took me longer than it would have otherwise, but we did find our way out.
Kelly still refused to leave my side for hours though.
75. Shade
"It's so ho~ot..." Kelly groaned as we walked through the park one day. "Let's find some shade."
"Ok." I shrugged. I was dressed in a tank-top and shorts so the heat of the sun did not bother me much. I'd rather be toasty in the summertime than freezing in the winter, that's for sure.
Of course, I only realized Kelly's ulterior motive when we were safely beneath a large willow tree. Leaves rustled in the wind around us, distracting me long enough for Kelly to pull me into her lap and kiss me soundly.
Not that I'm complaining anyway.
76. Who?
"You're kidding." The woman chocked on her Pepsi, and spent the next moment trying to get his breath back. "It must've been someone else."
"No, I saw them!"
"But Carolyn's straight!"
"Apparently not as much as you think."
"Are you really sure?"
"YES! How many other blind women do you know with that smoky voice? I could recognize it in a crowd at Scotia Square at New Years."
"Well it is a little distinct." Lillis agreed reluctantly.
77. What?
"So what happened?"
"I was walking past the old willow downtown and I heard the sound of a couple kissing. Normally, I wouldn't bother taking another look but the urge hit me this time so I snuck towards the side of the willow. I heard Carolyn laugh and saw that she was straddling someone."
"Could you see them well?"
"Well, there were leaves blocking me from view but I saw well enough. Carolyn was kissing someone beneath that tree, and that person was definitely female. She even said Carolyn's name!"
"So what's were they talking about?"
"They were basically sweet-talking each other. Carolyn's voice made her descriptions very sensual." He blushed brightly, remembering.
78. Where?
"Which park was this again?"
"South Park, near South street." He answered. The bright light that came to his eyes while he was spreading the gossip dimmed a little at Lillis' calculating look. He thought they'd be able to laugh about Carolyn's exploration of her lesbian side, but Lillis seemed in the mood to do anything but laugh. In fact, she looked a little angry now that he thought about it, and he was used to making her angry. He could not remember the two women ever getting angry at each other though. "Um... Lilly-dear, what's going through that head of yours?"
"Do you know where Carolyn said she was going for lunch today?" She asked mildly.
"Cafeteria as far as I know. Her and Lisa usually eat together now that its cold out."
"Was it Lisa?"
"Um, no." He blinked. "Nobody I recognized actually."
"I'll see you later "
79. When?
Lillis found Lisa in the cafeteria, eating with Monty. "Have you seen Carolyn?" She asked once she realized the woman was nowhere in sight.
"She went out for a few minutes to talk with a friend." Monty answered in his usual monotone, lazy eyes watching her carefully.
"Any idea when she'll get back?"
"Probably in five minutes or so." Lisa shrugged, eyes narrowing as something occured to her. "Why are you looking for Carolyn? You know she has another half and hour before she needs to go back."
"I need to talk to her about something not work-related." Lillis answered curtly, giving the head receptionist and the security guard a polite nod of thanks before going towards the main doors.
"I don't like this." Lisa mumbled.
"I agree." Monty rumbled, tugging his hat lower.
80. Why?
Lillis grabbed her coat from her office and went to wait for Carolyn just outside the doors to the radio station. She did not have to wait long before Carolyn came within sight, holding hands with another woman Lillis vaguely remembered. It took her a moment to actually place her as Carolyn's roommate. In the five minutes it took the couple to reach the station, Lillis recovered somewhat from her shock and was patiently waiting. "Hullo Carolyn."
"Lillis?" Her co-worker asked in surprise, turning away from her roommate to face Lillis. "What's up?"
"Why did you lie to me?"
"'Scuse me?" Carolyn cocked her head to the side. "Lie about what?"
"Why did you tell me you had a boyfriend when you're actually seeing her?" Lillis asked, noting the brief flash of hurt on Karate-woman's face before she regained control of herself. "Kyle saw you two kissing beneath a willow."
"You're the one that assumed that I was seeing a guy." Carolyn pointed out, blushing guiltily.
"Why didn't you correct me then?"
"It's none of your business who I'm dating." The blind woman growled, her grip on her lover's hand tightening even as the woman tried to pull away.
"I thought you were straight."
"So did I." Carolyn shrugged. "But Kelly changed my mind about a few notions." And then the woman kissed Kelly on the mouth, silently daring Lillis to say something.
81. How?
"How long has this been gong on?" Lillis said weakly, looking side-to-side for any gawkers and finding none.
"A year and a half or so." Carolyn answered vaguely. The woman beside her, Kelly, looked like she wanted to say something but decided against it. She was looking at the woman at her side in surprise however.
"So you must've had... um..."
"Not that it's any of your business, but yes. And I do like it. Are we done with this interrogation yet? because Kelly has to go back to work and it really is none of your business what I do on my own time." Carolyn growled
"I'll... um... see you in twenty minutes." Lillis finished, somewhat unnerved by Carolyn's attitude.
Kelly gave her an understanding nod over Carolyn's shoulder as Lillis went back inside.
82. If
Over the next few days, Carolyn started to wonder about whether or not she had been a little too abrupt with her co-worker. Lillis was treating her as if she were a bomb set to go off at any moment, and though her and Kyle still squabbled, she usually broke it off when Carolyn came back to the office. Rumors about her were starting to pick up speed in the building, whispers about her dating her female roommate, musings about how long there had been a lesbian in there midst.
If she had thought a little before acting, she probably would not have kissed Kelly like that. If she had not given the security cameras such a tantalizing bit of her life, the rumors would have died in a few hours; now, they were still growing stronger a week later.
She did not regret acknowledging Kelly as her girlfriend though. She knew that her evasiveness on the subject made Kelly feel a little shunned, so that was one weight off her back. If only it had not been replaced so quickly...
83. And
And with the growing quantity of sidelong glances in her direction, condescending smiles, and prayers for her soul; her friendship with Monty and Lisa grew accordingly. What had been an off-and-on habit of eating lunch together now became an established routine, where Monty's profession assured safety from physical hazing, and Lisa's connections prevented anything from happening to her job security.
If they any pressure, they did not tell Carolyn about it. Even if the woman did not seem affected by the attention she was getting, it was hard for them to believe that she did not feel any strain whatsoever. When she first joined the workforce, there had been a wave of curious onlookers to see a blind woman at work, but that had faded in a month and no one had thought much about it for a long time; now, some people were questioning the wisdom of hiring a gay blind woman.
Lillis and Kyle did not treat her any differently after a day or so however.
84. He
"You did what?" He demanded, taking the offered apple with his grubby hands. She sat down on the bench next to him, sighing.
"I told them I was going out with Kelly. Then I kissed her within range of the security cameras so now everybody and their siblings know I'm kissing women."
"Do you regret their knowing?"
"I don't care whether or not they know, I just want them to mind their own business and stop telling me how I'm damning my soul and other such nonsense. A few slipped pamphlets into my ingoing file but I can't read them anyway so I bring them home. Kelly usually ends up using them as fuel for a fire."
"And what about Kelly?"
"She's worried that I'll leave her because people think I'm gay."
"Aren't you?"
"At the moment, yeah. But Peter, it's not like I suddenly turned purple, is it? I mean, it's not like I'm having sex with animals or anything so why do they want to talk about it so much?"
"They don't have anything better to talk about?" Peter guessed.
"It's a radio station, we're always getting fresh news." She said flatly.
"I don't know Carolyn, people like to gossip." He ate some of the apple.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay out on the streets again?"
"I'm fine." He sighed. "Stop worrying already."
"I will when I know you're safe. I don't want to lose another fatherly person."
85. She
As far as Carolyn was concerned, there were two women she would ever love enough to have sex with. Of the two, Kelly was the one she really loved. She was the one who brought the sun's warmth to the night, she was the one who made her want to better herself, the one she trusted with her heart.
She was the woman, who for all her strength and martial arts training, still wanted Carolyn to love her as if she was a delicate little flower. She was a woman, despite her masculine tendency to try and protect Carolyn from everything. They played their games, but as far as each was concerned, the other was the only one they wanted.
86. Choices
Once a choice is made, you cannot go back and undo it. Whether it was a choice of going left or right, of starting to walk with your left foot or your right foot; vows made with words or to your own body must be carried out or you will trip. Words, something only humans have been known to master, bind their users and the ones who hear them to a promise. A shattered promise carries a certain weight, a negative reputation, a perception of oiliness just beneath the person's surface that drives some people to simply walk away, deal left unmade. A kept promise can have the opposite effect, but it can hurt just as much since Fate is not bound by humanity's view of right or wrong.
Anita has learned more than she wanted to know about choices; and yet she still finds that Carolyn, who apparently decides things on instinct, usually ends up regretting less. She tries it a few times, but thinking obscures her first impressions and she continues to choose the old way.
In a way, that is also a choice.
87. Life
For a long time, Kelly believed that life was nothing more than an experiment on how many things she could get wrong. Her childhood had been filled with rich food and vast educational activities, but she always felt alone when she looked out of the window of her tutor's house and saw a group of children playing in the street with nothing more than some towels. Sometimes she tried to figure out what they were playing, but games of imagination required some explanation between players and she wasn't close enough to make out anything other than laughter.
Unlike her brother, she was not content to stay at home and do as her parents dictated. She threw herself into the world of college and was stunned to find out that boys, who were supposed to really interest a girl her age, did not; but girls, who seemed to surround her in classes, did. Her roommate in particular was interesting enough that she allowed herself to be pulled into a world that she had never expected to enter.
In those two years, she learned how to live, but she always found that something was saying 'wait a minute' in the back of her mind. Her disownment taught her the value of getting a good job, and though Anita tried her best to help Kelly, she always felt a little adrift.
When Anita finally left her to pursue her career, Kelly felt like the ground beneath her feet had suddenly decided to turn into the ocean. She came close to drowning more than a few times, but Carolyn finally pulled her to shore and drained the sea of turmoil from her spirit. She finally found life.
88. School
The reason why Carolyn rarely talked about her school days was fairly simple, there was nothing to tell. She lived off her parents life insurance and the disability pension the government gave her, she paid for her journalism courses in the hopes of being able to get a real job. Doing nothing her whole life seemed like a waste, and her job as a radio host during school had given her ideas. Her aunt seemed proud that she was actually trying to do something with her life, and sometimes brought her food to make sure she was not about to starve before she amounted to anything.
The fact that she was constantly made fun of because of her blindness seemed to escape her memory whenever she talked about that time.
89. Work
Relationships were work. I ought to know that, being a relationship counselor and all. 'Brilliant Anita. Getting her angry over something stupid like forgetting her birthday was an act of sheer brilliance. For such a smart woman, you have the common sense of a stump.'
Which is why I'm wondering why my feet took me to the radio station. Shouldn't I get a gift before showing my face again?
But no... My feet are listening to some other frequency and now I'm going up the stairs and through the doors. I sashay my way over to the receptionists' desk, and am somewhat relieved to see that Lisa isn’t there. "Where's Carolyn?" I guess my lips are listening to the same frequency as my feet.
-I.E. Not my mind.
"She's having lunch. May I take a message?" The girl's polite face has a tinge of disgust to it.
"And Lisa?"
"Is with Carolyn, probably."
Well, since the lunch area is a public place... My feet and I reach an accord and I'm off to the lunch area. As I walk, I hear whispers about my women that make my fingers twitch with the urge to strangle someone. No wonder my poor Lisa has been looking so stressed! I can't believe nobody told me Carolyn was being dissed at work.
It's time for a little Anita ass-kicking action.
90. Home
"Ah! Carolyn, long time no see my dear!" I squeezed in between my startled girl-love and Carolyn, who's more accustomed to my randomness. "How's things at home?"
"Not bad, you?" Such a fox, I must say.
"Absolutely well now that I have my head on a little less upside-down. Thanks to you." I grinned, knowing that she was about to blush.
Damn I'm good.
"What are you planning Anita?" She demanded suspiciously. I've raised her well, I must say.
"I was just about to provide a little relationship counseling for the station." I answered, pitching my voice so it'd carry across the suddenly-quiet lunch room. "I heard a few unpleasant notions floating around that I want to correct."
"Anita-"
"Consider it a birthday present for Lisa." I winked at the woman in question, pleased when her pallor lessened a little.
After I talked circles around Carolyn's co-workers, something I've always been good at (Kelly says it's because I'm a blabbermouth but she doesn't appreciate me properly), I gave them a sudden rush of information of the latest gossip I've heard through the grapevine. That sent the journalists in them off on an orgasm and effectively got them out of my dear girls' combined hair.
Carolyn laughed, sounding more carefree than she has been in a while
From the look in Lisa's eyes, I think I'm forgiven. Hell, I know I'm in for a special little something tonight.
91. Birthday
"Happy birthda~ay!" Anita practically sang, pulling Kelly into a dance and leaving Lisa shaking her head near me. "You two dance!" She ordered, moving too fast for Kelly to do anything other than follow her lead.
I gave Lisa a sheepish smile. "Should we indulge the lunatic?"
"Ah, why not?" Lisa put her hands on my body and started to guide me into a slow dance. "We'll just have to make them jealous, won't we?" I have a feeling she winked at the other two.
It's enough to make a girl feel rather outnumbered.
Either way, it was fun to dance with Lisa since she knew what she was doing. At the end of the song, she gave me a quick kiss and then Anita stole me away with a cackle. "Well, everybody else here has done it so I was curious." I heard her explain to Kelly, somewhat sheepishly. I stopped paying attention to them once Anita started to kiss me tenderly, hands wandering.
After a few minutes of this, Kelly practically carried me away from Anita's grasp and started to dance with me. "So you never did tell what my present was." She whispered.
"Well, I was thinking of wearing your cat-bell chocker and the felt cat ears from my Halloween costume." I stood up on my tippy toes to whisper in her ear.
She shivered, her breath catching in her throat. "Really...?" She breathed, sliding her hand under my shirt possessively. "And what else?"
"Well, I was thinking nothing." I kissed her.
If there was any space between our bodies while she kissed back, I didn't notice any.
"I do believe Kelly's getting some later." Anita stage-whispered. "She has that 'sex' look of anticipation on her face. The vixen trumped my present again."
"Shut up Anita." Lisa groaned.
"Kissing me usually works." The woman answered cheekily.
92. Christmas
Kelly had already unpacked the fake Christmas tree from its box, fluffed its branches so they weren't all bunch together, and was unraveling the lights when Carolyn got up one morning. "I heard thumping- I smell something musty... Did you unpack the tree?" She asked, stopping a foot away from one of the string of lights Kelly had straightened out.
"Yes m'dear." She grinned, escorting the blind woman to a couch so she didn't step on any of the ornaments strewn everywhere. "You're up early."
"You were making enough noise to wake the dead." She answered flatly, yawning.
"Harsh."
"True though." Another yawn. "I think I'll take a nap..."
"Go ahead love." Kelly smirked. It really wasn't a very nice idea, but she was tempted...
When Carolyn woke up half an hour later to the whirl of Kelly's camera, she was effectively wrapped up in tinsel, lights, and ribbon; and there was a bow on the nape of her neck. "When I get out of this, you're so dead." She growled, blushing brightly.
Kelly managed to calm her down after a couple hours.
93. Thanksgiving
"Thank you for the company." Kelly intoned, raising her class.
"Cheers!"
"Thank you for the visions of loveliness around me." Anita drawled. "And Peter, who is lovely in spirit."
"Thanks Anita." He mumbled, joining the rest of them in "Cheers!" He definitely heard Carolyn's snicker but refused to respond. "Thank you for second chances and a person's innate goodness." He toasted.
"Cheers!"
"Thank you for chance meetings and love." Lisa smiled shyly, blushing at Peter's amused look.
"Aww, sweetie." Anita kissed the other woman, an impish smile on her face. "Yummy..." She purred, making Lisa's blush deepen. "Cheers!"
"Cheers!" They echoed.
"And thank you for the food!" Carolyn chirped, starting to eat as everybody stared at her. "Wot?"
"You just lost me five dollars." Anita told her mournfully. "I was sure you'd mention family."
"Well, you guys already know that so why would I bother?" Carolyn shrugged, taking a sip of water.
"I'll take that five dollars now." Peter smirked.
"It's in my bra." Anita smirked back. "Try and take it from me."
Peter blushed and decided it could wait a little.
94. Independence
"Are guys going to come and see the fireworks or what?" Anita asked, showing up at their doorstep an hour before the fireworks were scheduled to start. "It's July 1st you know!"
"I don't think so." Kelly answered, eyes going to Carolyn's white cane and back.
"Hey Carolyn, don't you want to check out the atmosphere at the waterfront?" Anita wheedled, stepping past Kelly into the house. "Caro~oly~yn."
The woman was sitting on the couch, listening to her CD player with her eyes closed. But when Anita plopped down on the couch on top of her, she removed the earphones and pointedly pushed Anita off of her. "Yes?"
"Meany." Anita removed herself from the floor. "Did you want to go see the fireworks?"
"No."
"I don't think Kelly's seen them in years."
Carolyn considered that. "Really?"
"Mhmm." Anita opened the CD player to see a CD by 'Snow Patrol'.
"Fine." Carolyn shivered, going towards her room.
"Where you going?"
"To get a bigger sweater."
And though Kelly did enjoy the fireworks; she did not enjoy the fact that Carolyn shuddered every time one went off. Anita watched Kelly hold Carolyn protectively for a moment, before curiosity got the better of her. "What's wrong?"
"She's scared of thunder." Kelly explained.
Anita winced. "Oops."
95. New Year
New Year's was a time of promises to come. Though you can never escape your own past, having an established time for the change of year gave an illusion of being able to completely start over. This led to a flurry of promises: to stop smoking, to get in better shape, to be a better person, to work harder, to raise marks, to never go out with men/women you know are bad for you, to save money by walking to work, etc.
Some people succeeded in their goals, some tried hard but failed, and some forgot their promise as soon as temptation came along. 'I Love You's broke hearts and healed them in equal amounts, and what was really important was knowing yourself.
Kelly and Carolyn did not exactly pay attention to the countdowns performed throughout the country. It was too cold out to go stand with the people in Scotia Square, and Carolyn refused to watch C100's coverage of the countdown. Instead, they lay together, relishing the fact that they had finally found someone to ward off the cold of the night.
96. Honesty
"You're too honest sometimes." Anita groaned, flopping onto the nearest piece of furniture.
"Because I said that this sweater makes me feel like a molting insect?" Carolyn asked innocently, removing the offending garment quickly. She put on her other shirt though. It wasn't nice to tease Anita like that.
"Well, yes." Anita peered at her over the arm of the couch. "That and you never tell white lies, that I can tell anyway."
"I don't like lying." Carolyn shrugged, inspecting the other shirt Anita bought for her. It was a shameless excuse to watch her change and they both knew it. "So why should I?"
"To make me feel better?"
"Please, you find my honesty refreshing after the bullshit your patients feed you." Carolyn snorted. "If you want to pout, whine believably."
"See what I mean?" Anita gave a long-suffering sigh.
97. All
Anita always gave everything her all, it was just how she believed life should be lived. The fact that she had very little patience when it came to anything other than work may have had something to do with her philosophy, but she usually didn't think about that
She loved people with her whole heart, for better or for worse; she also worked with a passion that bordered on extremes and had a tendency of scaring other psychiatrists with the force of her personality. She had tried to stay in the background one day, but she ended up in the spotlight in under an hour anyway. She worked out regularly, waking up early to go to the gym for a vigorous regime before returning home for a much-deserved shower. She never held back during sex, games or from people. If she read a book, she'd cleared her schedule so she could read it all the way through.
All things considered, it was not surprising she slept so soundly at night.
98. Nothing
When people ask her to what she thinks of Carolyn, there’s nothing Kelly can say that accurately described what she feels inside. Sometimes, she tries to do so anyway, feeling somewhat ridiculous as she whispers declarations of love to a sleeping woman; but even then, the words she wants elude her, making her face flush in frustration. Her pride keeps her from trying during the day, knowing that she’d just lose her ability to form sentences.
Once, when she actually said something clever she thought Carolyn would appreciate, she was extremely happy; but when she woke up the next morning, she could not remember what it was.
99. Words
Kelly's brother showed up one day wearing a pair of comfortable jeans and a dress shirt. "Jason?" She blinked, her body freezing on her.
He looked at her sheepishly. "Hey big sis, can I come in?"
"Do Mother and Father know where you are?" She blurted, a worried frown overcoming the look of shock.
"No, but that doesn't matter." A tentative grin. "Can I come in?"
"Oh, sure." She backed up. "Take off your shoes and I'll go make some coffee for you. You drink coffee, not tea right?"
"Um, yeah." He shut the door behind him and did as she suggested before following her into the kitchen. "This is... cozy." He looked around, eyes wide. Intellectually, he knew that his sister hasn't had contact with their parents for a long time, but seeing the financial differences between households was an entirely different matter.
"It's a lot easier to take care of then our parents' house." She shrugged. "What's going on Jason?"
"Well, I uh... I'm uh...."
"Oi Kelly," Carolyn called sleepily, stepping into the kitchen wearing nothing other than a large shirt that barely covered her upper thighs. "Where did you fling my panties last night- umm... there's someone there, isn't there?" She broke off abruptly, awareness sharpening as she smelled a man's cologne.
"Hi, Miss. McKay?" Jason said, wide-eyed. Unable to help himself, he looked over the woman's body, a warm flush spreading over his cheeks and down his body. His sister groaned and smacked him lightly. "What was that for?"
"Imagining my woman naked - more naked." Kelly amended.
"I thought she was straight!" He squeaked, looking at the two women in turn.
"Things change." Carolyn shrugged, knowing the truth of those words first-hand.
100. Possibilities.
Peter watched Carolyn, Kelly, and Anita grow together. Kelly, who had seemed so uncomfortable in her own skin when they first met, was now a more confident individual who would do anything for the ones she loves. Anita who was as untamed as a forest fire, was finally starting to settle down, so gradually that she hardly even noticed the subtle changes Lisa was making around her.
And Carolyn, who had changed the most at first glance; was much the same as ever, except now she was stronger and fiercer when it came to protecting the people around her.
The possibilities for them were truly endless.
And DONE~E!
It was during a Halloween party that somebody dared us to find the exit to his basement without a light for ten dollars. I agreed quickly, figuring that it'd be quite simple and would get us away from the group of drinkers. Kelly's grip on my hand tightened somewhat when we went down the stairs and they closed the door behind us. I didn't think much of it until I noticed her hand was getting sweaty. "Are you okay?" I asked curiously.
"It's pitch black." She answered uneasily. "They must've boarded the windows or something because there's absolutely no light!"
"Really?" I put my right hand against the wall and started to walk.
Kelly stood still.
"Kelly? Are you okay?" I asked, stopping abruptly.
"I got stuck in a cellar at my parent's cottage once." She answered, voice wavering like the light of a candle. "There was no light in there either."
"I see."
"You're not scared?" She asked, sounding tiny.
"Why should I be? I've lived my life in the dark." I hugged her, feeling her hold onto me desperately. "You're fine, I'll find the way out of here and then we can leave this stupid party. What do you think of pumpkin pie when we get home? It fits with Halloween and I'm starting to get hungry." I rambled, feeling my way around the room while Kelly pretty much stayed glued to me. Some prat even put up a bunch of bulletin boards to make a maze, so it took me longer than it would have otherwise, but we did find our way out.
Kelly still refused to leave my side for hours though.
75. Shade
"It's so ho~ot..." Kelly groaned as we walked through the park one day. "Let's find some shade."
"Ok." I shrugged. I was dressed in a tank-top and shorts so the heat of the sun did not bother me much. I'd rather be toasty in the summertime than freezing in the winter, that's for sure.
Of course, I only realized Kelly's ulterior motive when we were safely beneath a large willow tree. Leaves rustled in the wind around us, distracting me long enough for Kelly to pull me into her lap and kiss me soundly.
Not that I'm complaining anyway.
76. Who?
"You're kidding." The woman chocked on her Pepsi, and spent the next moment trying to get his breath back. "It must've been someone else."
"No, I saw them!"
"But Carolyn's straight!"
"Apparently not as much as you think."
"Are you really sure?"
"YES! How many other blind women do you know with that smoky voice? I could recognize it in a crowd at Scotia Square at New Years."
"Well it is a little distinct." Lillis agreed reluctantly.
77. What?
"So what happened?"
"I was walking past the old willow downtown and I heard the sound of a couple kissing. Normally, I wouldn't bother taking another look but the urge hit me this time so I snuck towards the side of the willow. I heard Carolyn laugh and saw that she was straddling someone."
"Could you see them well?"
"Well, there were leaves blocking me from view but I saw well enough. Carolyn was kissing someone beneath that tree, and that person was definitely female. She even said Carolyn's name!"
"So what's were they talking about?"
"They were basically sweet-talking each other. Carolyn's voice made her descriptions very sensual." He blushed brightly, remembering.
78. Where?
"Which park was this again?"
"South Park, near South street." He answered. The bright light that came to his eyes while he was spreading the gossip dimmed a little at Lillis' calculating look. He thought they'd be able to laugh about Carolyn's exploration of her lesbian side, but Lillis seemed in the mood to do anything but laugh. In fact, she looked a little angry now that he thought about it, and he was used to making her angry. He could not remember the two women ever getting angry at each other though. "Um... Lilly-dear, what's going through that head of yours?"
"Do you know where Carolyn said she was going for lunch today?" She asked mildly.
"Cafeteria as far as I know. Her and Lisa usually eat together now that its cold out."
"Was it Lisa?"
"Um, no." He blinked. "Nobody I recognized actually."
"I'll see you later "
79. When?
Lillis found Lisa in the cafeteria, eating with Monty. "Have you seen Carolyn?" She asked once she realized the woman was nowhere in sight.
"She went out for a few minutes to talk with a friend." Monty answered in his usual monotone, lazy eyes watching her carefully.
"Any idea when she'll get back?"
"Probably in five minutes or so." Lisa shrugged, eyes narrowing as something occured to her. "Why are you looking for Carolyn? You know she has another half and hour before she needs to go back."
"I need to talk to her about something not work-related." Lillis answered curtly, giving the head receptionist and the security guard a polite nod of thanks before going towards the main doors.
"I don't like this." Lisa mumbled.
"I agree." Monty rumbled, tugging his hat lower.
80. Why?
Lillis grabbed her coat from her office and went to wait for Carolyn just outside the doors to the radio station. She did not have to wait long before Carolyn came within sight, holding hands with another woman Lillis vaguely remembered. It took her a moment to actually place her as Carolyn's roommate. In the five minutes it took the couple to reach the station, Lillis recovered somewhat from her shock and was patiently waiting. "Hullo Carolyn."
"Lillis?" Her co-worker asked in surprise, turning away from her roommate to face Lillis. "What's up?"
"Why did you lie to me?"
"'Scuse me?" Carolyn cocked her head to the side. "Lie about what?"
"Why did you tell me you had a boyfriend when you're actually seeing her?" Lillis asked, noting the brief flash of hurt on Karate-woman's face before she regained control of herself. "Kyle saw you two kissing beneath a willow."
"You're the one that assumed that I was seeing a guy." Carolyn pointed out, blushing guiltily.
"Why didn't you correct me then?"
"It's none of your business who I'm dating." The blind woman growled, her grip on her lover's hand tightening even as the woman tried to pull away.
"I thought you were straight."
"So did I." Carolyn shrugged. "But Kelly changed my mind about a few notions." And then the woman kissed Kelly on the mouth, silently daring Lillis to say something.
81. How?
"How long has this been gong on?" Lillis said weakly, looking side-to-side for any gawkers and finding none.
"A year and a half or so." Carolyn answered vaguely. The woman beside her, Kelly, looked like she wanted to say something but decided against it. She was looking at the woman at her side in surprise however.
"So you must've had... um..."
"Not that it's any of your business, but yes. And I do like it. Are we done with this interrogation yet? because Kelly has to go back to work and it really is none of your business what I do on my own time." Carolyn growled
"I'll... um... see you in twenty minutes." Lillis finished, somewhat unnerved by Carolyn's attitude.
Kelly gave her an understanding nod over Carolyn's shoulder as Lillis went back inside.
82. If
Over the next few days, Carolyn started to wonder about whether or not she had been a little too abrupt with her co-worker. Lillis was treating her as if she were a bomb set to go off at any moment, and though her and Kyle still squabbled, she usually broke it off when Carolyn came back to the office. Rumors about her were starting to pick up speed in the building, whispers about her dating her female roommate, musings about how long there had been a lesbian in there midst.
If she had thought a little before acting, she probably would not have kissed Kelly like that. If she had not given the security cameras such a tantalizing bit of her life, the rumors would have died in a few hours; now, they were still growing stronger a week later.
She did not regret acknowledging Kelly as her girlfriend though. She knew that her evasiveness on the subject made Kelly feel a little shunned, so that was one weight off her back. If only it had not been replaced so quickly...
83. And
And with the growing quantity of sidelong glances in her direction, condescending smiles, and prayers for her soul; her friendship with Monty and Lisa grew accordingly. What had been an off-and-on habit of eating lunch together now became an established routine, where Monty's profession assured safety from physical hazing, and Lisa's connections prevented anything from happening to her job security.
If they any pressure, they did not tell Carolyn about it. Even if the woman did not seem affected by the attention she was getting, it was hard for them to believe that she did not feel any strain whatsoever. When she first joined the workforce, there had been a wave of curious onlookers to see a blind woman at work, but that had faded in a month and no one had thought much about it for a long time; now, some people were questioning the wisdom of hiring a gay blind woman.
Lillis and Kyle did not treat her any differently after a day or so however.
84. He
"You did what?" He demanded, taking the offered apple with his grubby hands. She sat down on the bench next to him, sighing.
"I told them I was going out with Kelly. Then I kissed her within range of the security cameras so now everybody and their siblings know I'm kissing women."
"Do you regret their knowing?"
"I don't care whether or not they know, I just want them to mind their own business and stop telling me how I'm damning my soul and other such nonsense. A few slipped pamphlets into my ingoing file but I can't read them anyway so I bring them home. Kelly usually ends up using them as fuel for a fire."
"And what about Kelly?"
"She's worried that I'll leave her because people think I'm gay."
"Aren't you?"
"At the moment, yeah. But Peter, it's not like I suddenly turned purple, is it? I mean, it's not like I'm having sex with animals or anything so why do they want to talk about it so much?"
"They don't have anything better to talk about?" Peter guessed.
"It's a radio station, we're always getting fresh news." She said flatly.
"I don't know Carolyn, people like to gossip." He ate some of the apple.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay out on the streets again?"
"I'm fine." He sighed. "Stop worrying already."
"I will when I know you're safe. I don't want to lose another fatherly person."
85. She
As far as Carolyn was concerned, there were two women she would ever love enough to have sex with. Of the two, Kelly was the one she really loved. She was the one who brought the sun's warmth to the night, she was the one who made her want to better herself, the one she trusted with her heart.
She was the woman, who for all her strength and martial arts training, still wanted Carolyn to love her as if she was a delicate little flower. She was a woman, despite her masculine tendency to try and protect Carolyn from everything. They played their games, but as far as each was concerned, the other was the only one they wanted.
86. Choices
Once a choice is made, you cannot go back and undo it. Whether it was a choice of going left or right, of starting to walk with your left foot or your right foot; vows made with words or to your own body must be carried out or you will trip. Words, something only humans have been known to master, bind their users and the ones who hear them to a promise. A shattered promise carries a certain weight, a negative reputation, a perception of oiliness just beneath the person's surface that drives some people to simply walk away, deal left unmade. A kept promise can have the opposite effect, but it can hurt just as much since Fate is not bound by humanity's view of right or wrong.
Anita has learned more than she wanted to know about choices; and yet she still finds that Carolyn, who apparently decides things on instinct, usually ends up regretting less. She tries it a few times, but thinking obscures her first impressions and she continues to choose the old way.
In a way, that is also a choice.
87. Life
For a long time, Kelly believed that life was nothing more than an experiment on how many things she could get wrong. Her childhood had been filled with rich food and vast educational activities, but she always felt alone when she looked out of the window of her tutor's house and saw a group of children playing in the street with nothing more than some towels. Sometimes she tried to figure out what they were playing, but games of imagination required some explanation between players and she wasn't close enough to make out anything other than laughter.
Unlike her brother, she was not content to stay at home and do as her parents dictated. She threw herself into the world of college and was stunned to find out that boys, who were supposed to really interest a girl her age, did not; but girls, who seemed to surround her in classes, did. Her roommate in particular was interesting enough that she allowed herself to be pulled into a world that she had never expected to enter.
In those two years, she learned how to live, but she always found that something was saying 'wait a minute' in the back of her mind. Her disownment taught her the value of getting a good job, and though Anita tried her best to help Kelly, she always felt a little adrift.
When Anita finally left her to pursue her career, Kelly felt like the ground beneath her feet had suddenly decided to turn into the ocean. She came close to drowning more than a few times, but Carolyn finally pulled her to shore and drained the sea of turmoil from her spirit. She finally found life.
88. School
The reason why Carolyn rarely talked about her school days was fairly simple, there was nothing to tell. She lived off her parents life insurance and the disability pension the government gave her, she paid for her journalism courses in the hopes of being able to get a real job. Doing nothing her whole life seemed like a waste, and her job as a radio host during school had given her ideas. Her aunt seemed proud that she was actually trying to do something with her life, and sometimes brought her food to make sure she was not about to starve before she amounted to anything.
The fact that she was constantly made fun of because of her blindness seemed to escape her memory whenever she talked about that time.
89. Work
Relationships were work. I ought to know that, being a relationship counselor and all. 'Brilliant Anita. Getting her angry over something stupid like forgetting her birthday was an act of sheer brilliance. For such a smart woman, you have the common sense of a stump.'
Which is why I'm wondering why my feet took me to the radio station. Shouldn't I get a gift before showing my face again?
But no... My feet are listening to some other frequency and now I'm going up the stairs and through the doors. I sashay my way over to the receptionists' desk, and am somewhat relieved to see that Lisa isn’t there. "Where's Carolyn?" I guess my lips are listening to the same frequency as my feet.
-I.E. Not my mind.
"She's having lunch. May I take a message?" The girl's polite face has a tinge of disgust to it.
"And Lisa?"
"Is with Carolyn, probably."
Well, since the lunch area is a public place... My feet and I reach an accord and I'm off to the lunch area. As I walk, I hear whispers about my women that make my fingers twitch with the urge to strangle someone. No wonder my poor Lisa has been looking so stressed! I can't believe nobody told me Carolyn was being dissed at work.
It's time for a little Anita ass-kicking action.
90. Home
"Ah! Carolyn, long time no see my dear!" I squeezed in between my startled girl-love and Carolyn, who's more accustomed to my randomness. "How's things at home?"
"Not bad, you?" Such a fox, I must say.
"Absolutely well now that I have my head on a little less upside-down. Thanks to you." I grinned, knowing that she was about to blush.
Damn I'm good.
"What are you planning Anita?" She demanded suspiciously. I've raised her well, I must say.
"I was just about to provide a little relationship counseling for the station." I answered, pitching my voice so it'd carry across the suddenly-quiet lunch room. "I heard a few unpleasant notions floating around that I want to correct."
"Anita-"
"Consider it a birthday present for Lisa." I winked at the woman in question, pleased when her pallor lessened a little.
After I talked circles around Carolyn's co-workers, something I've always been good at (Kelly says it's because I'm a blabbermouth but she doesn't appreciate me properly), I gave them a sudden rush of information of the latest gossip I've heard through the grapevine. That sent the journalists in them off on an orgasm and effectively got them out of my dear girls' combined hair.
Carolyn laughed, sounding more carefree than she has been in a while
From the look in Lisa's eyes, I think I'm forgiven. Hell, I know I'm in for a special little something tonight.
91. Birthday
"Happy birthda~ay!" Anita practically sang, pulling Kelly into a dance and leaving Lisa shaking her head near me. "You two dance!" She ordered, moving too fast for Kelly to do anything other than follow her lead.
I gave Lisa a sheepish smile. "Should we indulge the lunatic?"
"Ah, why not?" Lisa put her hands on my body and started to guide me into a slow dance. "We'll just have to make them jealous, won't we?" I have a feeling she winked at the other two.
It's enough to make a girl feel rather outnumbered.
Either way, it was fun to dance with Lisa since she knew what she was doing. At the end of the song, she gave me a quick kiss and then Anita stole me away with a cackle. "Well, everybody else here has done it so I was curious." I heard her explain to Kelly, somewhat sheepishly. I stopped paying attention to them once Anita started to kiss me tenderly, hands wandering.
After a few minutes of this, Kelly practically carried me away from Anita's grasp and started to dance with me. "So you never did tell what my present was." She whispered.
"Well, I was thinking of wearing your cat-bell chocker and the felt cat ears from my Halloween costume." I stood up on my tippy toes to whisper in her ear.
She shivered, her breath catching in her throat. "Really...?" She breathed, sliding her hand under my shirt possessively. "And what else?"
"Well, I was thinking nothing." I kissed her.
If there was any space between our bodies while she kissed back, I didn't notice any.
"I do believe Kelly's getting some later." Anita stage-whispered. "She has that 'sex' look of anticipation on her face. The vixen trumped my present again."
"Shut up Anita." Lisa groaned.
"Kissing me usually works." The woman answered cheekily.
92. Christmas
Kelly had already unpacked the fake Christmas tree from its box, fluffed its branches so they weren't all bunch together, and was unraveling the lights when Carolyn got up one morning. "I heard thumping- I smell something musty... Did you unpack the tree?" She asked, stopping a foot away from one of the string of lights Kelly had straightened out.
"Yes m'dear." She grinned, escorting the blind woman to a couch so she didn't step on any of the ornaments strewn everywhere. "You're up early."
"You were making enough noise to wake the dead." She answered flatly, yawning.
"Harsh."
"True though." Another yawn. "I think I'll take a nap..."
"Go ahead love." Kelly smirked. It really wasn't a very nice idea, but she was tempted...
When Carolyn woke up half an hour later to the whirl of Kelly's camera, she was effectively wrapped up in tinsel, lights, and ribbon; and there was a bow on the nape of her neck. "When I get out of this, you're so dead." She growled, blushing brightly.
Kelly managed to calm her down after a couple hours.
93. Thanksgiving
"Thank you for the company." Kelly intoned, raising her class.
"Cheers!"
"Thank you for the visions of loveliness around me." Anita drawled. "And Peter, who is lovely in spirit."
"Thanks Anita." He mumbled, joining the rest of them in "Cheers!" He definitely heard Carolyn's snicker but refused to respond. "Thank you for second chances and a person's innate goodness." He toasted.
"Cheers!"
"Thank you for chance meetings and love." Lisa smiled shyly, blushing at Peter's amused look.
"Aww, sweetie." Anita kissed the other woman, an impish smile on her face. "Yummy..." She purred, making Lisa's blush deepen. "Cheers!"
"Cheers!" They echoed.
"And thank you for the food!" Carolyn chirped, starting to eat as everybody stared at her. "Wot?"
"You just lost me five dollars." Anita told her mournfully. "I was sure you'd mention family."
"Well, you guys already know that so why would I bother?" Carolyn shrugged, taking a sip of water.
"I'll take that five dollars now." Peter smirked.
"It's in my bra." Anita smirked back. "Try and take it from me."
Peter blushed and decided it could wait a little.
94. Independence
"Are guys going to come and see the fireworks or what?" Anita asked, showing up at their doorstep an hour before the fireworks were scheduled to start. "It's July 1st you know!"
"I don't think so." Kelly answered, eyes going to Carolyn's white cane and back.
"Hey Carolyn, don't you want to check out the atmosphere at the waterfront?" Anita wheedled, stepping past Kelly into the house. "Caro~oly~yn."
The woman was sitting on the couch, listening to her CD player with her eyes closed. But when Anita plopped down on the couch on top of her, she removed the earphones and pointedly pushed Anita off of her. "Yes?"
"Meany." Anita removed herself from the floor. "Did you want to go see the fireworks?"
"No."
"I don't think Kelly's seen them in years."
Carolyn considered that. "Really?"
"Mhmm." Anita opened the CD player to see a CD by 'Snow Patrol'.
"Fine." Carolyn shivered, going towards her room.
"Where you going?"
"To get a bigger sweater."
And though Kelly did enjoy the fireworks; she did not enjoy the fact that Carolyn shuddered every time one went off. Anita watched Kelly hold Carolyn protectively for a moment, before curiosity got the better of her. "What's wrong?"
"She's scared of thunder." Kelly explained.
Anita winced. "Oops."
95. New Year
New Year's was a time of promises to come. Though you can never escape your own past, having an established time for the change of year gave an illusion of being able to completely start over. This led to a flurry of promises: to stop smoking, to get in better shape, to be a better person, to work harder, to raise marks, to never go out with men/women you know are bad for you, to save money by walking to work, etc.
Some people succeeded in their goals, some tried hard but failed, and some forgot their promise as soon as temptation came along. 'I Love You's broke hearts and healed them in equal amounts, and what was really important was knowing yourself.
Kelly and Carolyn did not exactly pay attention to the countdowns performed throughout the country. It was too cold out to go stand with the people in Scotia Square, and Carolyn refused to watch C100's coverage of the countdown. Instead, they lay together, relishing the fact that they had finally found someone to ward off the cold of the night.
96. Honesty
"You're too honest sometimes." Anita groaned, flopping onto the nearest piece of furniture.
"Because I said that this sweater makes me feel like a molting insect?" Carolyn asked innocently, removing the offending garment quickly. She put on her other shirt though. It wasn't nice to tease Anita like that.
"Well, yes." Anita peered at her over the arm of the couch. "That and you never tell white lies, that I can tell anyway."
"I don't like lying." Carolyn shrugged, inspecting the other shirt Anita bought for her. It was a shameless excuse to watch her change and they both knew it. "So why should I?"
"To make me feel better?"
"Please, you find my honesty refreshing after the bullshit your patients feed you." Carolyn snorted. "If you want to pout, whine believably."
"See what I mean?" Anita gave a long-suffering sigh.
97. All
Anita always gave everything her all, it was just how she believed life should be lived. The fact that she had very little patience when it came to anything other than work may have had something to do with her philosophy, but she usually didn't think about that
She loved people with her whole heart, for better or for worse; she also worked with a passion that bordered on extremes and had a tendency of scaring other psychiatrists with the force of her personality. She had tried to stay in the background one day, but she ended up in the spotlight in under an hour anyway. She worked out regularly, waking up early to go to the gym for a vigorous regime before returning home for a much-deserved shower. She never held back during sex, games or from people. If she read a book, she'd cleared her schedule so she could read it all the way through.
All things considered, it was not surprising she slept so soundly at night.
98. Nothing
When people ask her to what she thinks of Carolyn, there’s nothing Kelly can say that accurately described what she feels inside. Sometimes, she tries to do so anyway, feeling somewhat ridiculous as she whispers declarations of love to a sleeping woman; but even then, the words she wants elude her, making her face flush in frustration. Her pride keeps her from trying during the day, knowing that she’d just lose her ability to form sentences.
Once, when she actually said something clever she thought Carolyn would appreciate, she was extremely happy; but when she woke up the next morning, she could not remember what it was.
99. Words
Kelly's brother showed up one day wearing a pair of comfortable jeans and a dress shirt. "Jason?" She blinked, her body freezing on her.
He looked at her sheepishly. "Hey big sis, can I come in?"
"Do Mother and Father know where you are?" She blurted, a worried frown overcoming the look of shock.
"No, but that doesn't matter." A tentative grin. "Can I come in?"
"Oh, sure." She backed up. "Take off your shoes and I'll go make some coffee for you. You drink coffee, not tea right?"
"Um, yeah." He shut the door behind him and did as she suggested before following her into the kitchen. "This is... cozy." He looked around, eyes wide. Intellectually, he knew that his sister hasn't had contact with their parents for a long time, but seeing the financial differences between households was an entirely different matter.
"It's a lot easier to take care of then our parents' house." She shrugged. "What's going on Jason?"
"Well, I uh... I'm uh...."
"Oi Kelly," Carolyn called sleepily, stepping into the kitchen wearing nothing other than a large shirt that barely covered her upper thighs. "Where did you fling my panties last night- umm... there's someone there, isn't there?" She broke off abruptly, awareness sharpening as she smelled a man's cologne.
"Hi, Miss. McKay?" Jason said, wide-eyed. Unable to help himself, he looked over the woman's body, a warm flush spreading over his cheeks and down his body. His sister groaned and smacked him lightly. "What was that for?"
"Imagining my woman naked - more naked." Kelly amended.
"I thought she was straight!" He squeaked, looking at the two women in turn.
"Things change." Carolyn shrugged, knowing the truth of those words first-hand.
100. Possibilities.
Peter watched Carolyn, Kelly, and Anita grow together. Kelly, who had seemed so uncomfortable in her own skin when they first met, was now a more confident individual who would do anything for the ones she loves. Anita who was as untamed as a forest fire, was finally starting to settle down, so gradually that she hardly even noticed the subtle changes Lisa was making around her.
And Carolyn, who had changed the most at first glance; was much the same as ever, except now she was stronger and fiercer when it came to protecting the people around her.
The possibilities for them were truly endless.
And DONE~E!