A randomly weird post
Have you ever awakened from an intense erotically charged romantic dream in a state of warm fuzziness, with a smile on your lips. Your only real thought being something along the lines of, “Mmmm that was nice…” only to snap back to the harsh light of reality, as you realize exactly who it was you were dreaming about? This realization and dawning unease followed generally by a thought similar to “Oh god…” or perhaps…”What the hell?” Now I’m not talking about someone you find repulsive in life, I’m thinking more along the lines of someone you simple wouldn’t tend to think of in a sexual light. Or at the very least someone you actively avoid thinking of like that. Your boss for example, or a friends boyfriend/husband. Someone while not unattractive, completely inappropriate? Someone you would shortly have to face?
Explain to me, if you have had this happen, exactly how do you face someone when you’ve just had and incredibly erotic dream about them? How do you make eye contact, avoid blushing, not stammer? And for god sake how do keep from picturing any part of the dream in their presence?
Only one person knows about this dream, and he finds the whole thing incredibly funny. Oh he won’t tell anyone, but he will tease the hell out of me in ways they no one else will get but I will. He will attempt to trip me up in a way that will result in my telling said object of the dream/or his girlfriend. And he will find the situation hilarious. That is his nature. I honestly don’t think anyone will get upset but the girlfriend (who I’ve been trying to befriend for months now) will be uncomfortable, I’ll be embarrassed as hell. He’d probably find it funny. (I wouldn’t really know, I’ve only meet him a couple times, but he seems like the type to find it really funny) All in all to much trouble. Just don’t say anything you might say?
As none of you know me in person none of you are in the position to know exactly how BAD I am at keeping secrets about myself. Tell me your deepest darkest secret it will go to the grave with me. But I have a secret…well it doesn’t stay that way long. I can’t lie about myself. I blush the instant anyone comes near guessing what embarrassing little thoughts float through my mind. I stammer. I can’t meet anyone’s eyes. I get klutzy. I get quiet, which as I can’t shut up on a general basis is a dead give away. I tend to be easily embarrassed on a general basis. I’m the girl who buries her face in her hands when she lets something slip. I’m the girl who can’t bare to look when someone makes a fool of themselves on TV, or the movies as it’s so frequently me in said situation. I’m 25 and still blush to the roots of my hair when I realize I’m being flirted with. Something me few RL friends take no small amount of amusement from. Something my last boyfriend found endearing, but not endearing enough to stay. …okay I’ve rambled off point. Another give away. I ramble when embarrassed/nervous, going from not saying a word to not saying anything that makes sense, to turning practically purple, and not meeting anyone’s eyes… not subtle you know?
I’ve been working on it for years, and somehow I don’t think by the time I see them in the next day or two I’m going to get over it. Sigh. Sorry about the weirdness of this post. Just…the closer I get to seeing them again the more nervous I get. Particularly given the fact that “One little dream,” that Robert knows about and keeps giving me shit about, has recently become more like…Three or four. Something I am going to try really, really hard for no one to find out about. Especially Robert. He’s having a field day as it is.